Just a Cup of Sugar
by silver drip
Summary: Carlisle is a divorced vampire who just can't seem to stop staring at his very sexy neighbor, a human Bella who doesn't know how to close her window shades and who always disappears on the weekend. No Twilight. Bella/Carlisle.
1. I Spy

***Static* Hello folks this is your pilot speaking on this flight we are expecting quite a few twists, and if you scroll down you'll see some song lyrics, hopefully this will introduce you to some new music, our flight won't be the smoothest, but don't worry I'm a very experienced pilot. We should be arriving at our destination at roughly 20 chapters. *click***

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**Chapter One: I Spy…**

Carlisle's POV

It was going to turn out to be one of those days that the humans would deem as having perfect weather, by Washington standards at least. I could already tell even though the sun hadn't risen yet. The sky was covered by clouds, as always, but the temperature was just shy of being warm. The morning air smelt crisp with the promise of rain tonight, yet it wasn't muggy.

I was taking my time unpacking my car, moving my belongings into my new house. It was too big for my taste, but it was one of the more secluded houses. I only had one neighbor. There house was downhill of mine and nearly as big as my three story one. It was far enough away not to be a bother and I doubted they would be able to see through my windows unless they had a telescope.

Just as I pulled out the last box I heard the twanging opening tune of Marvin Gaye's _Let's Get it On. _

_I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long_

I was slightly surprised by the music and checked my watch. It was five in the morning. I started slightly bobbing my head to the tune as I moved my last box into the house.

_And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon  
Let's get it on_

The music was coming from down the hill. I saw some of the lights in the house flash on all at once. Over the music I heard a female groan and yawn as I started unpacking at a human pace. It was about a minute before a slightly off tune voice joined in on the song.

_You don't' have to worry that it's wrong_

_If the spirit moves you let me groove you good._

The song drifted off into another one I didn't recognize. I pulled out a portrait of my family, during the happy times. My arm was wrapped around Esme's waist. Rosalie's head was tucked under Emmett's chin as he held her from behind. Jasper was carrying Alice princess style. Edward was to my right, hands in his pockets, smiling crookedly. We were all so… happy, but things change. Esme, sweet Esme found a man more suited for her. He was a good man I suppose, albeit a human drinker. He treated her right and made her happy and that's all that really mattered.

After she had left me five years ago I had stayed with the rest of the family as we did our usual routine of them going to school and me working at the local hospital. It was… too much though, having two happy couples around me. It was too similar to how thing used to be before she left me. It was like at any moment she could walk through the door with some paint or fabrics.

Edward had wanted to move with me when I announced I was going to move out, but I had refused. This time alone, I was hoping at least, would help me find myself. I've been so lost since Esme left.

By seven I was unpacked completely. The house had already been furnished before I bought it off the market. I went outside to pull out the sold sign. I glanced down the hill. The house was silent and the lights were off.

I was supposed to start working tomorrow at the local hospital. I believe it was called Halterman General Hospital. I could visit the family. They were two hours away, but I felt like that would only depress me. I glanced around, looking for ideas on what to do.

After changing into an outfit Esme would deem as 'gardening clothes' I made my way to the shed in the backyard. There was a fairly new looking lawnmower with a full tank of gas. I pulled it out and started to tame the unkempt grass. The mow-able area behind the house wasn't that big, the lawn being cut off by the forest. I moved at a human pace as I maneuvered the growling machine. There was a footpath heading into the woods. I'd have to check that out later.

The front yard was bigger, but stopped right where it started to slope. I was surprised to see that the slope was cut, since it was so steep. Sadly, all the mowing only took a little over an hour. As I put away the mower I heard the faint beat of music in sync with the rhythm of feet on the ground.

_Most of these niggaz think they be mackin' but they be actin'  
Who they attractin' with that line, "What's your name, what's your sign"?  
Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind  
And ask what your interests are, "who you be with"?  
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial  
You gon' be here for a while, I'm gon' go call my crew  
You go call your crew_

I glanced down the slope near my neighbor's house. Through the trees I spotted a woman running on a trail with an ipod tethered to her arm. Small earbuds, blasted music into her ears as she ran on a trail. She burst through the trees, breathes fast yet controlled, and kept up her pace till she was at the backdoor of the house at the bottom of the slope. She stood on her toes and reached up to the sill above the door. I was transfixed as she pulled down a glinting key, hopping from foot to foot as to keep up her heart rate.

A dog ran out of the house, but she didn't seem to care. I could see her through the windows as she quickly made her way to a room that looked like a cross between a small gym, an enclosed porch, and sunroom.

She docked her ipod as her hips stared to sway and she grabbed a bottle of water from a mini fridge in the corner. The song changed and she smiled faintly. I was rooted in my spot. She was beautiful, absolutely riveting. Her chocolate locks were in a high ponytail and she was wearing only a sports bra and compression shorts. Her face was flushed from the run and a light sheen of sweat made her look like she was glowing.

The stunning woman sat on a bench, took off her shoes and pulled on sparring gloves and shin guards. She was dancing in her seat to the music.

_Stand up  
You've got to manage  
I won't sympathize  
Anymore_

_And if you complain once more_  
_You'll meet an army of me_

She started singing as she made her way to a punching bag that dangled from the ceiling. With swift, elegant motions she pounded on it, landing hit after kick in a dizzyingly fast motion. If I was human I doubt I would have been able to keep up.

I retreated into my house when I heard her dog start barking at me. She let out a shrill whistle and the dog came bounding back into the house through a dog door.

I continued watching through my front room. The husky ran into the room and plopped down on a dog bed in the corner.

After half an hour of her just completely attacking the punching bag an alarm went off startling me. The music changed mid-song and started playing upstairs.

Taking another swig of the water she started walking and humming to the song. When she got to the room that I assume was her bedroom she started stripping and I nearly groaned when she started singing too.

_If you got a big dick, let me search it  
And find out how hard I gotta work ya_

My erection was painful and the idea of pleasuring myself to her lovely body, but I was already feeling like a dirty old man so I refrained. Utilizing all my self control I closed my curtains and went upstairs and opened my laptop to put on some of my own music to drown hers out. I looked up medical articles, the stock market, and pretty much anything to distract me from the image of the naked woman down the slope.

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**The songs were: Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye, Big Poppa by Notorious B.I.G., Army of Me by Bjork, and Work It by Missy Elliot.**

******First chapter what do ya think? Side-note: I'm also writing a Jasper/Bella fic that's currently update every Monday.  
**

******Should I continue? **


	2. Pencil Skirt and Button Up

**No song lyrics this chapter. Thanks for the support!**

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**Chapter Two: Pencil Skirt and Button Up**

Carlisle's POV

It had been over an hour since I'd gotten my little peep show. I turned off my music and was both glad and sad to only hear the heartbeat of the dog coming from the house at the bottom of the slope. It was probably for the best though… Even though Esme and I had signed the divorce papers roughly five years ago the thought of any relationship, even one-sided on my part was painful.

Most of the time Esme would do the grocery shopping, but since that wasn't going to happen I'd have to be the one to keep up appearances.

The fifty minute drive to the city was silent. The grocery store was horribly similar to all the other ones I've seen in the past decade. I got mostly canned goods, things I could donate, as well as a gallon of milk and some bread. Usually we just dumped the milk and left the bread in the forest for the animals. It was… all very routine.

By the time I was done at the grocery store it had just hit noon. Had the days always been this long? It was so strange to live alone after so long.

With a sigh I decided I might as well just tour the hospital, get my bearings and the like. It was a newer establishment, under five years old. I could tell just by looking at it once I pulled up. I introduced myself to one of the receptionist as the new doctor.

"The board is in a meeting right now, but they should be getting out soon. I am sure one of them will want to give you the tour since they're the ones who hired you." She said as she typed away on her computer, not even looking up from the screen. "Just take a seat. They should be out in five. I already sent a message to the head of the board so they know you're here."

I sat in one of the plastic chairs and picked up one of the many worn out magazines. A few minutes later I heard the clicking of heels.

"Ms. Swan the new doctor is just over there." I didn't look up at the receptionist's words since they would be out of a human's hearing range. As I flipped through the pages I could feel a pair of eyes on me.

"I believe your name is Dr. Cullen?" A woman asked as she approached me. I looked up and was surprised. It was my neighbor, this time fully dressed. She wore a tight black skirt that stopped just below her knees, a light blue button up shirt, black heels that no doctor would wear, as well as a pair of black glasses. I hid my surprise and put on a professional smile as I stood.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Cullen. And you are?" I held out my hand and she shook it without hesitation.

"Ms. Swan, Head of the Board. I was under the impression that you didn't start till tomorrow." She looked up at me with a questioning look. I cleared my throat, not used to feeling embarrassed.

"That's correct. I was hoping I'd get the layout of this place today so I can jump right into my duties tomorrow." Ms. Swan gave me a big smile and I had to stifle a groan, my mind flashing back to her naked form.

"It's good to see someone excited for their job. First things first, I need some coffee. Listening to those old men prattle always tires me out." She laughed to herself then glanced at me as she led me down the hallway. "You won't tell them I said that, will you?" She looked genuinely concerned.

"Of course not, Ms. Swan. You're the first one I've met here. It would be foolish of me to make you an enemy, especially someone in such a high position." Without realizing it I had started trying to flirt. She was unaffected and I was disappointed with myself. "You must be good at your job to have such a high position at such a young age. You don't look older than 23." Her shoulders immediately stiffened and I regretted my words.

"We all have our talents." She said in a low tone before continuing the tour. Ms. Swan started rattling off facts about the hospital and which doctor belonged to which department.

"Obviously this is the hospital cafeteria." She went to the counter then looked back. "Would you like a cup? Doctors drink free." I shook my head no. The kid behind the counter was quick and had her cup ready before she could even place her order. "Thanks Pete." She pulled out a sleek black credit card from a purse and handed it to the younger man. "Sadly this is the best coffee place in this city. We have three McDonalds and yet no Starbucks. I'll never understand this world."She said lightheartedly. I followed her around the building until we were back where we started. "So how are you enjoying the city life so far?"

"Actually I live outside of the city in the forest right off Mormount Road." She perked up.

"Do you perchance live on Ronpark Drive?"

"Yes, how'd you know?" I pretended to be surprised.

"I believe that would make us neighbors. I was wondering who bought the house on the hill." She took a sip of her coffee. "I'll have to be sure Jake doesn't wake you up at night?"

"Jake?" I asked, slightly disheartened.

"My dog. He's prone to barking at squirrels at night."

"I'm a heavy sleeper." I lied and she nodded.

"Perfect." She smiled and once again I was transfixed. "Oh, would you like the number of the guy who cuts my lawn. I know he is always looking for more work." Ms. Swan pulled out her blackberry, presumably looking for the number. I placed my hand over her typing one.

"No thanks. I like to do my own lawn work." I removed my hand when she looked at me curiously. "Although I'd love getting your number," she gave me a look of suspicion, "in case I ever need to borrow a cup of sugar." I said in a light tone and she laughed. From her purse she pulled out a business card.

"I usually have my phone, but I don't answer on the weekends." I glanced down at the card. So her first name is Isabella.

"So Ms. Swan, you never told me in which department you work in." She didn't respond immediately. We were standing in front of the hospital, almost in the parking lot.

"I volunteer in the Physical Therapy wing. This hospital is renowned for that department. Since we live near an army base we get a lot of wounded veterans." I nodded and she drained the last of her coffee.

"You should come over some time for dinner." I offered and she tossed her empty cup into a trashcan, her eyes had hardened.

"Sorry I don't go out with co-workers." I had the feeling she wasn't telling me the complete truth so I bent my meaning around a bit.

"What I meant was, you're the only person I know around here and you're my neighbor. It would be nice to learn more about this place from a friend." She looked at me skeptically before shrugging.

"There is a deli on 8th Street that I go to for lunch every Thursday at noon. You can meet me there if you like." I grinned even though today was Friday. "You should go introduce yourself to Dr. Paxter. He's the one who suggested we hire you and who you'll be working under."

"Good idea." She pulled out a key from her purse and clicked a button. A stunning dark green Bugatti Veyron chirped back.

"Have a good day, Dr. Cullen." She waved back at me without looking.

"You too, Ms. Swan."

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**So Ms. Swan has an interesting history/life. I look forward to writing it out for you all. **

**Next chapter will be a bit dirty… **

**I write for myself, but I post for you guys. Show me that there is enough of you out there who want me to post! Review!**


	3. One Pump Chump

**Chapter Three: One Pump Chump**

Carlisle's POV

As I unloaded my groceries I glanced down the slope at Ms. Swan's house, Isabella's house. I could tell by the upturned rocks on the gravel driveway that she had been back since this morning. Only the heartbeat of the dog penetrated the large house.

I placed all the nonperishable groceries in boxes to be shipped to food banks. Night came and went and she still wasn't back. I tried to put her out of my mind, but from my study I had a clear view of her house, a constant reminder.

I didn't understand why I was so transfixed on this woman who was practically a stranger. Maybe I should take up Tanya's offer for a good romp between the sheets. I shook my head at the idea. That plan didn't sit well with me, now if that someone who was offering their body to me was Isabella… I shook my head again, ridding myself of the thought.

In hopes of being distracted from my thoughts I called our house in Forks… just to keep up with the family. That took up a good two hours, most of which was done by Alice telling me about their new high school.

The sun rose as I started preparing for my first day on the job.

It was all… routine. Every appointment, every flirting nurse, fake bathroom break, it all blended together. Normally, just seeing the appreciation on my patient's faces and saving a life here and there was enough to make my job fulfilling. When that feeling failed I used to have Esme and the family to look forward to seeing. Now there was nothing but a silent house and empty bed.

I stopped by the local library to pick up some reading material. After finishing a movie and half way through my second book I heard a slight pawing on my front door accompanied by a feeble whimper. When I opened my door Ms. Swan's husky bolted inside, tail wagging. He circled around me a few times sniffing before sitting at my feet, expectantly. I was still holding the door open, completely perplexed. Most of the time animals naturally shied away from vampires, but not this one apparently.

"Go home, Jake." I said in a stern tone. All he did in response was flicking his left ear. Glancing out the door I could tell that Isabella's house was empty. "Go." He whimpered. I picked him up and put him outside, quickly running back into my house and closing the door behind me. As I made my way back upstairs I could hear the husky pawing at the door again. I tried to read but the dog kept distracting me. After a half a hour I gave up on trying to ignore him. I opened the door and he came back in. I left it cracked for when he wanted to leave. The husky followed me back upstairs to my study. When I sat at my desk he settled at my feet and promptly fell asleep.

It was actually kind of nice, having something in the house other than me making noise. The husky started snoring lightly. He stayed like that throughout the night, only waking up when I moved to grab another book. At five o'clock on the dot he got up and went back to his own house only to come back ten minutes later, tail low. I patted him softly on the head. He was probably missing his master. When I was ready to go back to work he followed me outside all the way to my car before I took off in it.

It was… another blurred day. The only thing that was different that day was a bad double car accident with a pregnant woman involved.

When I got home after working a double shift music was pulsating from Isabella's house at a low volume. As I parked I glanced down the slope. Isabella was in her pool swimming laps. The sun was low in the sky and I couldn't imagine that the pool was warm. At the edge of the pool was a mixed drink.

_If your horny, Let's do it  
Ride it, My Pony  
My saddle's waiting  
Come and jump on it_

Her phone sang out. It was a different one than her blackberry. She swam over, took a large gulp of her drink then dried her hands before looking at the phone. Her face lit up and she broke out into a fit of giggles. She tapped a few buttons then started swimming again, in her barely there string bikini.

I shook myself out of my stupor when I realized I had been watching her for over five minutes.

I turned on the Sunday evening news and tried to concentrate on the current happenings, but every time her ringtone went off my jaw would clench. I could hear everything, the splashing, her laughs, her dog's tail wagging, and the clicking of her fingers against the phone. It was all very distracting.

After the show ended I retreated to my study. Admittedly so there was a reason other than saving energy as to why I didn't turn on the lights. The curtains were cracked open, letting in the last rays of sunshine in and what a sight that slight opening granted. I had a clear view of Isabella's house. I could hear her walking up the stairs. For once her ipod wasn't on. As she reached bedroom she let out a slow yawn, still clad in her bikini. She stretched, lifting her hands up high and I heard her back cracking, making her moan. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from my own moan.

She was swaying even though there was no music playing. Her back was to me as she undressed.

_You let me violate you_

Her words were faint, but I could hear her lovely voice singing to herself. She hummed a bit more only choosing a few choice lyrics to sing.

_Help me; the only thing that works for me_

Isabella tossed her swimsuit out of my sight. I felt like my eyes should have been raking over her body, but instead they were drawn to her face. She almost looked like she was in a trance as she continued to sway in front of the window. Her eyes were closed tightly and she was biting her plump lower lip.

_Help me get away from myself_

Suddenly she had a sly smirk and instead of singing the next lyric she shouted it in a harsh, breathless voice.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal_

I nearly came and she laughed to herself, still humming as she walked to the sadly windowless bathroom.

Not long after the peep show she went to sleep after showering.

I rubbed the heels of my hands against my closed eyes and growled. What the hell am I doing? How old was I again? Because I was feeling awfully like some hormonal teenager finding out that the internet had porn.

I couldn't get the image of her body out of my mind. Each soft curve called to me, every word she spoke was a siren's call, and each sigh she gave was a lure. Every time she danced it was like God himself was telling me to bury myself as deep as possible inside of her. I groaned. A good hunt was in order.

Taking off through the forest I found prey easily and gorged myself on the doe, but it wasn't enough. I went out further looking for something… more predator like. I found a bobcat feasting on a rabbit and quickly took it down.

I was full, but unsatisfied and my mind quickly went back to Isabella. This was one of the few times I regretted my vamperic mind. I could still see her perfectly in my mind like she was standing right in front of me. Without my permission my mind started imagining…

"Carlisle, what part of fuck me like an animal didn't you understand?" She was wearing the same business outfit that I saw her in that first day at the hospital. Slowly she unbuttoned her shirt revealing a modest yet lacey white bra.

"Isabella…" I hissed out when I felt her hands undo my belt.

"Come on Carlisle, sometimes it's nice to just let go." Now she was in her small bikini, still wet from the pool. She pulled my erection out from the confines of my pants and dropped to her knees. "Just relax. I know what I'm doing." She winked at me before wrapping her lips around my length and moaning. I came almost immediately.

The image of her lips quickly dissipated, replaced only by my hand. I felt a bit pathetic for coming so soon, but pushed aside the feeling. It really had been too long since I took care of myself. I never had to after I turned Esme and I suppose I just hadn't worked it back into my routine, especially since there was such a big family in the house.

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**Songs: Pony by Ginuwine, and Closer by Nine Inch Nails. **

**Did you like that lime? Should I continue? **


	4. Deli Times

**Chapter Four: Deli Times**

Carlisle's POV

As the days passed I quickly picked up on Isabella's routine. She woke up every day to Marvin Gaye's song _Let's Get it On_ at exactly five o'clock. She had a quick breakfast then went for a long run in the woods. After that she would do a quick, very intense work out that varied for thirty minutes. After her shower she always got dressed, had a second breakfast then headed somewhere in one of her two cars.

Evenings were different. Every other night she would swim laps in the pool. I figure it had to be a heated pool. On the nights she didn't take a dip in the pool she sat on the back porch reading a thick book with her dog at her feet. She always had a satisfied smile gracing her lips whenever she read. I had never seen anyone so happy to be reading.

I never knew where she went after she left her house, and a part of me didn't want to know. I was living in a delusion of sorts. An imaginary world where all she does is a show for me…

I hadn't seen her in the hospital since the first day I toured it which disappointed me.

As I watched her finish her morning routine I smiled. It was finally Thursday. I had the night shift today, so all that there was for me to do was wait for my meeting with Isabella at the deli.

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I gave myself a pep talk as I drove to the deli. I'm a single male, I've seen no man or woman laying claim on her. I growled at myself. I'm a vampire, we're supposed to attract humans. I just have to turn on the charm to change this casual meal into something more.

Problem is, I have no idea how to 'turn on the charm'. I had vague memories as a human of flirting, but that had been another time. Social customs have completely changed since then. I never really had to flirt with Esme. Everything had been so simple, almost clinical now that I look back on it.

I parked and fed the meter. It was still ten minutes till twelve when I grabbed a table at the deli. I was suddenly struck with the idea that she might have forgotten we were supposed to meet, but then I remembered she said that this was part of her routine. From what I saw of her I was confident that she stuck to her routines.

The bell above the door rang and I looked up from my menu. Isabella was scanning the area, hopefully looking for me. When our eyes met she smiled.

"Hello Dr. Cullen." She said as she walked over. I stood and pulled out a chair for her. She gave me an incredulous look, but sat regardless.

"Please call me Carlisle." Isabella pulled her hair over her shoulder, not immediately responding. I could tell from her eyes that she was measuring me up. She shrugged almost imperceptibly.

"Fine, but only since we're neighbors. You can call me Bella, if you like." A waitress started making her way over and Bella still hadn't picked up her menu.

"I'd like that, Bella." I was used to think of her as Isabella, but the change came easily. The waitress addressed her first and I took the small amount of time she was distracted to look at her attire. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a violet long sleeve top. The pendent on her necklace was a silver swan. I realized she was wearing that necklace the first time we officially met. The waitress turned to me and I ordered an Italian sub and water.

"So I suppose I should tell you about this place." She glanced out to the city and the waitress put a cup of coffee in front of Bella. After putting a packet of sugar in the coffee and taking a sip she seemed to relax a bit.

"You could, or you could tell me more about yourself." I was surprised when a radiant blush colored her cheeks.

"Dr. Cullen I think you somehow misunderstood the point of this meeting." Her voice was completely business like, but her blush broke her professional façade.

"Back to Dr. Cullen, are we? No, I remember exactly what I said. My exact words were: It would be nice to learn more about this place from a friend." I chucked and took a sip of my water. It slid down my throat, feeling slightly awkward. "But you can't fault a man for flirting with a woman, especially such a desirable one as yourself." Bella was stirring her coffee, her eyes were thoughtful.

"Ah, I see." I looked at her questioningly, but she didn't elaborate.

"You see what?" I asked as our meals were delivered. She had some sort of soup. Bella took a spoonful before answering me.

"You're just a flirt. I see your type all the time when I visit the army base, young soldiers in between deployments love to flirt. I don't see why a young doctor wouldn't do the same." I took a bite of my sandwich as she talked almost absentmindedly. Bella nodded to herself.

"That's quite the theory you have there. I'm sorry that I have to punch a hole in it. You're the first person I've flirted with in years, so I don't consider myself a 'flirt'." She analyzed my words and I took another bite of the vile sandwich.

"I find that hard to believe… you were rather convincing."

"It's not like I said anything that's not true. You're absolutely beautiful and honestly I want to know more about you. All that I know about you is that you volunteer at the hospital, you're head of the hospital board, and you have a dog named Jake. I'm sure there is more to you than that." Bella was back to stirring her coffee. She always seemed to weigh my words before responding.

"There's not much to tell. I work out and I volunteer. What about you Dr. Cullen?" She changed the subject and I let the matter drop. "I've heard from the staff that you fit in seamlessly and that you're a magnificent doctor. What else is happening in your life? Why'd you choose this city of all cities? I glanced at your records when you were first considered. You're… very qualified." I smiled at her description.

"I have two siblings, both younger than me, both married. They live upstate. Our parents died when we were young, but they had excellent life insurance, allowing me to live the way I do and making it so that I could go to a good university. I chose these facilities since the hospital was on the newer side of the spectrum, it is close to my siblings, and you all had a position open." I finished my sandwich while she was only half way through her meal. The food felt like a lead weight constantly shifting in my stomach. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Your Jake decided that it would be a good idea to sit outside my door and whimper until I let him in all this weekend." She looked up at me surprised. "I went down to your house twice, but you weren't in. I was surprised you didn't notice him missing."

"I'm so sorry. Jake normally doesn't stray so much. I'm surprised he went to you though. He normally doesn't like anyone unless they are with me or over the age of sixty. I think you are the first young person excluding me and a few of my friends that he doesn't growl at constantly." Bella took another sip of her soup and I chuckled inwardly at her calling me young. "That silly dog normally just stays inside when I'm gone on the weekends. I'm sorry he bothered you." She ducked her head slightly.

"It was no problem. I actually liked the company. I don't need a lot of sleep, so the nights can feel rather long."

"I'll have to chain him up next time I'm out of town."

"No need. I really did like the company. He didn't do anything other than sleep and snore." Once again she considered my words, trying to read my face for any indications of lying. After a minute she nodded. "I wouldn't mind a repayment though." I grinned even though I felt a bit underhanded. "Have dinner with me at my place this Saturday."

"I'm out of town this weekend. Also as I said earlier I don't date co-workers." She finished her coffee and set the cup down not so softly.

"Monday night then. You don't have to think of it as a date. You could think of it as volunteering to help a lonely man with his boredom."

"I'm sure many of nurses would be willing to help you with your 'boredom'. Why not ask one of them?"

"None of them appeal to me. Yes, some of them are beautiful, none of them are you though." She looked unconvinced as she took the last spoonful of her soup. I motioned for the waitress to bring over the checks. "It's a harmless dinner, Bella. Just a good meal between friends." I started swirling the water in my cup, feeling disheartened. "You can just eat than go back home immediately if you'd like."

"Alright, but if you try something I'll kick your ass." I laughed, but held my hands up in surrender.

"Of course, my house at six, casual wear."

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**And so they get a bit closer... Please review! **


	5. Just a Rumor?

**I'd just like to say thanks to all the guest reviewers I couldn't message back and of course an extra thanks to those reviewers that I could message back!  
**

**Also this chapter is a bit short. For the past three days I wrote on three different stories till 3 in the morning. I'm exhausted, but next month I might be able to start another story for you guys. A Bella/Aro one, possibly.  
**

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**Chapter Five: Just a Rumor?**

Carlisle's POV

My Thursday midnight shift was uneventful. I could smell Bella's scent lingering in the Physical Therapy wing. I figured she must have volunteered there earlier today.

As I finished my midnight shift I saw Bella entering the hospital in casual clothes just as I was leaving. We exchanged pleasantries, but nothing more since I had to pretended to be tired from my shift to keep up appearances.

Not long after I got home Jake was scratching at my door so I let him in, he always seemed to come over when Bella was absent then quickly trot home when she came back. I called the family back in Forks. Edward told me that Esme was coming over for a visit this weekend with her new husband. Apparently he had switched to our lifestyle just for Esme.

The news, although good, depressed me. She had her mate… while I only had my job. I started to sympathize with Edward. It must have been hard to live in a house with three happy couples. On the other hand he never really knew what it was like to have a loving marriage then having it ripped apart.

Maybe I should invite him down here one of these weekends…

The day quickly passed with a few books and I indulged myself by watching Bella complete her evening routine. She was just so beautiful and full of grace… her movements just seemed to hypnotize me.

I had another midnight shift for Friday so I spent most of the day inside. Around five in the evening I heard Bella's car coming up the gravel road. I was a bit surprised. She normally got back at a later time and then I heard her text message ringtone.

_If your horny, Let's do it  
Ride it, My Pony  
My saddle's waiting  
Come and jump on it_

I cringed. I doubted whoever she was texting was just a platonic friend from the sound of that ringtone. My growl surprised me. I had no right to feel possessive, but for some reason I was. Her phone sang those few lines every ten minutes or so promptly followed by the clicking of Bella's fingers on the keyboard. It took everything in me not to run down there and destroy the offending object.

She was listening to classical music as she took a shower. Shortly after I could hear a blow-dryer. From my study I could see her toned body rifling through one of her dressers. She pulled out a red lacey matching pair of thong and bra. After putting it on she continued digging.

I was immensely jealous of whoever she was getting dressed up for. She laid a garter belt and a sheer pair of thigh-high black stockings on her bed. Bella sat at a vanity dresser, curling her hair and putting on makeup as she hummed. I could see in the mirror when she picked up the phone and clicked a few buttons. Instead of playing its usual obnoxious tune whenever she got a text it just light up. Every once and a while she would snicker or shake her head at the new messages.

Once her hair was curled she went out of my view to another side of the room. When she came back she was wearing a red argyle sweater and carrying a black skirt. Bella sat on her bed and buckle the garter belt into place before slowly sliding her stockings on. It was… the single most sexual thing I had ever seen in my existence.

God! Was there ever such a woman so sinfully beautiful?

After putting on the pencil skirt she slid on black heels that looked deadly. She left my view again and the music stopped.

"Jake, you better not bother Dr. Cullen. Am I understood?" The husky barked back in response. "We will see, Mister. Be good while I'm gone."

Her heels clicked as she walked. Her garage door opened and I could faintly see her through the tinted windows, driving away.

Not five minutes later Jake was pawing at my door. He stayed at my feet as I watched two movies before I got ready for my midnight shift. Jake followed me out then started heading back home when he saw I was going towards my car.

The hospital smelled faintly of her again. Her scent was teasing me. Every time I turned a corner a part of me hoped to see her since I could smell her. Then I'd turned a corner and disappointment would hit me when I saw she wasn't there.

Tonight the hospital saw the after math of a drunken brawl at one of the local bars. As I was stitching up one of them I heard my name mentioned amongst the nurses.

"So as I was driving Kyle home since he was feeling sick at school I saw one Dr. Cullen having lunch with one Ms. Swan." The two hens chuckled together.

"Should we warn him about her?" Another female voice chimed in. "God he's so handsome. It would be so unfair if she got her claws into him." They laughed again.

"What would we tell him 'Oh, by the way Dr. Cullen, you shouldn't waste your time on Ms. Swan. She's a kept woman.' He'd just give a 'what the fuck' look and ask us how we knew they were seeing each other."

"I guess you're right. So is Kyle feeling any better?" I blocked out the rest of their conversation as I tried to decipher their words.

A kept woman? I knew what that phrase used to mean, but like many phrases it might have changed as time went on. At least, I really hoped the phrase had changed from back then.

It made sense though. She drove a damn Bugatti Veyron, lived in a house almost as big as mine, her outfit last night… and I don't think she had any job other than head of the hospital board, and I know for a fact that job wouldn't allow her such extravagance.

How did she even get that job? She's not a doctor and from how I've seen the doctors and nurses look at her I doubted she was a prominent person in the community.

The questions just kept stacking up.

* * *

**So what do you think of one of my first twists in this story? A kept woman? Do you believe what the nurses said?**


	6. Midlife Crisis

**Chapter Six: Midlife Crisis  
**

Carlisle's POV

Time just passed too damn slowly. Had it really just been a little over a week since I moved here? The amount of time between now and my date with Bella on Monday gives me too much time to mull over what those nurses said.

As I sat in my study with Jake at my feet and I couldn't get control of my thoughts.

A kept woman…

I knew men still had lovers, but having a kept woman… that was something else entirely. Whoever was doing the keeping would have to have enough money to maintain their own lifestyle and that of their mistress.

I thought the whole practice of having a kept woman went away with the flourishing phase of feminism during the 20th century, especially with how much easier it was for females to make a living on their own in comparison to when I was human.

Bella seemed well spoken and carefree, so I assume whatever man, or I suppose it could be a woman, that was paying her bills wasn't blackmailing her.

At my feet Jake gave a muffled bark while still asleep, dreaming.

All this thinking was doing me no good. For all I knew what the nurses said was just a rumor started by an angry coworker.

I decided that I might as well explore the footpath behind my house that led into the forest. Unfortunately how my schedule was set up I didn't work today. That gave me a whole Saturday to do a lot of nothing.

The path was slightly overgrown, but I easily swatted away any vines or undergrowth that tried to grab me. I walked through it all like they were just spider webs.

Hmm, I wonder what I should serve for our dinner. On one of my longer lonely nights I watched a few hours of Food Network. It all looked simple enough, but the problem is I wouldn't have any idea how it tasted until Bella tried it.

I decided that I'd just have to order something from a fancy restaurant. As I thought about the various restaurants I had passed on my drives around the city my phone went off. I glanced at the caller ID quickly before answering.

"Hello, Alice." I could hear Jasper and Emmett in the background playing a video game almost instantly.

"So Carlisle I just had an interesting vision…" Typical Alice behavior, trying to make us work for her visions. Some things never changed.

"I would assume any glimpse of the future to be an interesting thing considering it is unexplainable by modern science." She huffed and I glanced up through the trees to the sky. There were no stars in sight. "Alright Alice, what was your vision of?"

"It was of you… and a pretty brunette." I instantly perked up, but she didn't elaborate.

"You have my undivided attention. Where was said brunette and I in your vision?" Jasper laughed in the background, entertained by his wife's antics.

"It was a dining room, most likely yours since I saw your father's cross on the wall. So who is this lovely lady?" The path I was on was intersected with another, clearer one. I ignored it, continuing on deeper into the forest as I considered my answer.

"What were we doing in my dining room?"

"Oh no you don't. Turnabout is fair play when it comes to answering questions. I already answered two of yours. It's your turn to answer two of mine." Alice was having too much fun and Emmett spoke up in my defense in the background.

"Come on Alice just let the man know about the vision. If he wants to tell us about a woman he will."

"Fine, you two were just eating and talking about boring hospital stuff. That's all I saw. Oh, she doesn't touch the asparagus at all, just shoves it to the side of her plate so don't get her that. So tell me all about this mystery lady!"

"She's just my neighbor, Alice. Her dog bothered me all weekend while she was away so dinner is just her way of paying me back." It was the truth, just worded to make it sound like it was Bella's idea. I wasn't quite ready to let my family in on whatever it was that was possibly happening between Bella and me.

"Oh come on, Dad!" She dragged out the last word. "Since when did you let women coerce you into a date? You've been subtly letting down the ladies before I was even born, so don't give me such a feeble excuse."

"Really Alice, it's just a dinner between neighbors." I didn't give her a second to respond, segueing into the next subject. "So how are Esme and Robert doing?" Alice let out an exasperated sigh on the other side of the line.

"Fine, I'll stop asking after the mystery woman. Esme and Robert are the same as ever. They are just stopping by before making their way to the Denali's place. They're out right now with Edward getting some materials to repair one of the walls Emmett broke when he was goofing around with Jasper."

"I wasn't goofing around! Jasper was clearly cheating-"

"Shut up, the both of you. I'm trying to talk to Carlisle, not hear another one of your endless arguments! Anyways, both of you cheated so you shouldn't whine when you find out your opponent is doing the same thing as you are."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" I could practically see Jasper's pout, trying to convince her to side with them. She ignored him and I laughed.

"As I was saying, Carlisle, they're doing fine. We're all doing fine. How are you?"

"I'm fine." In the background I heard Emmett and Jasper laugh.

"I hear the car pulling up the driveway. Oh, I almost forgot Edward bought some tickets for an opera in Seattle for the Saturday after the next at seven. You in?"

"Sure, sounds like fun. It will be good to see you all." I kept the sadness from creeping into my voice. I really was missing them.

"Super. Love you, Dad."

"Love you too. Tell Esme… I said hi."

"Will do." I heard the click of the line going dead so I put my phone back in my pocket.

With a sigh I sat in the dirt and leaned against a tree. Just thinking about Esme made me feel physically and emotionally weak. Living by myself had sounded like a good idea at the time, but I was unbearably lonely.

If I didn't have that silly dog visiting me and getting a show from Bella almost every day I probably would have gone back to live with my family after the first three days.

My head fell back against the trunk of the tree.

What the hell am I even doing with my existence? I laughed hollowly. I felt like I was having a midlife crisis.

This immortality was useless without someone by my side.

* * *

**Poor Carlisle, I wonder which human can make him happy.**

**For the readers of my other story The Obsessed, I might not be able to update on time do to annoying circumstances out of my control.  
**


	7. Shake on It

**Chapter Seven: Shake on It**

Carlisle's POV

When I got back to my house… not home, it was almost five in the evening and my Saturday was just depressing. I decided to dedicate the rest of the day to making my house looked lived in and to make the arrangements for my dinner with Bella. When I first unpacked I arranged everything the way Esme would, in a functional, 'everything has its place' sort of way. I hadn't used most of the furniture. The whole house looked untouched, like a window display. The pillows on the couch were neatly propped up on the corners. The plush rug was completely clean, with no footstep indents. I noticed that a few of the lamps were missing light bulbs. The paintings on the walls looked like the ones at the hospital. This was definitely no home, this was a house.

I cringed. This house was so bland. I wanted to splash paint on the beige walls and scuff up the wooden floors.

The only part of the house that looked lived in was my study. There were books scattered everywhere, husky hair on the ground, my leather chair was already wearing out, and the trashcan was overflowing with junk mail.

I sat in said leather chair and opened up my laptop. It didn't take me long to find a store that catered what I needed. I placed an order for a few different types of meals. I remembered she had soup at the deli so I got three different flavors of that, some different sides, a few cakes, an order of poached salmon, two orders of steak (mine was ordered rare so at least I could get a little sustenance from it), some salad, and a few random hors d'oeuvres. They all had simple directions of keep at this temperature or heat at this temperature for this amount of time.

I had it all set up so that they would arrive a bit before Bella even got home.

I'd have to pick up some random bottles of wine and drinks next time I went into the city. The house was already stocked with dishes and silverware so I just had to give them a quick washing before then.

I faintly heard the crunching of gravel coming down the road. I ran to the front room, surprised that she was getting back so early. I was disappointed to see that it was just a dinged up old truck. The man stopped in her driveway and pulled out a lawnmower. I stared a bit longer, disappointed in both myself for getting so excited over nothing and for it not being Bella. Jake ran out of my house and to the limping man.

"Hey boy! What were you doing all the way up there?" The limping man said once the dog started jumping on him. "You know the drill, Jake. Go hide in the house. I don't want to hear you barking at me the whole time." The husky ran into Bella's house as the man started the lawnmower.

I sighed and walked away from the window. If I hadn't been so excited at the prospect of seeing Bella again I would have noticed the difference between the soft purr of her car and the strangled sound his truck emitted.

* * *

It was finally the night of our date and I was more nervous than when I changed Edward. All the food was delivered, the wine was breathing, and the dining room was set up.

I heard her car stereo before hearing her tires and heartbeat.

_Pour some sugar on me, ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me, c'mon fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me, I can't get enough  
I'm hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet, yeah_

As usual I watched from my study. She was mouthing the words, body slightly swaying back and forth. When she turned the car off in the garage she started singing.

_You got the peaches, I got the cream  
Sweet to taste, saccharine  
'Cause I'm hot, so hot, sticky sweet  
(Hot!)  
From my head, my head to my feet  
(Head!)  
Do you take sugar, one lump or two_?

For a brief moment I wondered if she knew I could hear her singing all those songs, the way she made them sound so sinfully seductive. I brushed aside the idea. It was highly unlikely that she did, and by the way she shied away from my advances I doubted that she was trying to tempt me with the ideas behind her songs.

"Get it together Bella, it's just dinner." I was glad to hear that I wasn't the only one nervous. Every once and a while she flitted past an open window, moving at a fast pace. I saw her lay out a few outfits, looking between them with a discerning eye. "Too formal, too slutty, close enough." She picked a simple pair of jeans and blue long sleeved shirt that's front dipped just enough to show a bit of the lace on the cream colored undershirt.

At exactly six on the dot I heard Bella knocking on the front door.

"Hello Bella." I said as I opened the door. She scanned the area before answering.

"Dr. Cullen." She nodded in my direction. "It's nice to see you again."

"As I've said before please call me Carlisle and it's more than nice to see you again." Bella ignored my comment as she walked in and shrugged off her jacket. She handed it to me and I hung it up on a coat rack.

"I wanted to get you a house warming gift, but I had no idea what you would like." She hadn't looked at me yet, eyes still ghosting around the rooms as we walked.

"Well you're already warming my house so there is no need for you to get me anything." I led her to the kitchen. "I'm not much of a cook and I don't know your taste preferences so I just ordered a bit of everything."

"If you couldn't cook, Carlisle, we could have just gone out to eat."

"But then I wouldn't have you all to myself." I said offhandedly as she appraised the different dishes. She turned towards me with an annoyed look on her face.

"Carlisle, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so will you please just stop all your school yard flirting?" She had her hands on her hips. "They make things awkward for me." She let out a little sigh when she saw the defeated look on my face. "I'm not trying to be mean, but I think we could actually be friends if you just stopped all your flirting."

"If that is what you want I can't help but oblige your wishes." I held out my hand. "Friends?"

"Friends." She shook my hand, and I couldn't help thinking that there was an unnatural pull between us. "Now did you get this food from Cantarellie's?" I nodded, curious. Her face lit up. "I could tell from the scent. Cantarellie's is my favorite restaurant in the city."

* * *

**Song: Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard. **

**So they're friends. Progress or a step backwards? Send me your thoughts in the form of reviews!  
**


	8. Wine and Dine

**Chapter Eight: Wine and Dine**

Carlisle's POV

Our dinner… was peaceful. We exchanged a bit of banter over the hospital staff and didn't touch upon any heavier subjects. Half way through our meal Jake had come pawing at the door so I let him in. He was laying under the dining room table, waiting to catch any scraps that fell. Having him here was quite convenient since I could easily just slip him some of my food.

I was pouring myself some more wine at the table, just for show, as she cut a slice of carrot cake in the kitchen. Bella was humming happily.

"Would you like another glass?"

"Yes, please, that red is surprisingly good. Where did you get it?"

"It's one I brought with me from back home." I lied. I had actually special ordered from overseas under Alice's advisement. "I'm not much of a wine drinker. You can have the rest when you go home, if you'd like."

"I might have to take you up on that offer. Ah, Carlisle, you didn't tell me you had escargot! I would have eaten that first if I had seen it." She walked in carrying a plate with cake in one hand and a bowl of cooked snails in the other.

"You can take those home too. I never saw the appeal behind eating snails before." She sat down and took a sip of wine.

"You obviously just haven't had any good ones before." Bella used a dainty fork to extract the meat from its shell. She practically melted in her seat when she tasted it. I grinned until she let out a little moan of pleasure. Her eyes were closed as she savored the flavor. She really was too beautiful for her own good. Her brown eyes popped open. "You have to try one. Of all the places I've eaten at Cantarellie's always had the best escargot." She pushed the bowl and tiny fork my way.

"I don't think I could deny you anything." I mumbled under my breath as I took the offered dish. The little creature looked slimy when I pulled it out of its shell. The things I do for this woman… I pretended to contemplate its taste. "It's not bad, but it's not something I'd order for myself." I slid the food back her way.

"Fair enough. At least you actually tried it. I'm sure most people wouldn't." She ate another snail and smiled brightly.

"It's good to see someone truly enjoying their meal. Most of the time when people eat it's just mechanical, just another obstacle in the day until they can go do what they really want to." She hummed in approval as she ate another before responding.

"I agree. Personally I absolutely love food, and I love trying new foods of all sorts. I love the whole process of cooking and then finally getting to eat my creations." Bella ate another. "I've tried to make escargot a few times, but it always ends up all rubbery and tasting off." She shrugged. I took a sip of my wine, enjoying watching her happiness flourish.

"Have you ever considered a career as a chef?" I asked and Bella put down the dainty fork.

"I've thought about it, but I don't have the time for that. I spend Monday through Wednesday helping injured vets at the army base and on Thursday and Friday I volunteer at the hospital. My schedule tends to be packed. Also I feel like I'd get sad if I had to do something I loved on demand." She shrugged and I couldn't stop my curiosity from asking my next question.

"What about your Saturdays and Sundays?" Bella chewed on her bottom lip for a second before covering up the action by drinking a bit of wine.

"Those are packed too. So why did you decide to be a doctor, Carlisle?" She changed the flow of the conversation.

"I decided that if I was going to be on this earth I might as well spend my years helping." We fell into silence for a few minutes as she ate her slice of cake. It was a comfortable silence and I think the wine was finally letting Bella really relax. I swirled my wine in its glass, just watching her.

"That's noble. I try to live my life the same way."

"You do. This can be a lonely life though. It gives me little time for a personal life." I laughed hollowly. "Actually this whole house was pre-furnished. I hate how it looks. It's so boring. I want to redo it, but I don't have an eye for decorating. I wouldn't even know where to start."

"One of my friends is a designer." Bella pulled out a phone that wasn't her usual blackberry. It was the one that always spewed that dirty tune whenever she got a message. She was looking through her contacts while her other hand fidgeted with her necklace. "Dhalia actually designed most of the rooms in my house."

"Forgive me, Bella, but I thought you had a blackberry." She looked up slightly startled at my observation.

"I do have a blackberry. That is my business phone; this is the phone that is for personal uses."

"Am I lucky enough to get a spot in this phone?" I tried to put on my most charming smile and I was rewarded with a blush.

"I suppose. What's your number? I'll send you a text so that you have mine." I rambled off the numbers. She clicked a few buttons and I heard my phone vibrate upstairs. "It's sent. I also sent you Dhalia's work number. She's really good. I'm sure you'll be happy if you decide to get a few of your rooms redone."

"I'll hold you to your word." I said jokingly. "After my shift tomorrow I'll call her for an appointment."

"I'm glad. She lost her husband to the war so I'm always happy to give her more business."

"Are you always thinking of how to help others?"

"I'm here visiting your lonely ass, aren't I?" I was surprised by her carefree tone.

"Very true." I grinned. There was another silent moment where we just stared at each other. Bella stood, carrying her plates and silverware. I followed suit and grabbed my own before we walked into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help with the dishes?" She cocked her head slightly to the side.

"You've already done more than enough when it comes to helping this lonely man." We placed the dishes in the sink. I grabbed the cork to the wine bottle and walked back into the dining room. I was dreading seeing her go, but I knew her staying here any longer would be pushing her boundaries. Jake followed us to the front door. I placed the bottle on a side table and helped her put her coat back on.

"This was really nice, Carlisle." Bella placed her hand on my arm. It was an oddly affectionate action coming from her. Her hand lingered before dropping to her side. The silence was back as she looked up at me with those chocolate eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I knew it would make her uncomfortable and possibly make her push me away emotionally. I handed her the half full wine bottle, breaking the moment.

"You have my number, Bella. Call me anytime whether it's to ask for a cup of sugar or to go with you to your favorite restaurant. I'm pretty much available anytime, when it comes to you at least." I hadn't meant to say the last sentence, but it slipped out. She smiled brightly before nodding at me and leaving.

* * *

**So this story is definitely going to have more than 20 chapters. Is that all right with you guys? **


	9. It's a Trap!

**Chapter Nine: It's a Trap!**

Carlisle's POV

Alice rang me up on Wednesday night.

"So how was your date, Carlisle?"

"It wasn't a date, Alice. I already told you that." I rolled my eyes at her even though she couldn't see me.

"So you say, but I had a few more visions after I called you. The way you two were looking at each other…" She let the sentence linger off.

"I'm sure that's just wishful thinking on your part."

"I don't know daddy-o," she knew I hated that mid 60's slang, "Edward saw some of my visions and he agrees too."

"Wishful thinking on both your parts than."

"Maybe you're right, considering I had another vision where there was another woman in your house. When did you become such a player?" I sighed and could hear the rest of the family laughing in the background. There were no secrets in our family.

"She's a decorator. My house looks dreary so I hired her." Alice let out a strangled little cry.

"Dad! If you wanted your house redone you could have called me! I would have done it for free! You know I love decorating!"

"I know you love decorating, and you have an eternity to do so. Anyways it's good to stimulate the local economy. It's not like me dropping a few grand on house improvements is going to put a major dent in my wallet, but I'm sure it will be helpful for the people who I hire and purchase from." She started to complain again, but someone took the phone from her.

"Hey, how is everything going on your side of the state?" Edward asked.

"It was lonely at first, but I'm getting into the swing of things. You should come down this weekend. I'm sure you'll be happy to get away from all those couples." I could tell he was considering the proposal.

"Sure, Dad. When are you working?"

"I have the night shift on Friday, no work on Saturday, and then another night shift on Sunday."

"I'll see you Saturday morning then. Till then bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and went to my study. Bella would be arriving home any second.

I noticed on Mondays, Tuesday, and Wednesday she drove a van rather than her sports car when she went out. On Monday I glanced her dropping off a pregnant woman and her husband at the hospital for their appointment. She was… amazing, always helping those less fortunate. Was there ever a kinder soul?

What those nurses said still haunted me though. A kept woman… I just couldn't accept that. There is no way someone as sweet as her would… would what? Sleep with a man for money. I realized I knew next to nothing about Bella. She wasn't very forthcoming about her life, yet I still felt like I knew her.

Her garage opened and Bella pulled in with her van. She hadn't utilized my number yet, but I wasn't worried.

Her house rumbled to life and Frank Sinatra started crooning through the various speakers. She flitted upstairs and changed from her shirt and jeans to a man's dress shirt. I was immensely jealous of whoever's shirt she was wearing.

That feeling faded a bit when I saw her back downstairs carrying my bottle of wine and a stack of books. I laughed a bit when I saw her use her teeth to pull the cork out. She was on her back porch laying on a chaise lounge with a blanket.

"Damn it." Bella whispered. "Fuck it. I'm the only one drinking this anyways." She took a swig from the bottle then opened a book. That content smile was back on her face.

* * *

I glanced Bella in the hospital's halls on Thursday morning. One of the female doctors was trying to flirt with me. I sidestepped her advances easily.

Before my lunch break I sought Bella out in hopes that she would invite me to the deli with her. I timed it perfectly so that we were both walking out the front lobby at the same time. Admittedly so it was a bit creepy, but I didn't care.

"Hey Bella." I waved before pulling on my jacket. It was drizzling so I pulled out my umbrella. I noticed she didn't have one. "Would you like to borrow my umbrella?"

"Hi Carlisle," her brows furrowed slightly, "I can't deprive you of your umbrella just because I stupidly forgot mine. We live in Washington; I should have my umbrella with me all the time." She shrugged and pulled up the hood of her jacket. I followed her out, sheltering us both under my umbrella.

"At least let me walk you to your car then." She looked indecisive. "Don't worry my lunch break is long enough to take a trip to your car and have plenty of time to eat." Bella glanced up at me then nodded slightly. She was playing with the swan pendent of her necklace again. "So where are you heading?" It was a bit of a dirty play considering if she didn't say lunch we would both know she was lying considering she told me she always went there every Thursday at noon. If she does say she's going to lunch and doesn't invite me it would make things awkward. She looked at me with a contemplative look on her face before breaking out into a grin.

"You dirty trickster." Her voice was light and I couldn't help but smiling at her tone. She had figured out my trap. "Come on we'll take my car. I never thought you'd be the underhanded type, Carlisle." Even though she was teasing me I could hear the scolding edge to her tone.

"Sorry. You seem to bring out a side of me that I don't recognize." I did feel a twinge of guilt. It wasn't right to manipulate her of all people, but when it comes to Bella I can't help but taking every opportunity I can get to spend time with her.

I walked her over to her side of the car and she dug through her purse. When she clicked the unlock button I opened the door for her.

"Such a gent." Bella mumbled sarcastically as she sat down. I held back a laugh and went to the other side of the car and took my seat. She threw her purse in the backseat before starting the car. Her stereo immediately pumped out a song.

_Bugging out, getting high  
I wanna take a chance  
Deep in your underpants_

She slapped a button on the center council and blushed. I chuckled.

"Really? It would start playing exactly at the dirty part." She was mumbling to herself again. The song changed and she turned it down so it was in the background.

_Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,  
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day._

She hummed along as she drove. I was happy to see that she was comfortable enough around me that she didn't feel the need to fill the time with idle chatter.

I'd have to tell Rosalie about this Bugatti, I'm sure she'd love to have one… perhaps it would be a good Christmas gift?

The rain had let up by the time we reached the deli. Bella parallel parked flawlessly and paid the parking meter before I could even get to the sidewalk. I brought my umbrella with me just in case.

We grabbed the same table we sat at last time and the waitress came over almost immediately. Bella ordered the same soup as last time and I arbitrarily chose a sandwich.

"I had lunch with Dhalia yesterday." Bella said after we sat in silence for a few minutes. "I asked her if you two had decided on any sort of theme or color scheme for your house. She said something about doctor patient confidentiality and wouldn't tell me anymore." We both laughed.

"I told her my preferences and she asked a lot of random questions to get a better idea of how she should redo the rooms. I really don't know anything about interior design so I'm leaving it completely in her hands. I've hired her and her associates to redo the whole first floor. If I like her work I'll let her do the other two as well."

"Well big spender, I'm glad I sent her your way. In this economy her field of work isn't the most flourishing." Our meals were delivered and we dug in, albeit I did so reluctantly. There was somethings I'd never get used to and one of those things was the unnatural feeling of human food going down my throat.

"I'm glad to be of use. Anyways it's good to have some life in that house. Actually one of my college friends is coming up for the weekend." I said in hopes of keeping the conversation alive. "You should stop by for a beer or just to help me prove to him that I've actually made friends." I laughed at my self-deprecating joke and she grinned weakly, probably sensing how forced it sounded.

"I think I'll pass this time, Carlisle." Her grin widened and I think she was enjoying how awkward I was feeling. We ate more of our meals, keeping in mind that I was still on the hospital's time. "So the Christmas charity gala is on the 23rd. Will you be in attendance, or are you going home to spend the holidays with family?" Bella was looking down at her food as she asked.

"I'm not leaving to see my siblings till Christmas Eve so I'll be there." I felt a stab of rejection when I saw a look of disappointment flutter across her expression, before she put on a fake smile.

"Good. It will be interesting seeing you in a tux. I'm sure all the nurses will fawn on you even more than they do now." Her tone was teasing, but I could still see the tension in her shoulders.

"Bella, you almost sound worried that one of them will snatch me up." I mocked her playfully and her shoulders relaxed.

"You know that's not what I was trying to say." She laughed and the waitress put down our two bills. Her laughter died down into a sigh. "You really do need a girlfriend though, Carlisle." Her voice was completely serious. "I hate to think of you alone in that big house every day." Did she truly not understand that she was the only one I wanted to be with? I felt a part of me crack on the inside.

"Aren't you in the same predicament? I haven't seen anyone come down our street except for you, the mailman, and your groundskeeper." I hadn't meant for my voice to have an edge to it, but something about her suggesting I see anyone but her hurt. Her fingers were back at her throat again, playing with her pendant.

"We should be getting back. I wouldn't want to make you late." We still remained seated.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to-" She reached across the table and laid her hand on my clenched fist. I immediately silenced.

"It's okay. It's not like you said anything that's not true."

We were both in our own heads during the drive back.

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**Songs: Bomb This Track by Mindless Self Indulgence and Daydream in Blue by I Monster. Next chapter will start up where this one left off.  
**

**Review please!  
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	10. Destructive Cycle

**Chapter 10: Destructive Cycle**

Carlisle's POV

We parted ways as we entered Halterman General Hospital. I watched her go to the Physical Therapy wing before heading to one of my own appointments.

"Dr. Cullen and Ms. Swan came in together." One of the nurses whispered to one of the cleaning crew right after I passed them. "Poor sap. There's no way he can compete with _that _man's money." The nursed huffed and I wanted flip over a desk. "Such a waste. He's so sexy." The cleaning lady agreed and I refrained from growling.

Money was nothing to me and I doubt that even if Bella was a 'kept woman' that money would be her reason for sticking with him. Even if it was the reason surely this man didn't have 1/1000 of the money I've accumulated over my long afterlife.

I had more questions than answers.

I could follow her on one of her weekend fieldtrips/escapades/outings, but I already felt like me watching her from my study was too much. If I took it to the level of following her I don't know if my obsession with her would ever stop escalating into insanity.

Everyone in the hospital seemed to know more about her than I did. I long ago noticed how most of them averted their eyes when she walked by, some openly glared, while others were sickeningly sweet to her. The only people who seemed to treat her normally were those people she was helping in physical therapy.

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By the time I got back to the house Bella's home was blaring with music. A loud, fast dubstep song was blasting out of her speakers. It had an angry edge to it and as I parked I realized that she had it on repeat. I glanced down the slope and was surprised when I saw that she was breaking her usual routine. Instead of swimming she had her kickboxing gear on and was pulverizing her punching bag.

Her body was completely doused in sweat and her skin was tinged bright red. Bella looked like she was about to collapse from exhaustion, but she kept hitting that bag with kicks and punches. I was shocked and frozen on the spot by the look on her face. She had a devastating mixture of anger and sadness marring her beautiful face.

It physically hurt me to see those emotions coming from her.

Bella suddenly collapsed and my body lurched forward wanting to go to her. The only thing keeping her from falling was her grip on the top of the bag. My years of abstaining from human blood had fortified my self control to unworldly levels, but even so I was so close to running to her.

"Damn it, Bella!" Her voice was hoarse and I could only faintly hear her over the music. "Get up and work through it." She grunted as she pulled herself into an upright position. I could see her muscles straining and quivering with the effort she was putting in. "I won't have you pussing out on me!" Her words were punctuated by hits and kicks as she resumed her assault on the bag.

The cycle of her hitting the bag furiously, collapsing against it, then getting back up after cussing herself out repeated and I was struck with the realization that she could have been at this for hours.

I ran upstairs to my study, indecisive on what to do. She went through another cycle before I made a decision. My phone was out in a flash and I was dialing her number. I could see the small device on the bench right next to her. It lit up and I could hear a generic ringtone coming from it.

Bella looked up from her hunched position against the bag.

"You can't be fucking serious." She laughed humorously as she pulled off her sparring gloves. A few of her knuckles were bleeding while the other ones were bruised. She looked at the caller ID before clicking a button as she sat on the ground. My phone went to her voicemail.

I was hurt by her actions, but at least my call had its intended effect. She had stopped her destructive pattern of fighting, collapsing, then cursing at herself.

Her eyes were closed and with one hand she groped blindly at the mini fridge, pulling out a few water bottles. She poured the first bottle over her head in silence then drank half of the second one before pouring the other half on her left hand. Bella opened the third with her left hand and poured it onto her right hand. She let out a hiss of pain as the cold liquid came in contact with her knuckles.

"Real smooth dumb ass." I could see her sprawl out on the ground, ignoring the puddle of water under her. She stayed like that until her breathing evened out. Her arms were still shaking when she used the bench to stand back up.

Bella grabbed her phone then retreated into a part of the house that was out of my line of sight.

I practically collapsed into my seat. I felt like my actual age for the first time. With a slow motion I twisted my chair around so its back was to the window before I let my head rest on the desk. I tried taking some calming breaths, but they were ineffective.

My phone went off making me jump in my seat and I heard the sputter of wood cracking. I grabbed the smart phone and put it to my ear.

"Hey Carlisle." I froze in my seat and my breath caught in my throat.

"Oh, hey Bella. How can I be of service on this lovely day?" I was surprised by how happy my voice sounded, especially since it contrasted so much with my troubled emotions.

"I was being stupid and I hurt my hand. I was wondering if you were home and could come down here to have a look at it. If you're not home I can just drive myself to the hospital." Her tone sounded mechanical, lifeless.

"No, I'm at my house. Give me a minute to get changed and I'll head to your place." She sighed in relief.

"Thank you so much. The backdoor is unlocked and you'll be able to see where I'm sitting from there."

"No problem. I'll be there in a second."

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**Classes have started back up so I really need you guys to remind me and inspire me to write! Time is... hard to find.  
**

**What has got Bella so worked up? What will happen when Carlisle heads over to her house? So many questions... **


	11. Matching Emotional Chaos: Hers

**Chapter 11: Matching Emotional Chaos: Hers**

Carlisle's POV

I covered my face with my hands and leaned back in my chair, trying to compose myself. From the kitchen I grabbed a first aid kit that I had just for show before cutting through the lawn to her house.

As she said, the door was unlocked. I could hear her heartbeat and it was still a bit elevated. Bella was sitting on the counter in her kitchen, eyes downcast on her hands. She was holding a bag of frozen peas to her right hand's knuckles.

She hadn't heard me yet so I glanced at my surroundings as I walked down the hall towards her. To my left through a half opened door I spotted row after row of bookcases. She had a complete set of _Encyclopedia Britannica_. On one of the tables there was a whole stack on physical therapy techniques and the effects of posttraumatic stress disorder. The door in the hall to my right was closed. The hall had various paintings of all different styles.

Bella gave me a faint smile when I entered the kitchen. The whole kitchen had stainless steel machines and the counters were a black marble with veins of white and gold.

"Nice place. I see why you referred me to Dhalia." I tried to break the ice and she gave me a genuine smile.

"Thanks." Bella removed the frozen peas from her hand and I immediately went into 'doctor mode'.

"Can you make a fist?" She tried, but before she could clench her whole body tensed up. "Don't force yourself." I gently lifted her hand and probed the joints of her fingers lightly.

"Sorry you have to see me like this, Carlisle." I glanced at her attire subtly. She was only wearing a sports bra and a pair of tight black capris. Unknown to her I had seen her in much less so I hadn't even notice her state of undress. Her eye makeup was slightly smeared and I could clearly tell that she had been crying now that I was closer to her. "I was too tired to go upstairs to get a change of clothes. I think I used the last of my energy lifting myself up onto the countertop." She chuckled weakly.

"I'm a doctor, Bella. I'm used to seeing people in all different states. At least you're not a ninety year old man who needs a prostate check." I felt proud of myself when she laughed heartily. "I'm pretty sure you didn't break anything, but if it swells up anymore you might want to get it x-rayed. You should take some ibuprofen. It should help with the tenderness and swelling." I paused. "You're shaking, Bella. Is anything else wrong?"

"I'm coming off my adrenalin high and I'm still covered in sweat." She bit her lower lip. "Can I impose on you a bit more?"

"You're not imposing on me in the least. I'm a doctor. I live to help, so how can I help you?" She licked her lips and I could tell she was dehydrated. It only helped confirm my fear that she had started assaulting that punching bag long before I had gotten back from work.

"I can barely lift my arms. Can you hand me two Motrins and a glass of orange juice? The Motrin is in the top cabinet to the left next to the fridge and there should be some clean glasses in the dishwasher." I nodded and went about doing her request. I easily found the Motrin. The cabinet also had a few different types of vitamins and some heartworm pills for Jake. Her fridge's top shelf was dedicated to various types of alcohol, half a gallon of milk, and a glass pitcher of orange juice. The second shelf was all fruits and vegetables. The rest of the fridge had random meals in different states of cooking.

"Thanks." She swallowed the pills and downed the whole glass of orange. I poured her some more and she drank half of it before setting the glass down with a loud clack. She was still shaking. I put my hand on her forehead, gauging her temperature. She cringed under my cold touch.

"You're running a little warm."

"Yeah, my emotions tend to dictate my temperature." Bella looked up at me with those brown eyes of her. "I'm pretty sure I have a hoodie hanging by the front door. Can you please get it for me?" Her house was easy to navigate and I found it quickly. "Thank you, Carlisle. I hate that you have to see me this weak." She said as I helped her put on the plushy coat.

"Nonsense, weakness is part of being human. We all have our moments of feebleness. I think it is sad that in this society that natural weaknesses we all suffer from are looked down upon and hidden." Bella remained silent, taking a sip of her orange juice and not meeting my eyes. "Bella what if one of your wounded veterans said that they hated when you saw them at one of their low points. What would you say to them?" When her eyes met mine they were blazing.

"That's different. Those soldiers couldn't help that someone decided to plant a bomb in the middle of a dirt road, causing him to lose a limb through no fault of their own. I did this to myself. I didn't have to push myself so hard, but I let my emotions take me over and now my muscles are screaming at me and little needles puncture bone deep every time I take a breath too deeply." She let out a huff of warm air and I could hear how fast her heart was racing again.

"Please calm down, Bella. I'm only trying to help."

"I'm sorry-"

"There's no need for sorry. Let me help you to a chair or couch. You sitting stiff as a board on this counter is probably not helping."

"My living room is right through there."

"Do you want me to carry you or can you get there on your own?"

"I think I can make it there if you help me off the counter." Effortlessly I picked her up by her hips and her breath hitched. We were only an inch apart as her feet touched the ground. My hands lingered on her hips before I pulled myself away. She was holding onto one of my arms for support.

"Are you sure you don't need me to carry you?" I joked with an undertone of doubt.

"I've worked through worse pain than this, Carlisle." She let go of my arm and led me to the living room with measured steps. When she was comfortably situated on a couch I went back in the kitchen to get her glass of orange juice and cell phone. Bella snuggled deeper into the couch. I could see fresh bruises on her shins, elbows, and knees from when she was attacking the punching bag.

Jake was curled up on a chair in the corner, completely zonked out. I could already see Bella beginning to get sleepy. The crash from having an adrenalin high was hitting her hard.

"Blanket?" I asked and she weakly pointed towards a chest. I pulled out a quilt and draped it over her. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, I should be good from here though I'm pretty sure I won't be making it to the hospital for my usual volunteering so don't get worried if you don't see me." I was surprised by how cute she looked wrapped up in the quilt as she yawned. "This really means a lot to me, Carlisle. Thanks again."

"No problem, Bella. I'm always happy to help you. If you need anything don't hesitate to call."

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**I really like this chapter. What do you guys think? Was it kinda cute?  
**

**Are you guys chill with my weekly updates, 'cause as a reader I'd rather have chapters consistently than sporadically. Also this way I have deadlines pushing me to write.  
**

**Sooo... I let out a new story called Natural Order! Check it out! It already has a few chapters out!  
**


	12. Matching Emotional Chaos: His

**Chapter 12: Matching Emotional Chaos: His**

Carlisle's POV

True to her word Bella did not go to the hospital on Friday. I had the night shift so I spent most of my day reading and idly listening to her. Around five she started really moving around and I sighed. She was getting ready to do what ever it was that she did every weekend. At least this time she didn't get really dressed up.

My shift went by quickly and I got back to my house a little after sunrise, Bella wasn't back. My phone went off and I answered it.

"Hey what street do you live on again? I'm by the hospital if you want to just give me directions from there." Edward asked from the other end of the line. I had completely forgotten that he was coming for a visit. I gave him directions and not ten minutes later he was knocking on my door.

"How much over were you driving than the speed limit? It normally takes me half an hour to get from the hospital to here, and that's when I'm already speeding." I asked in a false scolding tone. He just laughed.

"I wasn't going too fast, but I may have been in the triple digits." Edward twirled his key ring on one of his fingers and looked at my house. "Not bad. I don't see why you want to get this place redecorated. That will just cause an invasion of privacy when all those people stream in here."

"I have my reasons." As we walked deeper into the house his nose crinkled.

"What's that smell?" I took a whiff of the air and immediately identified it as Bella's scent. Edward groaned. "She smells absolutely divine, Carlisle." His eyes were black and I growled at him. Black met black. He looked hungry, yet incredulous. "I'm not going to hurt her, Dad."

"Good." My voice was gruff and both of our eyes remained black.

"Just don't ever get us in a confined space and I'm sure she'll be fine." My hands flexed into fists and I restrained myself from attacking. A few minutes passed and his eyes faded back to gold while mine remained black. He was looking at me confused. "Is Bella the one from Alice's date visions?" I growled even louder. He was a threat to Bella, to _my _Bella. Edward's eyebrows shot up. "I'm not going to hurt her." He restated and held his hands up in surrender. "You know me Carlisle."

My rigid stance slowly relaxed. I let out a sigh and rolled my shoulders, trying to rid them of their last bits of tension.

"Yes, she's the woman I had dinner with and don't even think about trying to track her she's gone." An unbidden image of Bella pulling out of her garage in her Bugatti Veyron came to mind. His head flashed in the direction of Bella's house then back to me. I was immediately back on edge.

"I'm not going to hunt her. I have more control than that." His hands were still up in surrender. "I've never seen you act this way before." Edward paused in contemplation. "The only time I've seen something similar is when you changed Emmett." It was my turn to be confused. "You referred to her as 'my Bella'. Once Emmett became a vampire, even before he knew Rose's name he referred to her as 'mine'." He let me mull over his words. I wanted to accept what he was implying, but then I remembered how she always reacted to me, always rejected me. "She's a human. If she is your mate the bond is probably weaker." I continued pondering the possibility of her being my mate. "I don't know if she's your mate. I could be completely wrong. It's just a thought you should seriously consider." Edward's hands dropped back to his side. His eyes were gold and his posture wasn't defensive so I relaxed again. "I have news about Esme." The mood of the room completely changed.

"Good news or bad news?"

"Depends on your perspective."

"Well don't drag it out."

"Esme and Robert decided to start their own coven, their own family." I sat on a chair and leaned my elbows against my knees as my head rested in my hands.

"That's… good, good for them. Are they going to change someone or have they met another vampire?" Esme, I knew she left me behind, but I didn't think she'd leave the rest of the family too. How could she do this to them? I understand why she didn't talk to me, but to create a whole new family? Did she even think about how they'd feel about that?

"It's not like that, Dad. She's not replacing us, just having another kid. She asked our permission. He's an 18 year old with no family or friends. He's a good kid. Esme and Robert are the only people who were ever nice to him in the town they live in. He has lung cancer."

"Non-small cell or small cell lung cancer?" I asked mechanically still stunned by his news.

"Small cell, he's getting close to death. Esme already loves him like a son."

"Why are you telling me this?" I stood up and started pacing. This is not what I needed to hear right now, or ever. It already hurt enough knowing she was with someone else, but now she's building up a whole new world and life without me.

"She wanted me to tell you, said that you deserved to know."

"So I deserve to know this, but I didn't deserve to know that she was leaving me?" Edward cringed as my whisper warped into a shout.

"You know that's not how it happened." He was trying to placate me, but I wasn't having any of that! First he threatens Bella's wellbeing then he drops this on me!

"I gave her a kiss on the cheek because she said she was going hunting with Alice and Jasper then she never came back! That was the last time I saw her, Edward. We haven't even spoken since then!" I was growling and I just couldn't find an outlet for all my emotions. Edward had his hands in his pockets and was looking at the ground. He had no idea how to help, but that didn't stop me from continuing my tirade. "Do you know what the last thing she said to me?" He remained silent. "She said she loved me! Then she just left!" I sunk to the ground feeling my anger dissipating and despair replacing it. I could feel the tearless sobs starting to rack through my body. "We were together for over 80 years and she didn't think I deserved a good bye let alone an explanation!"

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**So yeah, Carlisle is still hurtin' from Esme's betrayal. You know what to do. **

******Are you guys chill with my weekly updates, 'cause I'd rather have chapters consistently than sporadically. Also this way I have deadlines pushing me to write.**

******Sidenote: I released an Aro one-shot.  
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******Review please!  
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	13. Thank the Lord Above

**Chapter Thirteen: Thank the Lord Above**

Carlisle's POV

It took about an hour for my sobs to subside. One of the bad things about being a vampire is that when we are hurt there is no way to forget or at least have time dull the pain. Even the slightest reminder could set off our minds, playing the exact moment we were hurt in perfect clarity over and over again.

I looked up suddenly remembering that there was a world beyond my own thoughts. Edward was sitting beside me. He was picking at his nails and had a sad look on his face. I chuckled. He looked like an awkward fourteen year old.

"Hey, not nice. Not all of us were lucky enough to be changed in our prime!" He stood and offered me a hand to help me up. I accepted it happily.

"I definitely past my prime when I was changed, Edward. I was already starting to form a gut like my father's." I did my best to remember my foggy human memories so he could see.

"Uck! You're right! You were way past your prime! I'm surprised that the change actually burned away that much fat! You could have made a whole second person out of it!" He was exaggerating but it made me laugh.

"Don't be a dick, Eddie." I remembered how scrawny he looked and he cringed.

"Don't call me that! You know only Ed Senior called me that, and he only did that because it used to annoy him!" We both chuckled.

"The change, though it hurts like bloody hell, can do miraculous things to the human form." My thoughts immediately went to a naked image of Bella. I doubt the venom could improve on that.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself. I get enough of those sort of things in high school." As my first companion, Edward always just knew how to lift my spirits.

"Sorry, but you know that I can't help but thinking about beautiful pieces of art made by the divine." I grinned like a fool and looked towards the heavens. "I'd just like to thank the good lord for gracing this world with such a perfect work of art!" Another image of Bella came to mind. This one was of her in a bikini soaking in the few rays of sun that could get through the clouds.

"Come on, Carlisle!" He was such a prude. I tried picturing various women in various states of undress. "Enough, enough, enough!" Edward was still laughing, but I knew I was starting to push him so I stopped my slide show. He was shaking his head but still smiling as we took opposite seats from each other at the dining room table. "I haven't seen you this relaxed in decades. This little sabbatical from the family has been doing you some good." It wasn't the break from the family, it was Bella who was making me this… different. "Tell me about her." I scanned his face for any signs of thirst, but saw none.

"Isabella Swan, Bella preferred. I know hardly anything about her other than the fact that she is probably the kindest person this earth has ever seen!" I threw my hands up in exasperation and he grinned at my frustrated state. "She volunteers at least five days out of the week with disabled veterans and the injured. For some reason she's always listening to these hypersexual songs and doesn't seem to think curtains are an appropriate part of a bedroom décor." That woman confounds me. "Around her I act like an idiot and she points it out every time I step out of line." I was almost shouting, just talking about her made me act crazy. "There's something just so fundamental about her that just attracts me like Esme never did!

"But then Friday evening comes and it's like she's Cinderella and the bell just struck midnight. She flees from this place to her real life." My voice quieted to a whisper. "It's like she spends all week waiting to hop into her little sports car and get out of this place. She's always waiting for those _texts_ from god knows who like they're a balm to her burn." I didn't say anything for a while and Edward let me think. "Then there's what those nurses said." I played him the conversation in my head. "I can't accept the idea of her being a 'kept woman'. She's just too smart for that. I've seen her reading encyclopedias, medical journals, and physics books!" I sighed. "She's just otherworldly in body, action, and soul." I groaned when another image of her glorious body flashed into my mind. "Before seeing her I would have never spied on a woman getting undressed, but I can't help myself when it comes to her." I leaned back in my chair, confounded by my own actions.

"You said her name was Isabella Swan?" I nodded at his inquiry. "In Forks the chief of police's last name is Swan. They have the same eyes. It could be coincidence, but it might not be. Do you want me to look into it when I get back?" I considered his proposal and reluctantly agreed. Bella had told me on more than one occasion she wasn't looking for a relationship, yet I still felt the need to get closer to her, even if it is just by getting to know more about her… it was still stealing information that she didn't feel the need to share with me. "She sounds like an interesting, albeit vexing woman."

"You have no idea." I kept trying to make sense of all the information I had about her, without any success. "I'm actually a bit scared to learn more about her." Edward looked at me questioningly. "If I already feel this attracted to her with only the patchwork of knowledge I have on her… I'm scared of how intense my feelings for her might become when I learn more."

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**Hopefully this chapter was lighthearted enough to counteract the last two, darker chapters. Are you guys enjoying my version of Carlisle?**


	14. Suprises

**Chapter Fourteen: Surprises **

Carlisle's POV

My weekend with Edward was really relaxing after the initial emotional upheaval. It was nice to have some life in my house and I felt more connected with the family again.

He left around noon on Sunday to make sure he wouldn't run into Bella.

Bella was in a decidedly better mood when she got back Sunday night. I was conflicted on how I should feel about that. On one hand I was glad she was doing better, but on the other the person who could make her so happy wasn't me. I snuffed out my jealousy and looked over the sketches and fabric swatches Dhalia had dropped off Monday evening.

She seemed to know what she was doing. I was pleased with her designs. I'd have to tell her tomorrow. Her office closed already if I remember correctly.

My phone pinged to life with a new message. A stupid grin made its way onto my face when I saw it was from Bella.

**Bella: Hey are you at your house and fully dressed?**

**Carlisle: Yes, why do you ask?**

I hit send and a few seconds later I heard a cell phone sing out a ringtone.

_I can tell that you been practicing  
All those other men were practice, they were practice  
Yeah, for me, for me, for me, for me_

I didn't know what to make of her song choice and I sorely hoped that, that ringtone was used just for me.

She didn't respond to the text, but I could hear her coming up my driveway and to my front door. I waited an appropriate time before answering the door after she knocked.

"Hello, Bella." I stood in the doorway slightly stunned by her appearance. Her clothing was normal, but her expression was something else entirely. I had never seen her look so carefree.

"Is it alright if I come in?" She asked with a hint of humor in her voice. I mentally shook myself out of my haze. How long had I been staring at her?

"Of course! Please come in!" I felt a wave of embarrassment rock through me at the loudness of my voice. Did I always have to act a fool in front of her? I tried to compose myself as she passed by me, leading herself to the living room. I was still surprised; she looked just so comfortable as she sat on one of the seats. I sat across from her. "So what has prompted such an honor as having you in my house?" I tried to say suavely, but the way she chuckled made me think I just sounded corny. Her easy demeanor quickly became more businesslike.

"Somewhere along the line of me knowing you I've started to… in a manner of speaking, like you as more than a friend." I was once again stunned. This was not what I had expected her impromptu visit to be about. She didn't seem to notice my lack of response, too focused on what she was trying to say. "This is a very new feeling for me…" Her voice trailed off and she seemed to be lost in her own mind before her eyes met mine again. "Along with that I really want to thank you for helping me out last Thursday, so I was hoping you'd accept my offer to dinner at my house on Wednesday." I'm sure she could easily read my expression of complete shock. She raised an eyebrow at me and looked very amused. "Carlisle?"

"Yes, I'd love nothing more in this world than to have dinner with you." She blushed at my intense response.

"Good. Does seven work for you?" I nodded. Bella stood and brushed imaginary dust off her jeans before turning towards the door. "Super. I hope you like Mexican food." Before I could compose myself she was already heading back to her house.

I stayed seated on the couch for a good half an hour, just processing what had just happened.

The days between now and Wednesday were a blur.

Just as I was heading to work Edward called me.

"So I looked to see if there was a connection between your Bella and Chief Swan." He announced in an unsure voice.

"I'm all ears." For some reason nerves were eating away at my guts.

"He is her dad." Edward's hesitation only spurred on my tense feeling of unease.

"Just tell me everything you know." On the other side of the line I heard him sigh.

"So I broke into Chief Swan's house. There were pictures of a young Bella there, but nothing recent. Alice and Jasper helped me look through some old files before we even considered talking to him. They didn't have any records of her at Forks High but we found a few at the hospital. It was all basic stuff, just a few random injuries. Alice 'saw' Chief Swan drinking alone last night at his house and 'saw' the conversation we would have had if we went over there. According to the vision he drunkenly explained to us how she lived in Arizona when her mother was killed in a factory accident. At the time she was only seventeen. It took him three months to finally convince her to come to see him here in Washington. He only got her to do it since he threatened to go down there and get her himself if she didn't come to Washington.

"So here's where the story gets interesting. She drives from Arizona to Washington just to tell him she's not going to move in with him. She says that she was dropping out of high school, that she had a job and house in Arizona and could maintain herself as an adult, she goes on about how the life insurance was enough to pay off the rest of the mortgage on the house. Chief Swan, understandably, gets real bent out of shape. He goes on and on about how she was being stupid, childish, how she was throwing away her future, how her mom wouldn't want her to do that. He said he'd give her three months to play out this little fantasy of hers and if she didn't come to live with him he'd go down there, sell off the house since she was still a minor, and move her to Forks. Bella isn't too pleased about this so she gets back in her car and… that was the last he heard of her.

"Once her three months were up he went down to Arizona only to find the house sold off at a pretty cheap price and no trace of Bella anywhere. There was no real record of her except at the bank. Her account was completely untouched excluding the deposits for the house's payments. He gets her billing statement every month and even today it remains untouched, just building up interest.

"I don't know what happened between seeing her dad and when he drove down to Arizona, but it had to be life altering for her to completely disappear from her only remaining parent's life."

* * *

**Song: Practice by Drake**

**So... Bella finally is opening up to Carlisle. What did you think of her background story? (Though I obviously only told part of it)  
**

**Give me lots of love and I'll make next chapter extra long! (I'm 100% serious. I finally found some extra time to really write, lots of reviews and next chapter will be at least twice as long as this one)  
**


	15. A Tango Between Heaven and Hell

**Chapter Fifteen: A Tango Between Heaven and Hell**

Carlisle's POV

Edward's news kept rolling through my head as my work day moved at the speed of slow. To completely estrange herself from her father, what could possibly convince or cause her to do so?

My shift was about to end and I was desperately trying to clear my head so that I could focus on our _date _tonight.

A smile spread across my face as I walked down the hospital halls. A few nurses gave me odd looks, probably wonder why I was grinning from ear to ear.

This one sided attraction wasn't so one sided after all. I could still picture perfectly the blush that flared up as she asked me to dinner. And not just dinner, but dinner at _her_ place. A private dinner, with no one to disturb us.

I couldn't help the dirty avenue my thoughts went down automatically. I stuffed those thoughts to the back of my mind. The night would probably just end with a kiss at most, _probably._

My car purred to life and a soft tune comes from my radio. A nice harmony of two voices wove together.

_I find the map and draw a straight line  
Over rivers, farms, and state lines  
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be  
It's only finger-lengths that I see_

It was almost haunting; the ways the voices were so different yet perfect together. They sounded so sad. I switched the radio off. The mood of the song was too dark for where my mindset ought to be. It also reminded me of my desperation just to be near her.

This was my chance.

A steadfast determination gripped my emotions only to be slashed with a cold tendril of uncertainty. Though I had spent centuries on this planet I still felt that she was worldlier than me. It showed in the way she held herself, the way she chose her words, and how she always analyzed the things I said before responding.

Those centuries of observation would have to be my pillars of strength. There was no way she was older than 25…

As I drove pass Bella's home I could hear her voice singing along with a French song. I believe it was Non, je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaf.

_Regrette rien._

Regret nothing.

Who was I to deny such sound advice?

Bella had a surprisingly good French accent as she sang and once again I was struck with uncertainty.

Get it together man!

I tried to center myself when I was inside my house but I couldn't escape the noises coming from her house. It was six and I could hear the sounds of cooking, her singing, and music. A blender went off and I could picture her swaying with one hand holding the top of the blender down and the other on the handle, eyes closed, just enjoying the music.

I retreated to my study even though I knew I wouldn't be able to see anything from its window. I set an alarm for five till seven and just let myself be engulfed and lost to the sounds she made…

The alarm went off, snapping me out of my nirvana.

I changed into more dinner appropriate clothing and didn't even bother trying to comb my hair. It would look perfectly coiffed regardless of any actions I took.

I pulled out the vase of flowers from my nearly empty fridge. I had ordered them under Alice's advisement. She and Jasper were the only ones in the family with dating experience. They had taken the start of their relationship slowly while the rest of us, excluding Edward, just fell into being couples.

I left my cell phone in my house and tried to put on an air of confidence as I walked down to her place. I briefly argued to myself on whether I should use the front or back door. I settled on just rapping against the back door.

Jake barked like crazy and a minute later Bella opened the door. She looked stunning as ever in a pair of black jeans and loose fitting white t-shirt that fell off one shoulder revealing a strap of her red bra. I noticed that she wasn't wearing her usual swan necklace.

"Flowers." I said in an almost breathless tone. My eyes couldn't stop looking at the hint of what she was wearing under her shirt and pants. She chuckled and took the vase from me.

"Thanks Carlisle." Our eyes met and she blushed. Bella brought the flowers to her nose, inhaling deeply. "I've always loved flowers, but never had the green thumb to cultivate them myself even when I worked in a flower-shop." I followed her as she spoke. There was music on in the background. It streamed through almost every room. Jake was circling around my feet. If I was human I'm sure he would be tripping me up. "Jake! Off! Go to your bed." He looked up at her, ears back, completely chastised. He trotted, tail between his legs, to a large dog bed in the corner of the kitchen. I notice that most of the songs that came on through the various speakers were dated from between the mid 30s to early 60s.

"I'm sure you could grow a beautiful garden if you put your mind to it." I said off handedly, looking at the spread of food. The quesadillas were sizzling, salsa and guacamole looking fresh, rice steaming, and enchiladas in the oven.

"I'm sure I could too, if I cared enough, but there are much more important things in this world than growing pretty daisies and pansies." Bella said in a thoughtful voice before clapping her hands together and smiling at me. "Now, dinner is almost ready. I just need to set the table and make drinks. Would you be so kind as to help me?"

"I'd like nothing more." She directed me to the dining room. It had a surprisingly small table that could sit no more than four people. Once the food and dishes were set out she led me to another room. It almost looked like a longue, but with a whole wall full of different alcoholic drinks.

"I hope you don't think poorly of me for having so much alcohol. I love making different cocktails almost as much as I love cooking." Bella said bashfully.

"If it makes you happy who am I to judge? At my family house we have a whole wine cellar that has been built up through generations." She seemed pleased with my answer as she slipped behind the bar. I leaned against the counter, just enjoying watching her.

"So I have a few brands of beer, mostly South American stuff since that was tonight's food theme, but I have some imported ones from Europe as well." She bent over looking through a mini-fridge giving me a delicious view. "I have water and orange juice if you're not feeling like alcohol, but personally I'm going for good old fashion margaritas." She turned back towards me, leaning over the bar slightly.

"Margaritas sound great."

"Frozen or on the rocks?"

"However you take it." Bella rolled her eyes at my response and laughed goodheartedly. She pulled out a blender and various ingredients. Turning around she looked up the wall of shelves filled with different alcohols.

"Carlisle can you hand me bottle labeled Trago? It's a bit out of my reach." I went around the bar. The area was cramped giving little room between our two bodies. Her skin flushed and I could feel the heat radiating from her. She pointed upwards and I spotted the bottle. I could feel her eyes on me as I reached. Our fingers briefly met as I handed her the bottle. "Thanks." I went back to my previous spot. She started humming as she made the drink.

Bella measured everything meticulously, dusting the rims of the glasses with salt. I could see just how much she was enjoying herself. She glanced at me, giving me a brief warning before turning on the blender. She poured a bit in a shot glass and tried it.

"Perfect." Bella was practically beaming. Her sheer happiness was making me feel content.

She brought the pitcher of margarita with her and I carried the two glasses as we went back to the dining room. We stacked our plates full and when she took her first bite I could see bliss playing across her features.

I slipped handfuls of food to Jake whenever I could.

We ate in a comfortable silence with just the music in the background.

_I'm feelin' mighty lonesome  
Haven't slept a wink  
I walk the floor from nine to four  
In between I drink  
Black coffee  
Love's a hand-me-down brew_

Bella's eyes were closed, her body swayed in her seat, and she took small bites. She was in her own state of nirvana.

_Now man was born to go a lovin'  
But was a woman born to weep and fret  
And stay at home and tend her oven  
And down her past regrets  
In coffee and cigarettes_

I put down my fork and knife, just watching her.

The song drifted off into another one and her eyes opened lazily, meeting mine.

"Good music, good food, good company. What else can a man ask for?" I said, for once smoothly. Bella smiled at me, her plate now empty. I stood and her eyes followed me. "Would you like to dance?" I offered my hand and she looked slightly incredulous before accepting.

"Sway by Rosemary Clooney. A perfect dance song." There was just enough room to dance in the dining room. I was surprised when she effortlessly fell into my foxtrot steps. "You're just full of surprises, Ms. Swan."

"As are you, Dr. Cullen." I spun her around wishing the area wasn't so confined so I could fully show her my dance skills. Our bodies were close, her movements were crisp despite having no shoes on, the temptation to kiss her was almost stifling. Her eyes never left mine as the song changed to a faster tune. We switched to a salsa, once again effortlessly. I didn't recognize the song, but it only had one lyric: Tequila.

As the song ended we pulled apart. I grabbed my margarita and raised it in a toast.

"To tequila!" I said cheerfully. She giggled and clanked her glass to mine.

"To tequila." Bella echoed before we both took a sip of our drinks. "Wanna help me put away all this stuff before we," she paused, "do something else?" I nodded mutely and helped her move all the dishes back to the kitchen. She flitted around the kitchen grabbing tupperware dishes.

"Is it alright if I use your restroom?" The food in my stomach was getting increasingly more uncomfortable. Bella pointed the way wordlessly. Luckily the music and her scrapping of dishes covered up the noise of me upchucking my dinner.

When I got back to the kitchen Bella was practically done putting away the food. Her back was to me as she washed out one of the bowls. She was rocking on her feet as she sang under her breath.

_I fell for your jivin' and I took you in  
Now all you got to offer me's a drink of gin  
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?  
Get out of here and get me some money too_

"You sing it Mrs. Rabbit." Bella said and chuckled to herself.

"Mrs. Rabbit?" Bella flinched slightly, probably startled. "I thought this song was sung by Peggy Lee?" She turned around and wiped her hands off on a dish towel, still swaying to the music.

"She does, but I prefer Jessica Rabbit's voice compared to Lee's, for this song at least. I didn't know you knew about such old music?" I internally cringed. If she thought this music was old… I could only imagine what she'd think of me if she knew my actual age.

"I only know a bit, but I've never heard of Jessica Rabbit before." Her eyes went wide in surprise.

"You don't know Mrs. Roger Rabbit?" I shook my head no. "I'm very disappointed in you, Carlisle. I can't believe you've never seen _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_." She made a tsking noise to herself and crossed her arms. "Do you have to wake up early tomorrow?" Her question made me curious, wondering where her line of thought was going.

"Nope. Why do you ask?" Bella grinned widely.

"Perfect. Now we can remedy the situation." Bella put away the tupperware. I still wasn't quite following her line of thought. "Oh, I forgot I made flan! Would you like some?"

"I'm good for now." I said politely. She shrugged.

"Your loss." The custard looked disgusting to me, but I'm sure it was delicious to her. Once she had a large serving on her new plate her fingers intertwined with mine and she lightly pulled on my hand, leading me through the house. We ended up in a darker room. It had a large TV that took up most of the wall. It was surrounded by shelves of dvds, tapes, and bluray discs. Below the TV was a few gaming councils I didn't recognize as well as games. I was disappointed when she released my hand. "Make yourself comfy," was all she said before turning to the wall beside the door. I had noticed the first time I came over that in every room she had a small touch screen in the walls by one of the doors. She tapped a few times and the music stopped playing and the lights in the room came on. Bella went over to the right side of the TV wordlessly. "W for Who." She mumbled to herself before pulling out a dvd case, _Who Framed Roger Rabbit. _"I hope you're ready for one of my childhood favorites."

"It must be really good to get you this worked up." I said offhandedly. Bella ducked her head in embarrassment making me chuckle lightly.

"Damn straight it's good." She was mumbling to herself again as she put the dvd on. "Silly man, thinking that it's the movie getting me worked up." Bella snorted and covered up the noise with a fake cough. I held back a grin.

The TV flashed on and Bella went back to the touch screen by the door. The lights faded leaving only the glow of the movie. Bella plopped down right beside me on the couch, a hair's breadth away. She tucked her feet beneath her and took a bite of her flan.

"I'm glad I finally get to put this room to good use. I'm not a fan of watching movies alone." Bella said absentmindedly, scooping up another spoonful of flan. She was looking at the previews.

"Next time you have the urge to watch a movie, just call me. I'll be over before you finish the call." I said without thinking. Bella looked away from the TV to me. Her eyes were searching and intense for the situation. I froze. Her look was just so strong, almost analytical. She must have seen something she liked because her eyes softened and she smiled. Reaching my way she grabbed my arm and draped it over her shoulder.

"That's much better." Bella said as she looked back to the TV as the movie started and she leaned against me. I was once again stunned by this beautiful woman. How can these sorts of things just come to her so effortlessly? Since the moment I sat down I debated with myself on a lower level of consciousness on whether or not to put my arm around her if she sat next to me. Bella snuggled closer to me after putting down her empty plate. She laughed at a scene and I had to remember that I was supposed to watching the movie.

She was so warm against me and I was surprised by how unperturbed she was by my natural coldness. I couldn't concentrate on the movie so I just laughed when she did. Most humans were naturally averse to being around my kind, but Bella wasn't most humans. Having her in my arms was very calming.

My mind drifted back to what Edward said about Bella possibly being my mate. In this moment with her in my arms there were no doubts in my mind, the worries of yesterday and tomorrow were nonexistence, and my long dead heart felt alive. If this wasn't how someone feels around their soul mate then I never want to be around anyone else. Bella was all there was in this world worth living for.

"My favorite Jessica Rabbit quote is coming up." Bella said as she glanced my way, our eyes met briefly. Her face flushed red and she quickly turned back to the TV. I couldn't pay attention to the movie and I only knew which line was her favorite was because she mouthed the line: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

I could tell as the movie progressed that she kept falling closer and closer to the dream world. I'm sure the small circles I was drawing against her shoulder with my thumb wasn't helping her fight that battle.

Off in one of the rooms upstairs I heard a cell phone go off and my thumb stilled. Bella didn't seem to hear it as it rang for a good minute before stopping.

It was like a bucket of water was thrown over me. The little bubble we were in seemed to burst for me. Reality seeped back into my thoughts.

If only I hadn't heard those damn nurses that time.

A kept woman.

Upstairs her phone chirped. When it chirped again five minutes later I deduced whoever called left a message.

Bella's head rested on my shoulder and her breath evened out.

The credits started rolling I know I should wake her up, but a very large, very selfish part of me didn't want her to leave my arms.

In the background I could still hear the chirping of her phone, haunting me, reminding me that she still wasn't mine.

In a moment of weakness I maneuvered us so that we were both laying down on the couch. Bella snuggled closer to me.

"Carlisle." Bella said in a breathless voice. For a second I thought she had woken up, but when I look at her, her eyes were still closed. Her hand gripped my shirt tightly before loosening.

I was in my own mixture of Heaven and Hell. Having her in my arms was Heaven while the constant chirping of her phone shattered the moment, constantly reminding me that this wouldn't last, reminding me that there was someone else. Knowing she wasn't mine was Hell.

* * *

**Songs: Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol, Non, je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaf, Black Coffee by Peggy Lee, Sway by Rosemary Clooney, Tequila by The Champs, and Why Don't you Do Right? By Jessica Rabbit. **

**Did you like the date? Was my extra effort worth it? Show me some love!  
**


	16. Wake Up, It's Time

**Chapter Sixteen: Wake Up, It's Time.**

Carlisle's POV

Around four in the morning Bella started stirring and I pretended to be asleep. I was both curious and scared to see how she'd react to our somewhat intimate position. I could feel her use my chest to push herself up before completely freezing. Her whole body tensed before slowly relaxing. She let out a sigh and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign. Bella wiggled pass me and her light footfalls echoed on the wooden floorboards of the hallway. She grabbed a bite in the kitchen, used the restroom, and brushed her teeth.

Her bare feet led her back to the doorway of the room I was laying in. She stood there for a minute and the temptation to open my eyes and see her expression was monumental.

"Fuck it. If I don't live for the present then I'm not living." Bella said before she slid in between me and the back of the couch. She laid her head on my chest and relaxed against me.

Oh, God. What if she notices my lack of a heartbeat?

I tried to come up with a solution, but before I could find one she was already back asleep. I could feel the heat and moisture of her soft breaths through my shirt.

An hour passed in what felt like a second…

_I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon  
Let's get it on_

Marvin Gaye's voice sang throughout the house. I pretended to be startled awake and Bella stretched besides me.

"What's that?" I asked in a groggy voice while yawning.

"Mm, my alarm clock. We must have fallen asleep during the movie." The bones in her back cracked into place as she sat up and stretched. She looked cute in the dim light of the TV, hair mussed and eye makeup slightly smeared.

"My shift must have taken more out of me than I thought it did." I rubbed the heels of my hands against my closed eyes. "I should be heading back to my house. I know how much you like your morning runs."

"Yes, I love keeping fit." She stood, still stretching. "In the fridge to the left of the milk is a bowl of Mexican food. I fixed it up for you since we had so many leftovers." Bella said and I sat up. The lights around the house automatically came on.

"Thanks, homemade food is always so much better than those frozen dinners I usually have." We were just staring at each other. "I know that I've been monopolizing your Thursday lunches and that we just had dinner together, but…" Bella was smiling at me as she ran her hands through her tangled hair.

"It's actually one of my friend's birthdays today so I won't be going to the hospital. How about we get drinks tonight? I haven't been to my favorite bar in a while."

"Sounds good. Just text me the address." I moved to stand up, but Bella placed her hand on my shoulder, halting my movement. I looked up at her curiously.

"One more thing." In a swift motion Bella was straddling my lap and her lips were on mine. She moved with passion, but before I could react or move my hands to her hips to more fully enjoy her body she was standing again. I was completely stunned. "I had a great time." She said as she walked out the room. "I'm sure you can find your way home."

* * *

Alice called me during my lunch break. I was sitting outside the library, book in hand. It was a few blocks from the hospital.

"I think I'm getting a headache." She said with a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"Different versions of your date tonight keep playing through my head. Either one of you or both keep making up scenarios on what you're going to say and do tonight, causing my vision to change. It's getting really annoying." Alice whined.

"Sorry, Alice. I'll try to stop thinking about my upcoming date." I cleared my mind and just focused on recent medical finds and my family.

"So when are we going to meet your girlfriend?" She said in a teasing voice.

"You sound like a little kid." Alice started making a whining noise trying to annoy me into answering her. As always, it worked. "Bella's not my girlfriend." The word girlfriend just sounded so juvenile. "We've only just started really seeing each other. As much as I want it to be serious these sort of things take time."

"But she's your mate! You should just throw her on the bed and give her a panty wetting kiss. Once you get her heated up she won't say no, then you claim her!"

"Was there ever a point in your life when you used finesse?" I asked sarcastically. There was laughter from my family in the background.

"So you've accepted that she's your mate?" Alice completely disregarded my last comment.

"Yes."

"Then where's the problem? Fuck her then change her or change her then fuck her. I don't understand why you're hesitating."

"Geez, Alice." Edward said. "I'm sure it's not as easy or simple as that."

"Edward's right." I said before Alice could speak up. "These sort of things need time to develop naturally. Besides, she doesn't know I'm a vampire and I'm not going to just drop vampirism on her." I couldn't hide the worry in my tone.

"She's your mate. Bella's not gonna run when you tell her." I heard a faint clicking and I could tell Alice put the phone on speaker.

"It's more complicated than just that." I said in a distant voice.

"Oh yeah, 'cause she's a paramour." Emmett said and I growled at him only to stifle it when a human walked pass me.

"That's just a rumor." I hissed.

"If there is one thing I've learned is that it always comes down to the money, Carlisle." He was trying to tease me, but his words only made me angry.

"Emmett-" I tried to interrupt him

"If she's a lady of the night just show her your bank statement. Done deal." Emmett carried on, not noticing how angry he was making me.

"Jasper, do me a favor and kick his ass." I said through clenched teeth.

"No problem. I'll make his face kiss the ground a few times and then make him eat some dirt." Jasper's Southern accent was dulled after years of hiding it, but it didn't take away from his threatening tone.

"Oh you're so on!" Emmett shouted.

"Take it outside!" Rosalie shouted right back and I could hear scuffling.

"Why aren't you all in school, anyways?" I asked, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood.

"The sun keeps peaking through the clouds up here."

"Oh, well, my break is almost over so I'll have to cut this call short." I snapped my book close. "Love you all." I heard multiple love yous echo back to me.

"Carlisle," Alice said before I could hang up, "just be careful not to say anything stupid to Bella tonight."

* * *

**Song: Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye**

**Did you like Bella's reaction to waking up beside Carlisle? And the not so subtle foreshadowing?  
**


	17. The Dangers of a Bar

**I haven't gotten around to responding to all the reviews, but it will happen tonight!  
**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: The Dangers of a Bar**

Carlisle's POV

The sun had just set by the time I pulled into the small parking lot behind the bar Bella had told me about. I could hear music faintly coming from it.

_A girl starts walkin, guys start gawkin'  
Sits down next to you and starts talkin'  
Says she wanna dance cus she likes the groove  
So come on fatso and just bust a move  
_

As I walked out of the cool night and into the bar I was hit with a wave of heat and smoke. The bar was surprisingly full for a Thursday. I scoped the area and saw Bella was sitting at a table in a back corner, beer in hand and phone to ear.

"No excuses. You should have been there." Bella said into the phone, an annoyed look on her face.

"Did he at least like my gift?" A male voice responded as Bella took a sip of beer.

"He was indifferent to it. All he wanted was for you to visit." The male on the other end of the line sighed. "You damn well better call him, Daniel, or I'll kick your ass myself."

"Fine I'll call him now. Just don't be mad at me, Bella." The male's voice sounded desperate. Bella pushed the off button and I could tell she powered down her phone before tossing it in her purse. She started fidgeting with the swan pendant on her necklace. I went to the bar pretending to not have seen her yet. An older man was the bartender. I ordered the same brand of beer as Bella and told him to start a tab. "Carlisle, I'm over here." Her sweet voice said just over the music.

I made my way through the scattered crowd toward her small table. I briefly wondered how I should greet her. A kiss? A hug? What was the etiquette for these sorts of things between… whatever relationship Bella and I have? I settled on just giving her a peck on the cheek. Her face lit up with happiness and a blush.

"Hey Bella, long time no see." I said jokingly as I sat down.

"You have no idea. It's been a long day." She sank into her seat a bit.

"What happened?" I asked as she rifled through her purse.

"Nothing unexpected, yet still frustrating." Bella pulled out a silver case with the letters IMS etched in a fancy script. "Do you smoke?" She pushed on the side of the case and it opened revealing a row of cigarettes.

"No, I don't partake." I paused, looking at the offered object. "I didn't peg you as a smoker, Bella." She flipped the case closed.

"I only smoke socially and when I'm in a bad mood. I haven't had a cigarette in over a year." She replaced it in her purse.

"Well hopefully I can lighten up your evening." Apparently that was exactly what she needed to hear because I could see the stress leave her shoulders.

"You are already making this day a lot better." Bella pulled out a silver lighter with real sapphires embedded in it. "Sorry if I'm a bit fidgety." She was twisting and turning the lighter in her hand. "Normally when I'm in a bad mood I just work it off on the trail or punching bag, but I guess you've seen the outcome of that." An image of her gasping for air and barely hanging onto a punching bag came to mind. A new song came on and I stilled Bella's hand with my own.

_"There must be some kind of way out of here,"  
Said the joker to the thief,  
"There's too much confusion,  
I can't get no relief."_

"We all have our own ways of working off frustration." I said and Bella let go of her lighter and intertwined her fingers with mine. With her other hand she raised her empty beer bottle and caught eyes with one of the waiters.

"So Carlisle," there was a mischievous glint in her eye, "how do you work off your…_ frustration_?"

"Well, for my _frustration_," I emphasized the word, "I'm sure you can imagine." She laughed at my evasion. "Seriously though, when I am back home and annoyed my brother and I loved to fight. It wasn't anything fancy like I've seen you do, just brothers fighting." I could almost feel the pain from when Jasper dislocated my shoulder when we were sparring last.

"Carlisle have you been spying on me?" Bella said playfully. I backtracked, thinking of what I just said. A half lie came quickly to mind.

"I can't help but look down the slope when I head to my car." I shrugged and a waiter put down two fresh beers on the table. "If I happen to catch a glance at you moving more gracefully than a dancer as you pounded a punching bag what sort of man would I be not to stop and admire such a lovely sight?"

"That sounds like a fancy way of saying 'Yes Bella, I love just watching you sleep in the middle of the night' to me." She imitated my voice poorly making me laugh harder. We were still holding hands and all was right in the world. "Since your brother isn't around to fight with how do you get out your frustration?"

"With a cold beer and book."

"I can't decide if that's awesome or sad." She said in a playful voice, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Makes me happy." I mumbled, still smiling. She rolled her eyes at me and took a big swig of beer. We listened to the music for a few minutes, just enjoying being with each other. "Tell me something about you I don't know."

"Something like what?" Her voice was a bit distance, eyes closed. She was enjoying the music. I admired her for that. She was always enjoying the things people normally just passed by.

"Something personal, something I don't know about you." Her eyes met mine and I saw a glint of worry before they turned to the suds in her beer.

_Something's wrong when you regret  
Things that haven't happened yet  
But it's a glorious day when morning comes  
Without that feeling of alarm_

"I never went to college." I could tell the admission was a sore subject.

"I would have never guessed. You're so well spoken."

"Books, lots and lots of books. I'll read a new word, understand it through context, but I won't know how to pronounce it correctly till I hear someone else say it." She chuckled. "That's why being around other well spoken people, like yourself, helps me sound the way I do." She graced me with a smile. "How about you? I want to know more about you too." I took a minute to think of a safe confession.

"I can speak French and Spanish fluently." Amongst many other languages, but she didn't need to know that.

"Not bad, Carlisle, but I was hoping for something a bit deeper, something that would make me feel better about my own shortcoming." Bella tried to play her sentence off as lighthearted, but I could see the pain she was trying to cover up. The mood instantly shifted into a darker direction. I wanted to make her feel better, but I wasn't sure how to. I had lived my life within the lines that society set down, fulfilling every task that was expected of me. The only times I stepped out of those lines was when I needed to protect my family.

"I was married once." The words slipped out before I could think them through properly. Bella looked up at me startled. "She left me for another man."

"I'm sorry that she hurt you." She paused. "How long- I mean when…" She started fumbling over her words.

"Five years ago. I haven't seen her since." I could tell she didn't know how to respond so I continued. "You're the first person that even caught my eye since then." My voice was slightly strained. Bella was stunned and I could hear her heart racing. "You have to know, Bella, that I'm not one of those men who dates random women for entertainment." I needed her to understand how intensely I loved her already. "The feelings I have for you already outshine what I had with my ex-wife." I felt both nervous and relieved by my confession. That was quickly shattered though when Bella let go of my hand. I felt my anxiety rise. I hadn't planned on saying all that and I instantly regretted it when I saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say, Carlisle." She took a deep, unsteady breath. "You're just such a good person compared to me. I almost feel unworthy of you." I tried to interrupt her, but she wasn't having that. "My life is just so complicated and some would accuse of being sordid." Bella was struggling with her words and her desperation was contagious. "I really just want to give myself over to you, to us, to what we could be, but I have so many obligations both self-imposed and-"

"Bella-"I tried to interrupt her again. I could feel my own anxiety skyrocket when I saw the tears in her eyes. This isn't how it's supposed to be. She's my _mate_. I was supposed to make her happy, not cry.

"I don't know if I can give you what you want-" I felt my chest tighten painfully. My mate didn't want me.

"Bella-" My voice cracked and I searched desperately trying to think of a way to change her mind.

"I just feel so obligated-" Her eyes were wild.

"Please Bella-" My voice was almost a whisper.

"I just need some time to think-" She grabbed her purse and lighter in a hasty motion and stood. My mind was racing, trying to find any solution, any words, any anything, that would make her stay.

"If it's about the money-" Bella's footsteps stilled and I instantly knew I said the wrong thing when she turned around. She looked absolutely furious.

"What did you just say?" Her voice was even, but her shoulders were shaking with pent up anger. I was frozen in place, not knowing how to rectify the situation. "I can't believe you just said that to me." Her hands balled up into fists and tears streamed down her face. "I thought you were different than the others." She turned around, walking towards the door.

"Bella, I didn't-" I stood to go after her, accidentally flipping the table in my haste.

"Not another word." She said without even glancing back.

* * *

**Songs: Bust a Move by Young MC, All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix (though I prefer the Battlestar Galactica version), and 1940 by The Submarines.**

**This was a really hard chapter for me to write. So you've gotten more info on Bella. Feel free to make guesses about her phone call, but I'm pretty sure you won't figure out her back story, but I wanna know your guesses! Review. **


	18. Mercy Seat

**Chapter Eighteen: Mercy Seat**

Carlisle's POV

Previously:

"_Bella, I didn't-" I stood to go after her, accidently flipping the table in my haste. _

"_Not another word." She said without even glancing back._

I couldn't move. Bella opened the door and a gust of air pushed her scent my way. It only seemed to deepen my pain. I heard the purr of her car starting then her peeling out.

I can't believe I said that. _'If it's about the money-'_

I could still see the emotions in her eyes that were hidden behind her anger. It was a devastating mixture of despair and disbelief, like I betrayed her.

"Wow, you really fucked up dude." A drunken man who probably didn't know his left from his right said. I glared at him, but he was too drunk to be scared. I righted the table I had accidentally knocked over and settled my tab before leaving.

How could I be such an ass...

My phone rang, but I ignored it when I saw that it was Edward. I wasn't in a talking mood.

I sat in my car trying to figure out how I could have been so stupid to screw this up.

My Bella… My mate...

I sighed and rested my head against the steering wheel.

'_If it's about the money-'_

Emmett's words from earlier today came to mind: _'__If there is one thing I've learned is that it always comes down to the money, Carlisle.'_

I can't believe I let his teasing effect me. Damn it, Emmett. Another sigh escaped me.

But no, I can't blame him for what slipped out of my mouth.

'_If it's about the money-'_

I cringed. She had been so hurt by my words. Bella had tried not to show it, but some emotions are impossible to hide.

I growled in frustration. Every fiber of my being was screaming for me to follow her, to comfort her, but I know she needs time to cool down. If I showed up now it would only lead to a worse situation, possibly one where she banished me from her life completely.

The thought was stifling.

My phone buzzed again and this time it was Alice.

"Why didn't you warn me this would happen?" I asked while growling. I had to make a conscious effort not to crush my phone.

"I only saw her leaving angry, but that was only one of fifty-six visions I had about your date. I don't know what you said to set her off, but I did warn you. I said: 'Just be careful not to say anything stupid to Bella tonight.' I'm pretty sure that qualifies as a warning."

I wanted to be angry at Alice, but I couldn't fault her. It was my own stupidity that got me into this mess.

"You're right." I admitted as I turned the car on, resolved to be closer to Bella even if it was the distance from my house to hers. The radio was loud so I turned it down.

_It all began when they took me from my home  
And put me on Death Row,  
a crime for which I am totally innocent, you know._

"So what did you even say to her?" I should have known Alice's curiosity would get the best of her.

"I'd rather not go into it."

"But how am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me the situation?" She was whining and I wasn't in the mood to play her childish games.

"Alice, just tell me what you see in her future."

"You know it's hard for me to see people who I haven't directly met. The only times I've seen her was when you were with her, even then she's foggy. Despite what I told you before I've actually never seen her image clearly." I cut off another car and they honked at me. "I know that her future is out there. I can practically feel it, but it's just out of my reach. It's very annoying." Alice let out a little huff of annoyance.

_And the mercy seat is waiting  
And I think my head is burning  
And in a way I'm yearning  
To be done with all this weighing of the truth._

"I can sympathize." I deadpanned. She didn't respond right away and I tried to focus on the road even though it was unnecessary. "Alice," my voice broke, "I'm scared." She gasped.

_And the mercy seat is glowing  
And I think my head is smoking  
And in a way I'm hopin'  
to be done with all these looks of disbelief._

"No Dad! I'm sure everything will be alright. She's your mate-"

"She hates me. I've ruined everything."

"You're overreacting!"

"Bella said: 'I thought you were different than the others.' I don't even know who the _others _are, but it's obviously a group I don't want to be in when it comes to her."

"You need to think about this rationally." My hand clenched tighter on the steering wheel. I'm pretty sure no one liked being told to 'think rationally'. "Even if you killed her whole family she wouldn't be able to be mad at you for long. That's just how the mating pull works."

"Alice how is that rational in the least? She's human. Humans don't have mates. There is no reason for her to feel bound to me the same way I feel bound to her." I growled out.

"That's why I think you should just go change her. None of us had any warning what was coming when we got pumped full of venom. She'll adapt like we did. Anyways she's not connected with anyone so it will be super easy to fake her death."

_An eye for an eye  
And a tooth for a tooth  
And any way I told the truth  
But I'm afraid I told a lie._

"She has a whole other facet of her life that I know nothing about."

"So then call in sick to work and follow her this weekend, wait, scratch that. You're going to the opera with us this Saturday in Seattle, remember? You can follow her next weekend. By then she'll probably have already forgiven you. "

"I'd rather respect her privacy and have her open up to me about her life than follow her in the shadows."

"Respect her privacy? Come on Carlisle you and I both know about your peeping on her. I had vague visions of it and Edward only confirmed it after he visited you." I would be annoyed at Edward, but there are no secrets in my family. They would have found out eventually anyways. I felt so tired and her insisting on me doing something that I found to be just outside the realm of right only weighed on me more.

"We'll finish this discussion later. Right now I just need to be closer to her." I closed the phone before she could respond.

I pushed my car to a speed I hadn't driven in years. When I pulled onto the road that led to our houses I could tell by the undisturbed gravel that she wasn't back yet.

My house was completely silent and it only made me feel more depressed.

I waited all night, but she never came back.

When I thought about when she left I realized that her tires had gone in the opposite direction of her house. She didn't come to the hospital on Friday and some of the staff was worried about her. From what I heard this was the first time since the hospital opened that she had missed two days in a row. Some of them even considered going to her house to make sure she was alright. When I got back home after my double shift Bella was still not back.

I tried to suppress my panicking, but it was futile. I wanted to find her to make sure she was alright. For all I knew she could have been in a bad car accident. I had never been a good tracker and she was in a car so the slim chance that I could follow her scent trail was practically nonexistent. I settled on watching the news all night looking for any reports of car accidents or news on her.

On Saturday I called in to work sick. If Bella came back I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to say sorry.

At noon Alice rang.

"I know you're set on waiting for her to come back, but I've already seen the vision of you waiting there all weekend. She is not going to go back there till Sunday evening." I let out a sigh. "The family really wants to see you and I'm sure we'll be able to distract you at least a little bit. Do you want us to pick you up or should I just give you the address of the opera house?"

"Just give me the address." My voice was dull as I stood to go find one of my tuxedos. She rattled off the street name and building number and gave me a general idea of where it was.

"It will be good for you to see us and after the show we can discuss a game plan on how you can get your Bella back."

"Fine, Alice, I'll see you all in the lobby." I hung up and let out one of the countless sighs I've had since I screwed everything up.

I was hoping the drive to Seattle would be therapeutic, but it only seemed to set me more on edge.

"Way to cut it close, Carlisle." Edward said, handing me a ticket. We still had a good ten minutes before the curtains opened. "The others are already sitting in our box." I followed him, not really caring about what was going on around me. My thoughts were still centered on how to get Bella to forgive me. I didn't even know what opera we were seeing.

When we got to the private box seats we all greeted each other like we had just seen each other the day before. In the scheme of eternity it really hadn't been that long since we were all together.

Through the first half I could feel them glance my way every once and a while, probably worried. I knew I should reassure them, but I couldn't bring myself to work up the energy to lie.

Even though I was distant from the immediate world I must admit that the opera was rather well sung.

During the intermission I decided to follow Emmett and Rosalie to the foyer just to take up the time. They tried to make small chat, but I was unresponsive, eyes and ears dulled to the world around me, that is until a particular scent caught me off guard. They immediately saw me completely stop moving.

"What's up, Carlisle?" Emmett asked, but I was too busy searching the crowded room to respond.

"I think I smell her, my mate." I said through the murmur of the crowd.

"How can you smell anything in this place? It's so crowded with people." Rosalie asked incredulously.

"I just know it's her scent." I finally spotted her. She was wearing a blood red ball gown that flared out just below her knees. It was a strapless number that matched her lipstick. Her hair was pulled up and she had a necklace that was dripping with diamonds. She looked absolutely stunning.

It only took me a fraction of a second to catalogue everything she was wearing, but it took me a whole minute to realize someone had their arm around her waist.

* * *

**Song: Mercy Seat by Johnny Cash**

**Double update for this story and Natural Order! Cliff hanger! Hoped you like it! Soon more answers!  
**


	19. Ye Olde Opera House

**Chapter Nineteen: Ye Olde Opera House**

Carlisle's POV

"There she is." I whispered to Emmett and Rosalie.

"The one in the red?" Rosalie asked stunned and I just nodded.

"Wow, you really know how to pick them, Pops. She's- wow, she's-" Emmett tripped over his words.

"Gorgeous." Rosalie finished for him.

"I know." My eyes just couldn't get enough of her, but then they would stray to her waist where a tuxedo clad arm was pressing her against him and my insides would boil with anger.

"Who's the dude she's with?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know, but I need you two to get Edward out of here. Bella's blood calls to him." They followed my order without questioning. I started making my way towards Bella and the man who was laying claim on what is mine. They were standing by one of the bars. He was looking at one of the menus with a glass of bourbon in hand. He was a tall man, early thirties with already graying blond hair, he was thin yet built, and I instantly hated him. For some reason he looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't figure out why.

My eyes met Bella's when I was halfway across the room. Her heart rate went up almost instantly. She grabbed the man's arm and squeezed it lightly. He looked away from the menu to her with a questioning look. Bella glanced my way and his eyes followed. Their eyes met again and his hand tightened on her hip. They were having a silent conversation and my hate for this stranger rose even higher. As I took my final steps towards her she stepped out of his grasp and put on a fake smile. She held out her hand offering me a handshake.

"Dr. Cullen, what a pleasant surprise." I took her hand, leaned down, and placed a lingering kiss on her knuckles. She quickly retracted her hand, a lovely blush coloring her face. "I'd like to introduce you to Daniel Halterman." Said man stepped forward and shook my hand. His grip was strong, but mine was stronger. It was obviously a challenge and the look in his eyes only confirmed that. He wrapped his arm back around her waist. Bella turned in his grasp so that she was facing him and stood on her toes to whisper in his ear. "Daniel, I'm going to head back to our box. You know what I want." She gave me a quick look and nod. "Dr. Cullen." I watched her go and Mr. Halterman took a sip of bourbon.

"Dr. Cullen, I hear you work at my hospital." Daniel, that son of a bitch, said. It took me a second to piece together the puzzle _Halterman_ General Hospital, Daniel _Halterman_. He had a cockiness probably spurred on by money he didn't earn himself that just made me hate him even more.

"I suppose I do."I said, trying to play it off like it was nothing. He took another sip, never breaking eye contact with me. "So how do you know Bella?" I asked.

"Oh, you know, how does anyone know anyone else nowadays?" Elusive bastard. "Would you give me a second? Bella wanted me to order her some champagne." He turned away from me before I could respond. "Excuse me, what champagnes do you have?" Daniel said loudly. The bartender raddled off a few brands I recognized as prestigious. He chose one and the waiter looked a bit nervous.

"Are you sure sir? This bottle is 350 dollars?" The bartender whispered over the counter. Daniel let out a bark of a laugh.

"I'm sure." He pulled out his wallet and four crisp 100 dollar bills. "Keep the change, kid. Just make sure that it's delivered to the Imperial Box with six glasses before intermission ends." He turned back to me knowing full well that I had seen his actions. My fingers twitched, wanting to show him up by buying something more expensive, but I restrained myself. "So Dr. Cullen where are you sitting?"

"We have a box seat near the middle. My siblings and I have it rented for the season. Will I be seeing you here for the next opera, Mr. Halterman?" I knew this game, the butting of heads by two males, both after the same female. I've seen it a million times, but had never played it.

"I'm not really a fan. Bella loves it though, anything having to do with music." We were silent for a minute and the crowd was thinning, heading back to their seats. "I heard you fucked up recently." He said bluntly, startling me.

"That I did."

"She decided to cut you out of her life." His statement nearly made me keel over in pain. "That's how she deals with people that hurt her." He took another sip of his drink, watching my reaction. "I love her more than anything else in this world." He glanced at his melting ice. "That being said Bella and I are heading to the Diamant Cigar Club for some business once the show ends." He pulled out his wallet and a business card. "If you're serious about pursuing her stop by about an hour after the show ends. It's just two blocks from here, overlooking the park. Just show them my card and they'll let you in." I was completely startled and suspicious of his motives. He held out the card for me, but before I could take it he pulled back. "Be warned though. If you hurt her again I won't hesitate to destroy everything in your life." I nodded, trying to convey my seriousness as I took the card.

* * *

**I'm dying to know what you think of what happened in this chapter. Also, what do you think about the clue of Carlisle thinking Daniel looking familiar means?  
**


	20. The Weight of Business

**Chapter Twenty: The Weight of Business**

Carlisle's POV

Mr. Halterman set down his empty glass on the counter and looked at me with distaste before leaving. I was completely confused. One minute he was telling me how Bella wanted nothing to do with me and that he loved her then the next minute he was trying to push us together.

He _had _to have some sort of ulterior motive.

There was no doubt in my mind about that.

Intermission was almost over so I headed back to our box seats. Only Jasper and Alice were there.

"Emmett and Rose didn't tell us what happened. They just came in and dragged Edward out only telling him to hold his breath. So what's going on?" Alice said as she typed away on her cell phone.

"Bella is here."

"What! And you didn't tell me? You know I've been dying to see her in person." Jasper grabbed Alice's hand trying to convey that I was in no mood to hear her whining.

"She's with another man." I growled out.

"Oh." Alice said, her face completely stunned.

"Yeah, I know." The lights were starting to dim. I sat in my seat, slumping slightly as I pulled out my phone.

"So what are you going to do now?" Jasper whispered.

"I'm going to look him up, learn everything about him, and try to figure why she would want to be with him and not me."

"What do you mean look him up?"

"Considering he owns the hospital I work at I'm going to assume the internet can tell me a thing or two about him."

"She aims high." Alice said, a bit worried. I didn't respond.

My phone luckily had a good connection in the opera house. I googled Daniel Halterman and the first three links that popped up made me groan. The first was a Wikipedia page on him, second was a Forbes profile, and third was another Wikipedia page on the history of Google.

I clicked the first Wikipedia page. My eyes automatically went to the right column. There was a picture of him from a few years back. I skimmed the column. CEO of Halterman and Stone, Halterman Investing Firm, Star High Charity, the list went on. Both parents deceased. Alma mater: Harvard University. Net worth: 3.1 billion US$. Wife: Katherine (Kitty) Stone-Halterman. No children.

Alice was leaning over my shoulder, reading.

"Oh, we have stocks with them." Alice mumbled. Great.

I scrolled down and there was a picture of him receiving some award. There was a woman in her mid 30s standing next to him who I assumed was his wife. In the background Bella was smiling while looking at him.

There was a subsection on the joining of Halterman and Stone corporations. The separate groups had been constantly competing for the past hundred years until the two owners got married.

He was one of the original funders of Google.

Another subsection was labeled Philanthropy. There was a list of charities and causes including Battered Women's Shelters, Wounded Warriors Project, American Cancer Society, Task Force for Global Health, American Red Cross, and a program to help homeless people find jobs.

Related articles: Halterman and Stone, Forbes 500, History of Google, and Katherine (Kitty) Stone-Halterman.

I groaned.

He looked like a saint and corporate genius on paper.

We left the opera fifteen minutes before it ended. I told Jasper and Alice about Mr. Halterman's invitation and they insisted on going too. I planned on going there early so I could observe the two of them before I went to talk to Bella.

The Diamant Cigar Club was easy enough to find. Luckily Jasper had a very large wad of hundreds that bribed our way in considering it was a private club where membership was required for entry.

The Cigar Club was two stories with many leather chairs. The lights were dim and smoke lingered in the air making the whole place look hazy. In a few corners there were card and pool tables. There were pictures on the walls sometimes showcased famous people smoking in here. There were even a few presidents. One of them was of Mr. Halterman and Bella, clinking their glasses together. Most of the people already here looked like they just got out of work. All the bartenders and waiters were dressed sleekly in clean cut black suits or dresses. A few minutes after the opera was set to finish there was a surge of customers, still in their opera wear.

I ordered us a few cigars and drinks before we sat at a table in one of the darker corners of the room. I took off my bowtie, trying to appear more relaxed, even though I was stressed and impatience, wanting to see Bella. Jasper and Alice were having a quite conversation as I looked out through the crowd.

Ten minutes later they showed up. It was them and three other men. Bella had her arm laced with Mr. Halterman and they all were discussing the recent drop in the stock market. Once he sat in one of the leather armchairs he pulled Bella down so that she was sitting in his lap. She didn't even skip a beat in her little rant on consumerism. The other three sat in leather chairs making a tight knit square, all of them facing Mr. Halterman and Bella. A waitress came over asking about what drinks they wanted.

"Let me." Bella said before anyone else could order. "Wild Turkey Bourbon for Daniel, my usual ice tea, Theo I know you always get coke, and Bill is a New York Sour man, and Mr. Mack you strike me as a beer man, domestic, not import," she paused thinking, "you keep things simple so Miller Lite."

"How did you know?" The man across from her asked in a surprised voice. The other three men laughed.

"It's a secret." Bella winked at him.

"By secret Bella means she googled you." Daniel spoke up.

"Daniel, why must you always ruin my fun?" She said while punching him lightly. She turned back to Mr. Mack. "I always do research on potential clients. In the pictures where you are drinking, it's always Miller Lite." Bella admitted and Mr. Mack laughed. "Alas, I couldn't figure out which cigar brand you preferred, so you'll have to order that yourself."

They started critiquing the opera and all of them seemed relaxed. Mr. Halterman didn't say much and it was obvious that Bella was the charming one of the two. Once their cigars and drinks arrived Bella leaned over and lit the cigar for Mr. Mack. He glanced down to her chest and I held back a growl. She flirted lightly with all of them and I could tell she was buttering them up. Bella blew smoke rings, making them all laugh. She looked like she was in her element.

"Mr. Mack, may we be frank?" Bella said, leaning towards him. The other two men got up and left worldlessly, leaving just Bella, Mr. Halterman, and Mr. Mack. He glanced at the two retreating forms before nodding. "Quite honestly your corporation has been declining for the past seven years. It's bleeding money and would be a risky investment for us. We are willing to take you on, but there are going to be many stipulations. Daniel and I know you've been at the helm for just over twenty years, but things have changed since you took over Fuberman Technologies. We've looked over your records on the board meetings. Your opinion tends to go counter to that of your fellow board members and then you use your position to overrule them. I need you to ask yourself one thing: Do you care more about keeping yourself as president or do you care more about your company's success? We can turn around your company, but only if you step down. You don't have to answer now, but we'll have the paperwork sent to you by Tuesday." Bella ended her speech by standing and offering him a handshake. Mr. Mack seemed a bit shaken by her analysis. He stood with a blank expression before shaking both their hands and leaving.

"He's going to fold." Mr. Halterman said.

"I agree. You ready to go home, Daniel?"

"Not yet, I still need to rectify my losses from last weekend. I already reserved one of the pool tables for us."

"Fine, just don't bitch to me when you lose for the fifth time in a row." Bella said as she snuffed out her cigar. Mr. Halterman led her out of my line of sight, with his hand on the small of her back. There was still ten minutes until I was supposed to be here.

"That was intense." Alice said while looking at the spot they vacated.

"Yes, she's a brilliant woman. Any advice?"

"Considering we don't know what you did to piss her off, just don't do whatever that was again." Jasper said while lighting another cigar. I frowned.

"I wish alcohol effected us. I could really use some liquid courage right now." I set my full glass down and followed Bella's scent trail. She was bending over a pool table, pool cue in hand. There was the sharp crack of billiard balls slamming together. She straightened up, smiling as two of the striped balls went into the pockets. Her smile faltered when our eyes met.

* * *

**So even more is revealed about Bella and her... companion. What do you think their relationship is?  
**


	21. A Sighing Night

**Chapter Twenty-One: A Sighing Night  
**

Carlisle's POV

I felt a burst of courage from Jasper and I made a mental note to thank him later. Bella was scowling and she looked back and forth between Daniel and me as she put the puzzle pieces together.

"Really, Daniel? Have you not grown up at all since I met you?" Her grip on her pool stick tightened.

"Of course not. You wouldn't love me if I grew up." He walked over to her side of the table and kissed her lightly before giving me a look that practically screamed 'Don't fuck up again'. I nodded and he handed me his cue before walking away.

"I believe it's your turn." I said almost jokingly while gesturing to the pool table. She turned her back to me as she walked over to the right before leaning over to take her shot.

"You better not be staring at my ass." She said threateningly.

"Can't help it." I responded without thinking as I admired the view. I might have heard her chuckle almost silently, but I couldn't be sure. Memories of my personal peep show flooded to the front of my mind and I tried to brush them aside. The louder than usual cracking of billiard balls together caused a few patrons of the cigar club to turn our way. Bella turned towards me as she chalked the tip of the pool stick. She remained silent, scowl still in place marring her lovely visage. I took my shot, easily hitting one of the solid billiard balls into the top left pocket.

"Will you hear me out?" I asked while trying to rid the weakness from my voice.

"Well I kind of have to, Dr. Cullen, Daniel is my ride home and I'm sure he'll idly threaten not to drive me back if we don't talk." She looked over my shoulder to where I assume he was watching us from.

"I'd be more than happy to drive you home." I was tempted to say 'take you home' rather than 'drive you home', but I knew that would just make her even angrier at me.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have plans with Daniel tonight." I leaned back over the pool table to make my next shot. Her comment had me feeling slightly uneasy. Before I could strike the white ball again Bella spoke. "So why are you here, Dr. Cullen, interrupting my personal life?" I held back a cringe at her harsh tone of voice as I looked back at her.

"I wanted to say sorry for how I acted at the bar. It was completely inappropriate and demeaning. That's not the person I am. I really hope you can forgive me so that we can move past this." I had been beating myself up over my very big slip up and just apologizing lifted a bit of the guilt and sense of self deprecation from my shoulders.

"Really? And what exactly are you apologizing for? Destroying the little trust we had been building up, making me feel like a whore, ruining our friendship, or was it when you practically called me a prostitute? Tell me, Dr. Cullen, which one, if not all, are you referring to?" This time I couldn't hide my flinch and in the distance I heard Alice's little gasp. I took a step towards Bella and she took a step back, standing the pool stick in front of her as a makeshift barrier.

"I'm sorry, Bella, for all of those things. I acted so stupidly, maybe it was the beer?" I said quickly, without thinking.

"Oh, you mean the beer you barely touched?"

"You said that when you're around me your emotions just feel out of control. Well it's the same for me. I'm desperate for you. I felt like you were pulling away and it was breaking my heart. I would have said anything if I'd thought it'd make you stay." I didn't know how to convey my desperation and love for her.

"So you decided that acting like an asshole was the best course of action?" Before I could respond she sighed. "Look, Carlisle, I need some time to cool down and that's not to imply that I'm going to forgive you. I won't be back to my house till mid Monday so don't look for me there or try to get in contact with me." Bella put her pool cue on one of the racks on the wall. "Daniel, let's go home." As she walked towards him he gave me a questioning look. I shook my head no. He glared at me before looking at Bella with a large smile. She punched him on the arm lightly before she looped her arm through his.

I felt defeated and ashamed with myself as I walked over to Alice and Jasper.

"Harsh." Was all that Jasper said to me. I sat down heavily on the seat and picked up the useless glass.

"Jasper, Alice, I need you to do your old man a favor. I want you two to follow her until she comes back to her house, well the house that's next to mine at least." They hesitated to accept, but eventually agreed. "I want to know everything about their interactions, the good, the bad, and the ugly." Wordlessly they set off on their mission.

I leaned back in my seat with a sigh. I guess I'll just go back to my empty house…

* * *

**Next chapter is in Jasper's POV! I'm really excited to write it!  
**

**Question: Would you all be interested in an accompanying piece to this story about Bella's past?  
**


	22. The Silence in Between

**Chapter Twenty-Two: The Silence in Between  
**

**C-C-Combo Breaker:**

Jasper's POV

_"Jasper, Alice, I need you to do your old man a favor. I want you two to follow her until she comes back to her house, well the house that's next to mine at least." _

Bella and her male companion, Daniel, had a very silent car ride to a small house just outside of Seattle. Daniel was feeling nervous with just a bit of acceptance. Bella's emotions were an enigma though. I couldn't sense any of her emotions. She was either some sort of illusion, an emotionless robot, my gift was malfunctioning, or she was somehow concealing her emotions.

"Bel-"

"Tomorrow evening after you get back from work, that's when we'll talk about it. Being angry and frustrated at two of the only three men in my life just drains me physically and mentally." Daniel's emotions relaxed. "I'll be staying over an extra day." Her news made joy and love suddenly start radiating from him. "And don't get all excited just because I'm staying. It's a onetime only deal."

"You know you can stay as long as you like. Let's just get some rest." I couldn't see them, but I could hear them as they walked upstairs. Alice kept slipping in and out of visions.

"Can you get my zipper please? I'm still sore from our workout yesterday." Bella asked and I felt bad for Carlisle. He had already gone through so much and now to find his mate with another man... I still couldn't decipher exactly what their relationship was. I kept hearing the rustling of fabric. "Stop that. I'm still angry at you." Bella said while giggling.

"Fine." They briefly came back into my view only to disappear again. I had seen Bella holding up her ball gown with one arm and undoing her intricate hair style with the other. Daniel followed behind her, undoing the buttons of his shirt. The next time they went in front of a window Bella was wearing a loose silk shirt that almost looked modest compared to the lacy underwear that peeked out from beneath it. I could hear them brush their teeth and do what I assume was most human's nightly routines. A few minutes later there was more rustling of fabric and I figured they were slipping into a bed. Soon after both their heart rates and breathing slowed and evened out.

"That was strange." Alice said while looking at me.

I could only nod in agreement.

* * *

Daniel woke before Bella did and left the house wearing a suit and tie. Bella woke up a little after noon. She spent her day reading newspapers, watching the news, and researching different companies on the internet.

I was surprised Carlisle hadn't called us yet.

Around six Bella started making some vegetable filled meal. An hour later Daniel pulled in a sleek car that was different than the one he left in. Bella briefly paused in her cooking when she heard his car. When she didn't hear the thudding of a car door being closed she frowned.

"Man up and take what's coming to you, Daniel." Bella said to the empty house. Said person was staring blankly at the closed garage door. He was feeling apprehension, worry, and fear. "Don't make me come out there and drag you out myself." Bella threatened, even though Daniel couldn't hear. Finally he got out of the car with a long sigh.

"Lucy! I'm home!" He said in a falsely happy voice.

"Well Ricky, you've got some 'splainin to do." Bella's voice was laced with sarcasm and Daniel flinched. Bella sighed before turning away from the simmering stove and towards him. She held out her arms and he walked into them, resting his head on her shoulder. Bella wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just want you to be happy." He mumbled against her neck.

"I know, Daniel." They stayed like that a few minutes. "Go sit down. I made your favorite." Bella turned back to the stove. He started reading the economics section of the newspaper aloud without Bella's prompting. I had the feeling that this was their usual routine. "It's almost done." Daniel stood and grabbed two beers from the fridge. They ate in silence, but I could tell that Daniel was content.

"They're so domestic." Alice said. Our hands were laced together and her curiosity was still going strong.

"How's Kitty? I haven't talked to her in a while." Bella asked as she cut some of the vegetables on her plate.

"She's fine. We've been…" he hesitated.

"Thinking about having kids? I was wondering when Kitty would broach the subject." Daniel was surprised she knew.

"And what do you think about that?" He was very nervous.

"I think it's overdue. You are both getting old and I'm tired of being heir to your empire. That's more responsibility than I ever want." Bella took a big bite of her food. "I don't want to hold you back from living your life, Daniel." He started playing with his food.

"The same goes for you, Bella. Don't avoid love just on my account."

"Please not this conversation again." Bella groaned.

"Don't be a hypocrite." He said in an almost teasing voice.

"This is completely different. You and Kitty are married. I have no connections with Carlisle. I'll move forward, but not with him." Bella said curtly.

"You two have chemistry, Bella, it's almost palpable. I've grown to love Kitty, but we'll never have chemistry like that. Even if he screwed up once what you two could have together is more important than a single faux pas." He was becoming more confident as he spoke. "A few weeks after we first met you told me that I'm the only man you've had any romantic feelings towards. I know that look in your eyes Bella, you love him."

"I hardly know him."

"That doesn't mean you can't love him-"

"Have you called Tommy yet to make up for not coming to his birthday party?" Daniels emotions plummeted and he was full of guilt. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Bella let out a sad sigh. "We're the only family he has and you can't even look him in the eyes. I understand your reasons, but that doesn't make Tommy's feel any better. You know how I feel about the situation." Daniel stared at his plate for a few minutes completely still.

"I forget to tell you the monthly report on Charlie. Other than him getting a slight pay raise our informer says he's doing the same as last month." Daniel said in between bites. Bella hummed, telling him she heard him.

They were silent as they finished off their meals. Daniel took the empty dishes to the sink and started hand washing them as Bella read aloud the art's section of the newspaper. Afterwards they went into the living room and started discussing some of their investments for an hour. Daniel's mood steadily became more content. They watched the evening news together while cuddling. During a commercial Bella asked Daniel if he had remembered to take his heart pills at lunch. When he replied no she scolded him.

Alice is right. They are so domestic.

After an hour of them reading books in silence they headed upstairs to their room. He started undressing her and I turned, looking away. I could feel his lust mixed with reverence as the pieces of clothing started hitting the floor.

"No, you gave me a massage last weekend. It's my turn to give you one." Daniel said and Bella giggled. Daniel felt pride and content as Bella let out little moans during the massage. "Do you want to…" I couldn't hear a response. "See you do love him." Daniel teased.

"Oh shut up, let's just go to sleep."

* * *

**Reminder: Kitty is Daniel's wife. Who do you think Tommy is? New guesses on Daniel's and Bella's relationship?**


	23. Flowers for My Love

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Flowers for My Love  
**

Carlisle's Point of View

Waiting on Jasper and Alice to return with their report on Bella was probably one of the hardest waits in my long life. It even topped the feeling I had when I was waiting for Esme as I stood at the altar.

I called into work sick, unable to put up with the tedium of pretending to be human. If not for Bella volunteering there and having board meeting once a month at the hospital I would probably have quit that joyless job.

I need to come to terms with the relationship Bella has with Daniel, whatever relationship that may be. From what I saw their relationship was more than just that of lovers. Obviously they loved each other, but what kind of love was it?

My phone rang and at full speed I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dad, we're on our way over." Alice said in a neutral tone and it made me worry. "We're following Bella to make sure she gets there alright. See you soon."

"Okay." I murmured in reply before closing the phone. Shortly after I heard the crunching of gravel as Bella drove up the driveway. She slowed down as she got closer. Hopefully she saw the flower arrangement of pink roses and white lilies I left on her doorstep. Maybe the note I left her will sway her into forgiving me.

_Bella,_

_No words will ever express how sorry I am for making you feel like anything less than the goddess you are._

_-Carlisle_

I let out a little sigh of relief when she popped out the front of the house to grab the vase and note.

I was so caught up in watching her that I didn't even hear Alice and Jasper come in the house. They startled me when they walked into my study.

"You must have been really in your head if you didn't hear us let ourselves in." Jasper said while taking a seat. Alice sat next to him and their hands automatically laced together.

"The immediate world seems inconsequential now that Bella doesn't want to have anything to do with me." I said bleakly.

"Well I wouldn't say she doesn't want to have anything to do with you." Alice said and I perked up. "Not to get your hopes up, but Daniel thinks that Bella is in love with you. She's very insistent that she's not, almost like she's over compensating." She turned towards her husband. "Jasper, do you want me to tell him our findings or do you want to?"

"I can take care of this, darlin'." He looked up at me. "I didn't want to tell ya at the cigar club, but I can't sense any of her emotions. My gift is workin' fine and Alice tends to only see your lady as a blur so I believe that Bella is highly gifted." I nodded, taking in this new information. "That bein' said I can't tell ya how she felt when ya said sorry. I can tell you how Daniel felt though."

Jasper proceeded to tell me about every interaction Bella had with _that _man. The fact that they sounded like an old married couple didn't ease my worries in the least. The Tommy person she mentioned felt like a kick to the gut and I didn't know what to make of the little information Bella said about him. The way Jasper described the two's activities before bed made it quite clear that sex was a part of their relationship. That realization made me growl in anger and pain.

All the information they gathered just wasn't enough to help me make sense of the whole situation. It still didn't prove that Bella was a kept woman. She obviously played a big part in his company. Her vast wealth could derive from there…

As Jasper described the various emotions Daniel went through it almost seemed like he was dependent on her.

"Shit, Carlisle, I knew you had quite the view from this place, but I didn't think it was this good." Jasper said and I glanced out the window behind me. Bella was just in a sports bra and compression shorts as she attacked her punching bag. I growled at him for looking at my mate like that before I pulled the curtains close. "Sorry." He said sheepishly and Alice giggled, not in the least bit upset by him looking at another woman. Alice knew that Jasper would always be hers.

"So what do you think I should do? I already sent her flowers and a note. I also have it set for her favorite restaurant to deliver her favorite dish later tonight."

"I think it would be best if you didn't push too hard. Like she said she needs to cool down. Sending her flowers was good, but the dinner might be a bit much, although if I was her and a guy remembered my offhanded remark about liking a specific restaurant and dish I'd be really flattered." Alice mused. "Like Bella said, just give her some time to cool down. She's your mate. There is nothing in this world that would willingly make her stay away from you for much longer."

"Jasper?" I asked after considering Alice's answer.

"I agree with my wife." Jasper shrugged casually, but I could tell he was thinking deeply about the situation. "If she doesn't talk to you in three days send her some more flowers and another apology." I nodded and stood.

"Thanks kids. This really meant a lot to me." I gave both of them a hug and they left.

With a sigh I turned to watch Bella work out.

* * *

Three days passed and she hasn't said a word to me. I kept hearing Daniel's ringtone whenever she was home. They normally weren't in contact this much. On Thursday in the hospital she avoided me like the plague, even pretending like someone called her, giving her an excuse not talk to me. I sent her another vase, this time with sunflower and bluebells and another hand written note.

_Bella,_

_I know how you love flowers, but just don't have the time to grow them yourself. Hopefully these will brighten your day. _

_-Carlisle_

I didn't have work on Friday so I didn't get the chance to see Bella at the hospital. After a quick hunt it wasn't even midmorning yet. Rosalie and Emmett called to check on me, but I wasn't in a chatting mood so that only took up five minutes.

As usual Bella came home early since it was Friday. Her car was blasting out Welcome to the Jungle by Gun N' Roses as she sped up the gravel path. For a second I was gripped by terror when her car fishtailed before she corrected it. Through the tinted windows of her sports car she looked sad and it broke my heart.

I sat back in my seat in my study feeling exhausted from the brief scare. If I didn't change her into an immortal soon fate might take that choice from me.

_Well you've got me working so hard lately.  
Working my hands until they bleed.  
If I was twice the man I could be.  
I'd still be half of what you need  
Still you lead me and I follow  
Anything you ask you know I'll do._

I looked up, startled and I felt hope erupt in my chest as I recognized the ringtone I had set in one of my gloomy moments for whenever Bella sent me a text message. I ran to my room and flipped open the cell phone.

**Bella: Free to talk? Preferably face to face.**

**Carlisle: I'm free and at my house.**

Her response took three grueling minutes.

**Bella: Come over to my house please. Back door is open.**

The formality of her texts worried me, but at least we were actually talking. I slipped on a pair of shoes and had to stop myself from running full speed over to her house. I stopped at the back door and took a deep, calming breath.

I have the feeling that whatever happens tonight will either set my eternity on a course of happiness or set it on a path of endless torment.

* * *

**Song: Ring Finger by Nine Inch Nails. Please review!  
**


	24. Dreams of a Better Day

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Dreams of a Better Day**

Carlisle's POV

The door opened easily and Jake immediately ambushed me, jumping up on me and slobbering carelessly.

"Jake! Get over here." Bella said in a firm voice and the husky ran to her and I followed him. When I finally saw her I instantly felt more relaxed. She was curled up in an armchair with a cup of steaming tea in hand. "I just grabbed the kettle off the stove if you'd like some tea." She gestured to a teapot and upside-down mug.

"No thanks." I sat right across from her and I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to tell her everything, but knew that would just overwhelm her.

"I'd like to start by saying sorry for ignoring you these past few days. It was immature of me." She blew on her tea and I knew she was sincerely sorry. "I'd also like to thank you for the flowers and the food from Cantarellie's." Bella took a sip and cringed, burned. "I'll forgive you for being an idiot at the bar if you'll forgive me for ignoring you. Deal?"

"Deal." I said causing her to smile brightly before looking down at her cup shyly.

"Despite how angry you made me I still want to pursue a romantic relationship with you, if that's okay with you." Her sudden shyness was contagious and I could hardly meet her eyes without feeling giddy and embarrassed.

"I'd like that a lot, but I need to know this relationship is exclusive. I saw how that man held you. I don't think I could handle you being with another man. I need to know that you and Mr. Halterman are nothing more than friends." I held my breath, waiting for her response.

"Daniel and I are best friends. I won't lie to you, Carlisle. We used to be lovers not too long ago, but we've both put an end to that part of our relationship. He's a big part of my world both in my personal and professional life. In a way we are also business partners. If you're not okay with us being friends you are out of luck. I won't give him up just because you are jealous. I will swear to you though that Daniel and I are completely platonic. I would never stoop so low as to sleep with someone behind your back." She took another sip of her tea and she looked worried. "I normally spent my weekends informally doing work for Halterman Investing Firm as well as visiting Daniel. I use to stay over at one of his apartments, but not anymore. I'll drive back up here. I just-" She was at a loss for words and sighed in frustration. "I just really need you to understand that even though I am going to interact with Daniel that I'm going to be faithful to you." I took in everything she told me and I tried to remain calm.

"As much as it pains me to think of you two interacting after I saw how he held you I trust you, Bella. Daniel seems like an honorably man and I know how hard you try to make this world a better place. You would never do something that would hurt someone the way a betrayal would hurt me." Even though I knew they had an intense relationship I truly believe she would never cheat on me. That belief though is on shaky ground considering Bella had been sleeping with Daniel even though he is married.

"You have no idea what a relief that is for me to hear." Bella said as she stood up. I mirrored the motion and a second later Bella jumped into my arms. I felt euphoric as our lips met. "I've been meaning to do that for a while now." She whispered once we parted slightly. I couldn't bring myself to let her go and she didn't try to pull away. "I have to work on some files tonight then drop them off tomorrow morning, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date tomorrow?"

"I work the morning shift, but I'm free after two o'clock. Where do you want to go?" I asked and she was suddenly nervous again.

"I've never been to a zoo before. Seattle has one, I've just never gotten around to going there. I thought it would be a fun activity we could share together. So, yeah, will you go to the zoo with me?" She was blushing bright red, but also smiling.

"I would love to go to the zoo with you."

* * *

Through my morning shift I had a large smile. I kept imagining the different outcomes of our date tonight. Everything just seemed more optimistic now that she'd forgiven me. The world was brighter, birds were whistling show tunes, helping the sick was more gratifying! Even my morning wank was more pleasurable than usual.

I brought up a map of the Seattle zoo on my smart phone since I was on break and started thinking about all the different things we would do together. I really shouldn't be getting this worked up about our date. I'm sure if Edward could hear my thoughts right now he'd say I was acting like a teenage girl who won a date with her favorite pop star.

Hmm, they're having a show at seven on the snow leopard and her new cubs. I wonder if Bella would be interested in seeing it. They do look pretty cute-

My phone vibrated and Alice name popped up.

"Hey-"

"Dad! Something's wrong! I had a vision, it was raining and there was a bridge, but my vision was blurred so I'm not for sure- then the guardrail bent and there was blood and she was drowning-" I felt my chest clench painfully as I tried to decipher Alice's words.

"Slow down. Please don't tell me you're talking about Bella." I was already making my way out of the hospital.

"I'm pretty sure it's her, but I don't know where she is and from the location of the sun I'd say the vision is going to happen within the hour!"

"Describe the bridge."

"Uhm, green guardrails, two lane traffic each way, oh wait! There's a tower thing that says Ballard Bridge! Dad I'm so scared. I really think Bella's going to get into a really bad car crash and soon." Her voice was high pitched as I ran toward Seattle.

"I just decided to call her does that change your vision?"

"No."

"Shit. I'm going to try anyways. Call me if anything changes." I said as I started running toward Ballard Bridge.

* * *

Bella's phone kept going straight to voicemail. I've never been this afraid in my whole existence. Every cell in my body was screaming for me to move faster, to save her, even though I was already at my top speed.

It had taken way too long to reach Seattle and the rain had just started coming down in sheets. The bridge was so close, yet still far away. Just as it came into my sights I saw Bella's Bugatti Veyron start to cross it.

_She keeps Moet et Chandon  
In her pretty cabinet  
'Let them eat cake' she says  
Just like Marie Antoinette_

As always her music was blaring and she was humming happily along with the song. Just as I was a mile out it happened.

_A built-in remedy  
For Kruschev and Kennedy  
At anytime an invitation  
You can't decline_

A van driven by an older woman had three kids in it suddenly swerved left as one of its tires popped. It slammed straight into Bella's much smaller car. Her sports car smacked against the guardrail and my feet just wouldn't move me fast enough to get to her…

_Caviar and cigarettes  
Well versed in etiquette  
Extraordinarily nice_

The screeching of metal was heartbreaking as another car rammed into Bella's then another, sending her car over the bridge and into the water. I could hear her screams of pain and the spurting of her blood.

_She's a Killer Queen  
Gunpowder, gelatine  
Dynamite with a laser beam  
Guaranteed to blow your mind  
Anytime_

Just as her car hit the water I reached the bridge. Every bubble that escaped the car was a nail in the coffin.

_Recommended at the price  
Insatiable an appetite  
Wanna try?_

* * *

**Song: Killer Queen by Queen**

**Bad News: Hate to leave ya at a cliffhanger, but next week is exam week so I won't have any time to write/update. :( Sorry and wish me luck!  
**

**Oh, and what do you think of this chapter?  
**


	25. Life's Hard…

**Btw I changed it so that I update this every Friday instead of Thursday.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Life's Hard…**

I dove into the water and pushed myself forward. I could see the air quickly escaping from Bella's car. Her blood was coloring the water around her as she bled out. She was struggling against her seatbelt, but her movements were slow and clumsy. The lack of air was getting to her and she was losing too much blood. I tore off the flimsy metal door easily and our eyes met a second before they faded into unconsciousness.

The car hit the bottom of the river just as I pulled her out and gave her a breathe of air I had automatically held before I dove in. She would bleed out before she drowned though at the rate she was losing blood. I tried to staunch the wounds, but there were too many. A large gash on her right side was spurting blood and her femoral artery on her left leg wouldn't stop bleeding. They were both too deep for my venom to close without changing her.

I had no choice…

I bit into neck and pushed in as much venom as I could. A second later her eyes flew open and the remaining air in her lungs escaped as she let out a scream that the water muffled. Her eyes rolled backwards and she passed out, going limp again and scaring me. I could still faintly hear her heartbeat as I swam towards the shore.

I broke the surface of the water and glanced toward the bridge, another car hit the water, but I couldn't take time to try and save them too. Bella was too important and her blood was still coming out too fast.

Effortlessly I lifted her out of the water once I reached the shore. Her body was convulsing. I tied a tourniquet around her upper left leg and thanked every deity I knew for all my medical knowledge. In the distance I could hear multiple people on their cell phones calling 911. I had to move her. We were too exposed and the police could be here any moment. If she woke up her screams would lead them right to us.

I was surprised when she curled up against me as I lifted her. That wasn't the usual behavior of someone in excruciating pain.

There was a parking lot nearby and I easily broke into one of the cars and got it started. Overhearing Rosalie mumble about her cars finally paid off.

Bella's heart rate was slowing, but from what I have seen that normally happened immediately after being bitten and having vampire venom in their system. In a few minutes, if everything's going as it should, her heart rate should pick up and the screaming should start.

I kept her in my lap as I drove us out of the city, no exact destination in mind. I just need to get us somewhere she can change peacefully, well as peacefully as any change can be. I wish there was some drug that could dull the burn, but our venom was too strong and just burned through the drugs, destroying them and making the whole change last longer.

Bella started screaming and thrashing around suddenly, hitting the steering wheel and almost making me veer off the road. I definitely needed to find a place for us to hunker down until nightfall. I had to speed to avoid anyone seeing Bella in my car screaming, and I've only avoided any police that would try to pull me over through pure luck and the grace of God.

I reached into my pocket to call Alice, but my phone was smashed, probably from when I was running. I'd have to get in contact with her some other way. She never steers me wrong, especially in these sort of life and death situations.

Once I was out of the city I pulled the car into the tree line. I needed to call Alice, but I couldn't leave Bella alone. Bella's screams were making it hard to concentrate. I wanted to take away the pain that I knew was burning every fiber of her being.

I actively made a decision to say my location aloud. Hopefully she'll get the message.

Two hours later my prayers were answer, well the ones for Alice to help guide me at least. She pulled up in one of Emmett's jeeps. Rosalie was with her.

"I'm so sorry, Dad." Rose said when she saw my distress at Bella's pain. I shook my head, unable to really say anything. She helped me haul Bella's thrashing form into the jeep while Alice set the car I stole on fire. Bella's blood stained the driver's seat and it could be traced back to her, back to us.

Rose drove as Alice and I tried to calm Bella down. It was a futile effort, but I had to do something-anything in hopes of making her feel better. Every time she screamed out in agony I felt ashamed and guilty for putting her through this for my own selfish need to have her as my own.

She didn't deserve this pain, this torture. I should have just let her die. She would be in heaven by now if I hadn't interfered, eternal bliss and love. Maybe I should… No!

The thought of killing her to release her to the afterlife and this indescribable pain ran counter to all my instincts. My strongest instinct was to protect her. The pain she feels now will only make her stronger and make her more likely to survive.

She's going to hate me for doing this to her, for making her into a blood thirsty monster. I can feel it, but I can't let her go…

I hadn't even noticed how long we were driving until Rose stopped the car and turned off the engine.

"I need to refill the Jeep." She mumbled sadly as she pulled out a large gas can from the back.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Our house in Alberta. I had Edward run up there and start preparing it, Emmett just passed the Canadian border driving some essential things up, and Jasper is…" Alice hesitated. "Bella's change is going to have a few problems, but I've already set in motion things to counteract those problems." She said vaguely and I nodded, trusting her completely. I knew she didn't want me to worry more than I already was.

If Bella died… I don't think I'd be able to take it, knowing that I was close to having an eternity with her only to have it snatched away from me.

We got back on the road and I was more aware of my surroundings. Alice kept checking her small wrist watch and shifting in and out of visions. The slight look of strain on her face was making me worry.

"Rosalie, please speed up." Alice said emotionlessly. Their eyes met as the both looked in the rearview mirror, silently communicating. Rose stomped down on the gas, making the car go over three times the speed limit.

"Alice, what's going on?" I asked, the worry for my mate outweighing my trust in Alice. She looked at me sadly.

"The more the venom works its way into her system the harder it is for me to see her. After you first decided to bite her I had a vision of her heart stopping before she completely transformed. It isn't supposed to happen for another twelve hours, but now that I can't constantly be sure that any decisions we make doesn't shorten that time I just want to err on the side of caution by getting to the cabin faster. I had Jasper gather some equipment to keep her blood flowing."

"What equipment?"

"CPB pumps, a lot of them since the venom will deteriorate them after a few hours."

"You know that means I'll have to open her chest cavity up so I can attach the tubes directly to her heart." She nodded and it looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Dad. Her change is going to be a long and painful one."

* * *

**I am a cruel writer... **

**Tell me what ya think :D  
**


	26. And Then You Die

**Chapter Twenty-Six: …And Then You Die**

"By long you mean?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"A little over five days, the pumps don't work as fast as her heart does and we'll have to change them out often since your venom will break them, adding more time to the change." I shook my head. No, please God, don't do this to one of your purest children. She deserves bliss, not this prolonged burning Hell. "You have to be strong, Dad, in the end she will thank you. I know it. She's your mate. Even if she wanted to hate you she couldn't. Just think about all the good times you will have once she's settled into her new life." Alice tried to comfort me, but it didn't help.

Seven hours later we arrived at one of our houses. Emmett was sitting outside on the porch, a look of worry on his face. He ran up to us when the car finally stopped.

"I set up a room for her." He said.

"Where is Edward?" I asked, suddenly remembering his thirst for her blood. My eyes shifted in all directions, ready for an attack.

"He's heading back South so he can make up an excuse on why you left." Emmett said while looking at Bella. I growled at him and he took a step backward before I could compose myself.

"Sorry, which room?" He led me to the second floor, to one of the guest rooms. There were already three CPB pumps set up beside her bed.

"I'm going to go help Jasper get more pumps." Emmett said briefly before kissing Rosalie and disappearing. Alice and Rose left me alone in the room with Bella. Why did the world have to be so cruel? First all the torture Jasper, Esme, and Rose went through, Esme leaving me so harshly, now this… Was the Lord above really so set on testing my faith?

Perhaps He is just punishing me for bringing so many monsters into the world. To end Bella's life… would it be a gift, or just another sin that will send me Hell when the flames finally consume me?

"You have to be strong." I was so intent on my thoughts that I hadn't even heard Alice come back into the room. She was carrying fresh clothing for me. I glanced down at my own attire. It was bloodstained and torn. I nodded at her mutely. She put the clothes on one of the seats before touching Bella's cheek softly then leaving.

Hours slowly passed, the girls periodically checking on us. Bella's heartbeat was erratic. I prayed to God to let her change be quick and without hindrance.

Maybe this was His way of righting the world? Of welcoming her to the pearly gates without having me sin against the other half of my soul by killing her. I wish He would just give me a sign, tell me what's right. Should I continue with this unnatural course or let her life fade away?

I squeezed my head in frustration; her screams and my own inner turmoil were shredding me apart. I could take her out of her pain with just a snap of her neck… My thoughts just kept circling, never coming to a conclusion. Of all of God's creations why does Bella have to go through this torture? Maybe I really shou- Bella's heart suddenly stopped, along with her screams.

I acted without thought, purely on instinct. There was no tool strong enough to cut through vampire flesh, even when it was still converting so I had to use my fingernails to cut through her skin. Her ribs and sternum hadn't started to change so they were easy to pull apart, opening Bella's ribcage like a book. Rose and Alice were suddenly at my side, holding the pump and helping me apply it. When we finally had it set up a few seconds later Bella started screaming again, arms and legs thrashing. Alice tried holding her still while I closed her chest, tubes sticking out. The skin healed almost instantly around the protrusions. One of her arms broke out of Alice's hold and I caught it a second before Bella could scratch at the foreign object.

Luckily Bella hadn't acquired her vamperic strength yet so we were able to strap her down with some industrial strength metal cables. Alice said that halfway through day three the cables will be too weak to withstand Bella's new strength.

I took a step backward and dry wretched. This was so wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this, Bella tied to a bed with cables, tubes sticking out of her chest, and eyes wide as she screamed her lungs out. It looked like she was some cruel science experiment. This was all just so inhumane. I was taking her humanity in the most painful manner known, but I'm too deep in now, too committed. I can't live without her, even if it made me a monster.

* * *

Every eight hours we had to change the pump out for a new one, every eight hours I had to slice open her chest, every eight hours I had to tear her ribcage down the middle, and pull it apart. I didn't trust anyone else to do the delicate procedure accurately and I was afraid I'd attack them if I saw them hurting her, hurting her the way I was. Every time it got physically and emotionally harder as the venom took hold and strengthened her.

We all took turns in pairs holding her down so she wouldn't rip out the tubes keeping her alive, keeping my venom circulating.

I was just thankful that she wasn't coherent. If our eyes met, begging me to end her pain I don't think I could deny her.

The fifth day came around and I felt like I could barely move, my guilt was so immense, yet every time the pump stopped a jolt of electricity made me spring into action. The pumps could hardly take the corrosiveness of my venom at this point. Alice couldn't see Bella's future anymore. I attributed that, well hoped that was because Bella had a gift. If Alice's earlier vision holds true the change should be over soon.

Seven hours and three pump changes later Bella's screams suddenly stopped. Alice and Rosalie let go of her and stepped back. She was panting and her eyes were squeezed shut.

"Please no, please no more." She whispered, covering her face with her hands. I didn't know how to respond. Her hand drifted down to the tubes before she pulled them out with a single jerking motions. She rolled onto her side and into the fetal position. "Help me Daniel, Carlisle…" She dry sobbed, pressing herself into the covers of the bed. I cringed at both her words and actions.

"I'm here, Bella, it's over. You don't have to feel any more pain." I crooned, taking a step towards her. She flinched and I stopped moving.

"It burns." She whispered through her sobs.

"It's over now, Bella. Please look at me." I begged her, afraid of her reaction.

"No, my chest and stomach, they burn." I made eye contact with Alice. She shrugged, just as baffled as I was. "It feels like a white hot snake is just slithering in my stomach. Daniel, please make it stop, Carlisle, do something."

"It's just the venom Bella, it will stop soon. You just have to give it time." I said with more confidence than I was feeling.

"Venom? What-" I could tell she was struggling for words. "Just get Daniel. He'll stop the pain." Her eyes were still squeezed shut.

"I'm sorry, Bella, you were in a car accident." I sat down beside her on the bed and she flinched then relaxed slightly when I put my hand on her arm.

"Yeah, the bridge I remember, just get Dani-You were there too Carlisle." She nuzzled my hand as she spoke. "The fire is cooling." She let out a shaky sigh. "When is he going to get here? They need to know I'm okay. Tommy will be devastated when he hears what happened, but Daniel won't tell him till he knows for sure that I'm alright." She still hadn't opened her eyes. I didn't know what to say. I glanced at Alice and Rose, but their eyes were diverted, giving me no help.

"Bella, Daniel isn't coming." I said, too scared to tell her the cause.

"Wha-" Her eyes flashed open and she froze. In a quick movement she was standing with her back to the wall. "What is this place, why am I not at a hospital, why is everything in HD, who are these two women, why isn't Daniel coming?" Bella asked rapidly, slurring the questions together. Her eyes kept flicking in all directions. "Carlisle, what's going on?" I stood and tried to approach her, but it only made her shrink back more.

"I'm sorry, Bella, you were going to die. I had to do something. I couldn't lose you." I begged her to understand. "I had to change you into one of us, into a vampire."

* * *

**So be honest, if you knew nothing about the vampire world and went through that torture how would you react? Would it be that different from Bella's reaction?  
**

**Btw I posted the first chapter of the accompanying piece to this story about Bella's past. It's called: A Teaspoon of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down. Check it out.  
**


	27. Untitled

**Dear Risika, I meant to respond in the last chapter, but I forgot. There is an automatic feeder for her dog, because if ya have the money, why not? Daniel has Jake.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Untitled  
**

"I-I don't understand. What are you talking about, Carlisle? Are you drunk?" Bella pressed herself more firmly against the wall, causing it to crack. At the startlingly loud noise she jumped the ten foot distance back onto the bed. "How did I just…" She started breathing fast.

"Bella please calm down. I'll explain everything if you just sit down and let me talk." I tried to say calmingly. She bit her bottom lip hard and sat on the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. "In this world there are more than just humans, there are also vampires. I was once human and I didn't choose to become a vampire, but I've embraced it. When I was trying to rescue you I saw that you were losing too much blood. I couldn't let you die." I cleared my throat, trying to not let my voice crack. I could tell she was holding back her questions. "These two women are Alice and Rose, two of my kids, also vampires." They both waved with hesitant smiles. Bella just looked at them and didn't respond. "Girls why don't you give Bella and I some time to discuss things?"

"Alright, Dad." Rose said before nodding at Bella and leaving with Alice. I held back a sigh.

"As to your question about why we're not in a hospital as a vampire you can never get sick and our healing rate is very fast. We're in Canada right now, in one of my houses." I didn't want to tell her about where we were, but I couldn't lie to her now that she was no longer human.

"Canada, why the hell are we in Canada?" Bella shouted, standing back up. She started pacing. "Please just give me a phone. Daniel needs to know I'm okay." She begged me and I felt my heart break a little bit. I could see the unadulterated fear in her eyes. She was scared of _me_, her mate. I could tell that fear was making her spiral out of control.

"Just please listen to me. You can't call Daniel, for his own safety." Her fright quickly morphed to anger

"Are you threatening Daniel!?" Her already dark eyes turned black.

"No, you're a vampire now-"

"And what was that horrible pain? Did you do that to me too?"

"It had to be done-"

"You put me through that-that- living hell! I've never experienced that much pain before! That constant boiling in my veins as if I was having a blood transfusion of acid!" She sat on the bed with her back to me, shoulders slumped. "Before you did whatever it is that you did to me," her voice was just a whisper, "the worse pain I ever felt was when I broke my leg. This was so much worse… I can't even compare them. It's like trying to describe colors to a blind man…" She started sobbing. "Why would you do that to me, Carlisle?"

I couldn't answer her, the memories of my own change flooding my mind. I am such a monster, to torture an angel for my own personal gain. If I wasn't condemned to Hell before I was now.

"I can't live without you. You were going to die." I said feebly. If she could just understand the depth that I need her, the connection that we have... Even now I could feel the mating pull towards her.

"You need me?" She whispered, still not turning towards me.

"Yes." I said while sighing, an ounce of hope made me feel lighter.

"You don't know what it means to need someone." Her voice was dead serious. "I want to leave, so unless you're holding me hostage…" I was tongue-tied, luckily someone knocked on the door. Before I could answer Jasper walked into the room.

"Dad, maybe you should take a break and check on Edward's progress." I wanted to stay with Bella, but Jasper was giving me a look that practically shouted at me to leave. "I'd like to meet Bella anyways." I nodded, feeling completely drained.

"Bella this is Jasper and Jasper this is Bella."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Bella said in a monotone.

"I'll be downstairs." I waited for her to respond, but she didn't say anything. I shouldn't be surprised. She hates me. As I was walking out I saw Jasper pull up my chair and sit across from Bella.

"I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain, Miss Bella. For most folks it doesn't last that long, but you are a rather unique individual." Jasper said with a heavy accent as I walked downstairs, still able to hear them perfectly. If Bella responded it was nonverbally. "When I was your age, years wise, I had to deal with a lot of people going through the change from human to vampire."

"There's no such things as vampires, no monsters hiding beneath my bed, or Santa Claus."

"Sorry Darlin' I wish vampires weren't real too, but wishes don't always come true. You're an immortal, beautiful, and deadly creature now. There's no way to soften the truth of that." I heard shuffling. "The venom that burned you also changed you into a nearly indestructible being. Look."

"I look the same, but-God, what did you people do to my eyes? Why are they red?"

"Because you are a vampire. Once you start sticking to our lifestyle they'll turn golden like my own and Carlisle's."

"Lifestyle?" Bella asked and Jasper didn't answer immediately.

"Yes, most vampires hunt humans but we stick to the diet of just hunting animals."

"What do you mean hunt humans?" Once again Jasper paused before answering her.

"Just like in the old stories we live off blood. That scratching in your throat is because you are thirsty for blood."

"Will the irritated feeling ever stop?"

"Not entirely. It will lessen after your hunt, but we always crave human blood on some level. That's part of the reason why you can't see Daniel, you'd kill him instantaneously. You won't be able to control yourself around humans until some training, even then there's always the chance…"

"So what you're saying is that I'm a monster?"

"Some would describe us as such, but just like humans we have free will. Other than in your body do you feel any different?"

"My mind is moving a lot faster than it did before and I feel chaotic, yet at the same time it feels like a fog has been lifted, like I had a cold all my life and can finally think clearly since the fever broke." She sighed shakily. "I am still me on the inside, but everything around me feels, smells, sounds, and looks different. It's like I'm in a different body."

"Everyone in this house has been there, but at least you have a family that can support you and knows how to help." They were silent and my curiosity about what was going through Bella's head was killing me. Three minutes later Bella finally responded.

"Family?" Her voice was hesitant and almost silent.

"Yeah, we're a family." I could almost see Jasper's charismatic smile as he spoke.

"Get out." I was startled by the harshness of her voice. Jasper didn't move. "Get out!" Bella screamed at him. "You're no family of mine! Daniel is my family! Tommy is my family! Not you people!"

* * *

**So... Bella isn't too happy. **


	28. No Peace

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: No Peace**

Three hours after Jasper was kicked out of the room Bella still hadn't made a sound or moved. Alice had knocked on the door earlier, but when she tried to open it, it was locked. I was sitting downstairs with Rosalie and Emmett, twiddling my thumbs like an idiot. I was probably the last person she wanted to see in the world.

"This is ridiculous!" Rose hissed before standing and stomping up the stairs. I reluctantly followed her in case she went too far with whatever it was she was about to do. Without even knocking first Rosalie broke down the door to Bella's room. She took in a large breath of air to start shouting at my mate, but stopped when she saw her. Bella had her head buried under pillows and her shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. Rosalie glared at me and gestured for me to leave.

I retreated back downstairs. I heard the springs of the bed squeak slightly as more weight was applied to them.

"Shh, please don't cry." Rosalie whispered. "I know this life can be hard to adjust to at first. I promise you it gets easier. You were going to die. Carlisle had to make a difficult decision, but it was the right one. It may seem hard, but you have to embrace this life as a second chance. There are so many positives to this life. You can hardly imagine the world I have seen through my new eyes. Don't get me wrong there are down sides… but please just trust me when I say that in the end it all will be worth it."

I silently sighed. If only I could take away all her pain and despair. She could be in heaven right now instead of this flawed world.

"Dad, Edward is going to call in a few minutes." Alice whispered as she handed me her phone. I nodded mutely and started to walk outside, worried about Bella overhearing a possibly upsetting conversation. Four minutes later the cell phone lit up and Edward's name appeared.

"Edward."

"Hey, Dad." I could hear the false cheerfulness in his voice. I'm sure Alice has been keeping him posted on everything that has been happening. "So people are starting to get a bit suspicious about your absence down here, especially since you didn't help with the search effort for Bella considering your budding relationship with her." He paused. "The funeral is tomorrow. It would be strange if your 'family emergency' lasted much longer. I think you should make an appearance at the funeral, alleviate some of the suspicion." I leaned against a tree, thinking. A large clump of snow fell down from the branches above, missing me by an inch.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I should wrap up things there." I said solemnly and we both fell into silence.

"I don't think there is anything else I can do down here. Is it all right if I head up to Canada and get settled in?"

"Of course, Edward." I hung up the phone, completely forlorn at the thought of attending her funereal.

* * *

The run back to Washington was anything but relaxing. I couldn't get Bella's despair out of my head. My selfish need for her had caused her so much pain. If only I could make her understand.

I arrived at my old house all too soon. I tried not to think about how desolate it felt now that I knew Bella wasn't just down the hill. I still had a few hours before the funeral and I didn't know how to spend them.

How had things come to this? Me sitting in a dark study alone, feeling like complete shit, my mate in a different country, as she hates what she has become, what I have made her.

The hands on my clock dragged by. I couldn't stay here, just thinking. It would drive me mad, madder than I already was about Bella's loss.

What did I truly know about her other than her love of working out, charity work, and for God's sake who was Tommy? I should know everything about her. I'm her _mate_.

I was tempted to break into her house to find the answers, but to what end? To steal more from her, to steal secrets she has not yet deemed me worthy to know the truth of. She was already angry enough at me as is. To come back to her knowing more than when I left, would she see it in my eyes? I'm sure she could already see my guilt, or was her anger obscuring her sight?

My phone rang, breaking my train of thoughts.

"Yes?"

"If you don't start moving soon you're going to miss the funeral." Alice said and I could hear a piano playing in the background. Had I really been sitting here for that long? I glanced at the clock. I guess I had.

"Thanks." I hung up and quickly got dressed into proper attire. Luckily Edward had driven my car back from the hospital, giving me a more human way of transportation, rather than just running.

I found it only fitting that a storm quite similar to the one that helped propel Bella off that bridge started brewing as I drove to her funeral. I was surprised by the grandeur of the church as I pulled my car up. I didn't even know there was a place like this in Washington.

I felt like throwing up as I walked into the church. At the very front there was a coffin that looked like it was made of ebony surrounded by pictures of Bella and flowers. I looked around and realized I didn't recognize anyone here. I'd only ever really met two of her friends. There were many men and women who had prosthetics on, probably from where she volunteered. A warm hand touched my shoulder and I flinched.

Dhalia, Bella's designer friend, had tears in her eyes as I turned around.

"I just can't believe it." She whispered and I nodded in agreement, not really knowing what to say. She wiped away a stray tear that escaped before leaving to find a seat. I sat in the very back of the pews. More and more people just kept pouring in and the pictures and flowers in the front kept accumulating.

Half an hour later the service began. The priest said a few brief words before inviting people to share how Bella changed their lives. There was story after story about how she helped someone out of depression, with their new prosthetic, read to the elderly, provided start up money for many small business, and even just drove a kid to school when his mother had a stroke.

I felt guilt settle in the pit of my stomach even though she would have been taken from them regardless of my actions. If only I had been just minutes faster. I noticed that Daniel never spoke or shared a story even though I could see him in the very first pew.

I recognized one man as Bella's gardener as he stood up. For the first time I realized that both his legs were prosthetics.

"Bella's face was the first thing I saw when I woke up from my coma." The man began, his voice breaking. "I didn't know her back then. The last thing I remembered was the blast of an IED and the screams and the next thing I knew I was looking into the eyes of an angel." He took in a shaky breath. "I don't think I could have made it this far without her. She focused me away from my suicidal thoughts and to a more productive life. She saved everything that I hold dear and now I'll never be able to repay her for all she did." He broke down like so many before him and was helped back to his seat by the priest.

* * *

**A bit more on Bella's past and the life she is leaving behind. Did I make ya shed a tear? Please send me your thoughts! **


	29. Family

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Family**

The procession to the graveyard behind the church was filled with weeps. Most of them didn't have umbrellas and I could tell they didn't care they were getting soaked to the bone, they were all too focused on laying Bella to rest, too focused on putting an empty casket into the earth.

I nearly broke down when I saw her tombstone. It was of her, but with angel wings. She was supposed to be with Him now, but instead she was in Canada weeping over her lost life. The priest said a few more words and led a prayer before her coffin was lowered down. All I could do was stare at her tombstone.

Slowly people left, but I couldn't bring myself to go. Eventually there was only me and a handful of other people standing there in silence. I glanced at the others. Daniel's eyes met mine from across the gaping hole. There was no suspicion or hatred directed at me, only shared misery. He had no idea that I saved her and consequently damned her. His eyes dropped back down to the muddy hole and a clap of thunder echoed in the graveyard.

My eyes drifted to the left and I suddenly realized why Daniel looked so familiar. It wasn't because I had seen his picture in the hospital or him before. The reason I recognized him was standing right beside him, it was the gardener. I felt stupid for not noticing it earlier. Their resemblance was faint, but now that I made the connection it was obvious. They were brothers.

The contrasts between the two were startling. Daniel looked ten years younger than him, but I suspected they were closer in age than that. The gardener looked gruff in his three piece suit while his brother, despite his obvious grief, looked sleek, like he belonged in a suit. Daniel seemed fit while the gardener looked out of shape and tired. The most obvious difference though was the pain they were forecasting. Daniel looked emotionally pained while the gardener looked both emotionally and physically pained, like he was about to die.

The gardener suddenly swung around and socked Daniel right on the jaw causing him to fall on the ground.

"You were supposed to protect her." He whispered before walking back to the church, leaving Daniel sitting in the mud. I walked around to him, avoiding looking at the coffin and statue; they suddenly made me feel ill.

I offered Daniel a hand to help him up and he accepted it with a grim smile. There were no words we could exchange. We were two men in mourning over the same woman. He had lost her, but at least I still had some part of her, even if she wouldn't have me.

We parted with a brief nod before I went to my car and tried to not look back.

* * *

I could hear the piano playing as I pulled in front of our cabin in Canada. I was afraid of what I was going to see when I went in. Would Bella look at me with hate in her eyes? Would she know I just saw Daniel? Would she scorn me for all I've done?

I contemplated all the many ways she could reject me, throw me out of her life and never look back...

Why the hell am I think of all this? I just need to man up and go in there. What she thinks or does is out of my control. All I can do is pray and try to make her understand.

When I walked into the house my eyes automatically gravitated toward Bella. She was sitting curled up on the piano bench, eyes closed as she listened to Edward play. She almost looked relax, if not for the furrow of pain between her brows. Edward nodded at me, not missing a single beat in the song. I glanced around the room. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be seen. Jasper and Alice were snuggling on the couch as they both read separate books. Jasper gave me a pointed look, telling me to come with him. I suppressed a sigh and followed him to the backyard.

"So after you left we convinced her to go on a hunt with us." Jasper said in a hushed voice. "She did pretty well for her first time. When we got back Edward was playing his piano. Bella mumbled something about Daniel always playing for her and sat beside him. She hasn't said a word since or moved. Rose and Emmett went shopping to get her clothes and some stuff for her room." Jasper hesitated.

"What is it?" I asked, worried out of my mind.

"We have a bit of a problem. Esme called me earlier. She and Robert are having a hard time controlling the kid they changed. He lost all his memories from his human life and has already killed two humans. Along with that apparently he has a rather difficult gift. They're in Denali and asked if I could come up there or they come here so I could help. I know you're still torn up about her, but I think it is best that they come here. It probably will help if Bella sees someone in her situation, sees that she's not the only one to go through this. I didn't give them an answer though. I was waiting for your opinion before I called them back, to see if you'd be okay with that." I didn't respond immediately, startled by his news. I had completely forgotten they were starting their own family.

"My feelings for her evaporated when I started falling for Bella. I only feel the betrayal now. I'd be fine with them coming here, but someone needs to ask Bella's permission first. She's my chief concern. If she doesn't want them here than they're not welcomed." I said resolutely.

"I'll ask her. I think she trusts me a bit, despite all my scars." Jasper's voice drifted off and I could tell he was thinking about his nightmare like past. "She still has the CPB pump in her chest."

"I know, her venom will dissolve it though." He nodded at my response before going back inside.

"Hey, Bella can we talk real quick?" Jasper asked as I stood in the kitchen, watching them out of the corner of my eyes. Bella looked at him with tired eyes and nodded her chin slightly. "You know Carlisle was married before?" She nodded again. "Well she remarried and they decided to change someone." Bella growled, whether it was at Esme for remarrying or changing someone was a mystery. "He gave them permission to change him." Jasper offered and she stopped growling. "Well, they're having a hard time controlling him. He has already killed two people." Bella flinched. "I'm experienced with new vampires and she wants to come up here for my help. The rest of us are fine with it, but if you're not they don't have to come." The look on Bella's face softened.

"Of course they can come here. Don't deny them help on my account. If you can do something to solve their problems you should do it." Bella said kindly. I felt my heart lighten only to have it stabbed with her next words. "This isn't even my home, so I don't even know why you're asking me."

* * *

**Surprised by this this twist of Esme and her new family soon to show up? Anyone see it coming? Do you like this twist?**

**BTW I posted a one-shot. Feel free to check it out.  
**


	30. Something Old and Something New

**Chapter Thirty: Something Old and Something New**

It was hard, seeing Bella drift around the house. She moved more silently than most and I could tell that the kids were having a hard time not being able to sense her with their gifts. Alice in particular was struggling, not being able to see any of Bella's future. It was difficult to sense her presence, only her scent gave her away and her rare whispers as she exchanged words with everyone but me.

It had barely been a week since her change concluded and her purposeful avoidance of my felt like torture. At least she was subtle. When I entered a room she would look away, towards a book she was reading, or simply out a window.

I could see the little furrow of pain that seemed ever present on her brow. She missed them, Daniel and Tommy. She missed her old life that would have been gone regardless of my actions. At least now I didn't have to suffer from her absents, but then again I was suffering from her scorn. She had cast me out from her heart and from the looks of it from her mind as well.

My beautiful mate only asked Jasper and Edward to accompany her when she went for a hunt. I felt so jealous of them every time she came to them. I overheard Jasper talking to Alice about how strange, yet refreshing it was to not have a vampire shy away from him due to his many scars. It gave me a twinge of happiness knowing how special my mate is, how accepting of others despite their appearances.

I felt a nervousness creeping into me. Esme and her family were set to arrive tomorrow. I hadn't seen her since she left me. My feelings for her were gone, but the pain of her actions still remained. I was worried about how her presence would affect Bella.

"I just don't know." Bella's angelic voice caught my attention. Despite her whispering it always seemed to drift into my ears. "I really want to but I don't think it's good for me. It will only cause me pain."

"I think you should do it. You don't have to let such a large part of your life go, even if you had to leave it behind. Besides, it's good to keep up with the human world." Edward said back. "You should also talk to Alice about it. This is her area of expertise." Bella laughed and it made my heart soar. It had been so long since I heard it. It sounded exactly the same as when she was human.

"I don't want to know the future, Edward. I want to do my own analysis and come to my own conclusions. I like challenging myself and now that I can't challenge myself physically anymore…" Her voice drifted and I could hear her sadness, "I have to do so mentally."

"I guess that makes sense. Are these all the ones you want me to order?"

"Hmm, oh and I need the Wall Street Journal and the Financial Times. I can't believe I nearly forgot those ones. Are you sure it won't be too much of a bother?" She asked and he laughed.

"It's no bother at all. I don't even have to leave the house to get you subscribed to all these newspapers and magazines." I could hear typing on a keyboard.

"Thanks… It's really nice to have a friend." I could barely hear her voice.

"You know there are other people here who want to be your friend." Edward said, not at all slyly.

"I don't want to talk about that, talk about him."

"Bella-"

"I don't think you understand what an eternity on this planet means to me. I understand and I'm trying to accept the concept of all those that I love, Daniel, Tommy, Kitty, dying and only being a flash in my long existence. I'm really trying. But when my mom died…" Bella's voice broke and I felt agony. "When she went to heaven I was always comforted in the fact that in seventy years or so I would see her again in heaven. She has always been my best friend. Now with an eternity in my way I'll never see her again." Edward didn't respond to her immediately and I just wanted to hold Bella and try to make her feel better.

The day drifted away slowly into the next one. I couldn't bring myself to leave my study. Seeing Bella turn away from me was just too painful. Someone knocked on my door and I perked up. Jasper walked in without prompting.

"Hey, Alice told me Esme, Robert, and Ryan will be here in five." Jasper said while looking out the window and into the forest. "I know it's going to be awkward for the both of you, but it would be less so if you welcomed them here instead of holing yourself up here." I sighed. He was right of course, but that didn't give me any motivation to move. "Anyways, I can tell even without my gift that Bella feels guilty for making you feel so down. You might not be her favorite person right now, but she does care about you. She has enough on her plate right now without you adding your despair to it." He paused and I felt a rush of guilt. "Don't, just don't. Guilt tends not to help. Just do your best so that Bella can start loving this new life, this new opportunity."

"I'll try, for her." I stood and headed downstairs with Jasper beside me. The rest of the family was already there standing on the front porch, I assume on Alice's prompting. Subtly I looked to where Bella was standing. Her eyes were downcast towards her bare feet. They slowly moved up and to the hidden sun before suddenly flashing to my own. I froze in place, caught gazing at her. She didn't look away and I couldn't read her expression.

Her eyes, her lovely eyes. My venom had changed them into a harsh red instead of a calming brown. I just had to remind myself that one day they would be a golden honey shade and be looking at me with as much love as I felt for her.

The moment was broken when the sounds of quick footsteps flitting across the snow covered landscape came into our range. Bella went back to looking into the forest and to the three approaching vampires. I could tell that their quick dash towards us was setting off her newborn instincts to flee. I wanted to whisper comforting words to her, but couldn't. Luckily Edward gave her a pat on the shoulder and a kind smile. She smiled hesitantly back and I was both pleased that she was less on edge, yet I was also jealous that Edward was closer to my mate than I was.

A fury I didn't know I possessed flared to life as I saw the man Esme left me for. I had to bite my tongue to stop from growling. Jasper's gift hit me hard and I felt calm smother my anger. I breathed out, startled. I forgot how intense his gift could be.

I looked towards the boy who we were supposed to help. He looked younger than the eighteen years Edward claimed he was.

They were running in a tight formation with Ryan in the middle, closely monitored by Esme and Robert. Esme's eyes lit up when she saw her children. I knew the kids visited her on occasion so it couldn't have been more than two years since she saw them last, but she was their mother and loved them all like any mother should.

I felt my instincts go off as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I quickly glanced towards Bella only to find her staring at me intently. When our eyes met she quickly looked away. Perhaps I hadn't been cast out of her thoughts completely.

"It's so good to see you all!" Esme said to the kids as she came to a halt in front of them. Alice ran into her arms with a happy squeak of a scream as they hugged. They all started exchanging happy words and 'I love yous'. Even Robert was giving hugs to the kids, my kids. Ryan was standing outside of the small circle that had formed. I looked around and realized Bella and I were also outside of this happy circle of homecoming. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Ryan." Esme's voice was timid. She had always been cautious when it came to the kids. I had a feeling she really just wanted us to accept him as she and her husband had. He gave a small wave as a hello. The kids, excluding Jasper, all moved at once to go meet him and he stepped back away from them.

"Give him some room you guys." Jasper said, his accent slipping out. They backed off and Esme sighed. Robert grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. She looked at him and smiled. Jasper walked over and nudged me forward. I really didn't know what to say or do to make them feel welcomed.

"I hope your trip went according to plan." I said and Esme tensed up. She hadn't looked in my direction at all, focusing solely on the kids and her new family.

"Yeah, we only hit a few snags." She looked at me and I could plainly read guilt on her face, whether it was from how she left me or something else was beyond me. "I guess you two haven't met." Esme mumbled. "Robert this is Carlisle, Carlisle this is Robert." The man that stole the once most important piece of my life stepped forward with his hand offered. I shook it and refrained from squeezing it as hard as I wanted to.

"It's nice to meet you." He said and I only nodded in response. I felt a chill as Bella brushed past me, our skin just barely touching as she went towards Robert and Esme.

"Hello, I'm Bella." She put on the smile I remembered she used on her clients at the cigar club, a fake, yet stunning smile. She shook Robert's hand before moving on. "And you must be Esme. I've heard a bit about you." Esme laughed nervously as she shook Bella's hand. Bella walked past her before she could respond. I tensed as Bella headed in the direction of Ryan. He was a newborn, and dangerous. She stopped a few paces away from him, her hands in her pockets, completely relaxed. His shoulders were tense and I could tell Jasper was worried from the way he edged forward slightly. "Hey." Bella said simply.

"Hey." His shoulders relaxed slightly and stance became less rigid. A breeze blew by and Bella looked towards it and the forest, breathing in deeply. He followed her line of sight and unconsciously mimicked her tranquil body language. She was just so composed, especially for a newborn.

"The snow seems to dull all the scents of the forest and at the same time sweeps away the smell of pollutants, leaving behind only the scent of the evergreens." She took in another deep breath and he did the same. "With just us out here it looks like a dream, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Ryan's voice sounded like he was mesmerized. They stood like that for a minute, none of us wanted to interrupt them. Bella looked back at him.

"Want me to show you your room?" She asked and Ryan agreed to her offer silently with a nod. Bella turned her back to him and led him to the side entrance of the house, steering him away from our large group. I watched on in amazement. Bella had just handled that newborn like she'd been doing it all her life. I looked to Jasper giving him a perplexed look. He shrugged, looking just as confused as I felt.

My mate was truly remarkable.

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**I really enjoyed writing this updates might slow down due to the new semester starting, but I'll try to keep pace.  
**

**What do you think of Bella's reason for not liking eternity and how she handled Esme and Ryan?  
**


	31. A Clash

**Sorry folks that I've been gone for so long and only have this small morsel to offer. School is kicking my butt! Hopefully this will give you something to chew on until I get more time! **

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**Chapter Thirty-One: A Clash**

"Who are you to lecture me?" The hissed whispers of Bella just barely reached my ears. I could only hear the faintest mumble of a female voice respond. I snuck out of my study and down the stairs, trying to hear more clearly. I could tell they were in the basement. "You have no right to even think about him, let alone speak his name."

"But Bella-"

"Don't talk to me. You left him without even a fuck you very much! Now you want me to go declare my unwavering devotion to him just because you're guilty that he's unhappy? You should have fucking thought about that before leaving him." Bella's voice was scathing. I'd never heard her so angry.

"He-"

"-is none of your goddamn concern! You lost that right when dropped out of his life!"

"It wasn't like that, Robert-"

"-is your mate. Yeah I know. Carlisle is my mate, but you don't see me letting go of everything that I hold dear just because God found it fitting to split our soul and give half of it to each of us. You promised him forever. You didn't have to leave him so harshly and you know that, Esme. So spare me the lecture. I'll tell him I love him when I'm damn well ready to."

"He's miserable." Esme said weakly.

"You think I don't know that? It's killing me inside knowing that I'm the one hurting him, but I can't just fall back into his arms like I want to. I'm so lost in my own despair and anger that I can hardly concentrate. I'd rather avoid him than lash out at him in anger. I know he saved my life, but I still lost a man that I thought of as my brother and another man who had been my whole world, my first love, he was my everything and I was his. Now that I'm gone I'm afraid he might fall back to being the man he was before I met him or try and kill himself again. I can't help him anymore and it's killing me inside.

"I can live with the pain this transformation from human to monster put me in, I can live knowing I won't ever see my mother again, but if Daniel killed himself because of me I'd die inside." Bella let out a shuttering breath and I didn't know what to do. "The only thing keeping me from calling him up and telling him I'm okay is the knowledge that it could lead to all of our deaths." Bella paused. "So I'd thank you kindly not to try and lecture me about things you don't know about or understand. Actually, now that I think about it don't ever talk to me again. I can only barely contain my anger whenever I see you, knowing how much you hurt Carlisle just because of your selfish wants."

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**What do you think of Bella's thoughts?**


	32. Difficult Matters

**Sorry for the continuous delays, I'm havin' a hard time with this story. **

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**Chapter Thirty-Two: Difficult Matters **

Bella's and Esme's argument yesterday... I couldn't deny that I was pleased to hear how angry she got at Esme for hurting me. She knew we are mates. That simple piece of knowledge seemed to take away so much of my pain. Bella knew we were meant for each other. She knew that we would eventually end up together. All I had to do was wait for her to heal enough to accept me back into her heart. I couldn't think of a way I could speed up that process.

"Hey Dad." Edward said as he walked into my study and over to the window. He was staring out into the forest.

"Edward." I said with a kind nod before joining him by the window. Emmett and Rose were outside. Emmett was chopping wood and Rose was stacking it.

"I was just talking to Robert. Apparently Ryan hasn't hunted since they arrived."

"We should probably take him hunting then. I wouldn't want him to become too antsy, especially since I'm sure he isn't used to his surroundings yet." I paused. "Did they ever tell you his gift?"

"They didn't tell me, but I heard Robert think about it. Ryan's gift is the ability to make himself untouchable. You can still see him, but if you try to grab him your hand will go right through. That's why Esme and Robert had such a difficult time with him. They pretty much did everything right, it's just his gift that makes things difficult."

"Well sorry for being difficult." I looked towards the doorway, startled. Ryan was standing just outside of the room looking at us. His arms were crossed over his chest and his fists were clenched. He had moved so silently and when I glanced at Edward I could tell that he hadn't heard him either, despite his gift.

"It's not like that. I wasn't saying you were difficult; your gift is just something I've never encountered before. We want to help you." I said in a soothing tone. He snorted in response and walked into the room.

"I'm not trying to be a brat, but I have to ask… Mom said that you two used to be married and that it ended messily." I held back a growl, instead I just nodded in response. To say it ended messily was an understatement. "You're obviously not happy about her being here, so why did you let us come at all?" He was very blunt and I cleared my throat, surprised by his boldness.

"Regardless of how I feel towards… your mother and her being here I'm a doctor at heart. My first order of business is always the well being of others. Jasper and I have dealt with many newborns and we have a lot more experience than she does when it comes to helping you get your bloodlust under control. Bella, as I'm sure they've told you is also a newborn-"

"And yet she already has more control than me even though she's not even a month old."

"Unlike you Bella hasn't had the misfortune of crossing paths with humans." I was very grateful for that fact. "Esme and Robert should have taken you farther into the wilderness." I said more to myself than him.

"Don't you blame them for my fuckups!" Ryan started growling at me and I held my hands up in a show of surrender.

"What Carlisle is trying to say is that you don't need to be so hard on yourself. When I was a newborn I almost killed countless humans, but my gift didn't allow for me to escape from Carlisle's grasp like yours does. Your gift although strong hinders you at this point, but later in life when you have more control it will probably save your life. All we can do right now is focus on keeping you fed so that we can start working on control." Edward said and Ryan looked a little less on edge. "We should go for a hunt, all of us." Ryan eyed Edward and me then his posture relaxed.

"Sorry for growling at you. My mind just seems to be constantly racing and any slight seems to be the biggest insult and just fills me with rage." Before I could respond Ryan turned around and started heading for the stairs. "I'll tell my mom and dad we're going hunting. You get your people together."

"He's an interesting kid." Edward whispered to me once Ryan was out of hearing range.

"Yeah, I'll like him a lot more when he's in control of his newborn temper." I said while sitting back down, stressed from Ryan's fluctuating behavior and the whole situation. "I have no idea how Bella controls herself so well. Did you hear her and Esme arguing?"

"Yeah, I was sure Bella was going to attack her."

"I was too caught up eavesdropping to even think that…" A small burst of happiness at Bella's control bubbled inside me. God I love her so much.

"I talked to Bella about their 'conversation' and told her I was impressed that she didn't try attacking her, Bella said, and these are her words, not mine that she didn't 'claw that woman's eyes out' because she was used to 'dealing with Daniel's smart ass testing her temper for so many years'. Bella also mentioned having to always hold back her anger when her mother bought extravagant items outside of their budget." Edward shrugged and I was once again jealous that he talked to my mate more than I did. "I'll go gather everyone up for the hunt. Meet downstairs in five?" I nodded and Edward left. I sank more into my chair and sighed. I don't think I can take much more of these ups and downs. I glanced at the open bible on my desk then placed my hand on it.

Lord please let this hunt go smoothly.

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**Of course the hunt is not going to go smoothly... Any guesses on what's going to happen? **


	33. Through and Through

**Typed up this chapter with two fingers out of commission, it was a bit of a challenge lol**

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**Chapter Thirty-Three: Through and Through**

I walked downstairs, putting on a neutral face. Everyone was already gathered. The first person I spotted naturally was my mate. I can't get over how beautiful and caring she is. She was whispering comforting words to Ryan who was slumped down on the sofa, looking at his feet and occasionally nodding.

"Everything will be fine. We're in the middle of nowhere and I promise you I won't leave your side even for a second."

"That's what mom said last time and then I ended up attacking a human." Ryan mumbled and I could clearly read the heartbreaking look Bella gave him. Esme was on the other side of the room. She wanted to go to her son but, Robert held her back.

"This time is different. You have to trust me when I say everything will be fine." Bella said before she reached out and started holding his hand. Before anger and jealousy could consume me I felt Jasper dose me with calm. I gave him a curt nod in thanks and to tell him I was in control. The calm eased off and I was left just feeling annoyed and petty. "Come on, there is no use in avoiding it. Jasper told me that in order to master our control it is easier to be well fed. Avoiding hunting because you're afraid of killing a human is counterproductive." Bella pulled Ryan to his feet and started leading him towards the door. She would have made a perfect mother. We all followed her outside. "Carlisle," I was startled by her sudden acknowledgement of me.

"Yes, Bella?" I asked, not able to hold back the hope in my voice. She looked away from me and I thought I read embarrassment in her eyes. Bella looked at her hand that was grasped in Ryan's and let it go.

"Umm, are we all going to split up during the hunt, or how is this happening?" She asked and I glanced towards Jasper unsure of how to handle more than one newborn at a time.

"We stick together. Emmett and Rose will take up the rear. Carlisle, Esme, Robert and I will be to the sides of Ryan and Bella who will be in the very middle. Edward and Alice I want you two to lead." Jasper pointed to his wife and Edward. "I want you two on alert for any humans. I already did some tracking this morning so I know the general area a small heard is likely in. I spotted them about twenty klicks southeast from the house." Jasper pointed in the direction then looked to me.

"Alright, let's keep it all together. We'll get Ryan than Bella fed then head back here. After that you all can hunt on your own if you need to." Everyone nodded in agreement before we started running in the direction Jasper had pointed. We all moved in silence. Bella was only a foot away from me and I wanted to reach out and hold her hand. I tried to focus on the forest around me and be alert for any humans or any threats, but having her so close made it difficult. My eyes just kept drifting towards her.

It didn't take long for us to find the herd. Ryan started twitching the closer we got to them. We stopped quite a distance away and Ryan kept shuffling his feet. Bella was perfectly still, but her eyes were black. Jasper and Robert circled around to the other side of the herd.

"Go ahead, Ryan." I whispered. He glanced at me then Bella. She nodded at him and he took off towards the deer. He easily took down two does. I expected him come back over to us when he had finished off the second deer, but instead he hovered over the two carcasses.

"Shit." Jasper whispered, his Southern twang somehow seeping into his voice. I shared the same sentiment. Ryan must be a lot more stressed than I thought to guard his kills like that.

"Honey, there is no need for that." Esme tried to croon to him, but Ryan just growled louder. "He's never done this before." Esme said while looking at me. She was starting to fret and that wouldn't help anything. I motioned for her to be quite.

I could see Jasper edging towards Ryan's back. I forgot how silent he could be when he wanted to.

"Ryan, no one here is going to try and take away your prey." I said, trying to keep him distracted and his attention away from what was going on behind him. "We're all friends here." The way Ryan's shoulders slumped forward clued me into Jasper using his gift to calm him. He was still growling though. I could tell his actions were setting Bella on edge. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. I just prayed she didn't move towards the volatile male. "Remember all the times Esme and Robert visited you in the hospital-" Jasper chose that moment to act.

He lunged at Ryan only to go straight through him, landing roughly in the dirt and at my feet.

"Oh no." Esme's voice was steeped in a sad acceptance. Everyone could easily read her tone. Esme believed that she had failed her child. Robert unconsciously reached for his mate and she fell into his embrace, hiding her face against his chest.

"I'm throwin' as much calm and trust at him as I can." Jasper said as he slowly got up.

Ryan was looking around with wild eyes and snarling. If I didn't get this situation under control he could flee, or worse, attack Bella. I should have never allowed them to come here.

"Ryan-"

"Don't, Bella." I said, but his eyes were already fixed on my mate. She didn't look my way, instead she was completely focused on Ryan.

"I know how difficult it is to stay calm once the thirst takes over." Bella's voice was serene and soothing. "It must be ten times worse with all of us crowding you… I know you understand me and that you want to come with us." His growls were quieting down and he hadn't stopped staring at her. "That being the case the others are going to leave and it will be just you and me. I told you I wouldn't leave your side. I'll wait as long as it takes you to calm down."

"Bella-"

"Carlisle, you'll have to trust me on this." Bella said and I felt completely useless. I looked to Alice, silently begging her to tell me how this would end. Her eyes were glazed and she blinked before giving me a reassuring nod. I signaled for the rest of the group to follow me and with reluctant footsteps I left the two newborns alone. I immediately felt anxiety and fear fill me.

"They'll be back in an hour." Alice said as she ran beside me.

"I should have never allowed for him to come here. He's only going to end up hurting Bella."

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle. He's never acted this way before." Esme sounded like she was on the verge of tears, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

Ryan's presence was a threat to my mate. She had already been through so much physical pain with her drawn-out change, if he caused her anymore I- I don't know what I'd do, but it would sure as hell cost him a few limbs.

"Dad, Bella can handle this." Edward said as he ran up beside me. "She told me about the different sort of patients she worked with, many of the veterans had PTSD and a few of them were prone to acting like Ryan is right now. Bella was the only one on the military base that could calm them down without using any sedation. She knows what she's doing." I didn't know how to respond to him. Maybe my emotions were fogging my judgment.

"We all can leave if that's what you want once Ryan gets back." Robert said to me when we reached the house. I sighed and shook my head no. Despite my feelings I couldn't put them out like that. They needed our help.

"Everything will be fine." Alice patted me on the shoulder and went inside.

I stayed on the porch, staring into the forest. Esme and Robert stood on the other side of the porch.

How could I leave her out there with him? I just kept picturing all the ways Ryan could hurt my mate. I know she can defender herself better than most, but she's too kind. I don't think she'd injure a confused and panicking newborn, even if he did attack her.

My thoughts just kept racing as time slowly passed.

I should have never left them along. Alice's visions are flawed at best. She can't even see Bella, only the things going on around her. I have-

"I can hear his thoughts again. They'll be here in a few minutes." Edward said. I hadn't realized he had been standing in the doorway, watching the forest with us. "Ryan is himself again, but he keeps putting himself down. I'd wager he's completely embarrassed and ashamed." Jasper agreed from inside the house.

"Oh, my baby." Esme let out a strangled sob. Once they were in our sights Esme made a move to go to them, but Robert held her back.

My whole body seemed to completely relax when I saw that Bella was safe and even smiling. She was telling him about Jake, her dog and how he used to bury the remote in the backyard. He chuckled halfheartedly. When our eyes met he quickly looked away. I was surprised when he reached the porch and instead of heading to his parents he walked over to me.

"I'm sorry for acting the way I did toward you and your family. I'm going to try harder to get my urges under control." He really did look ashamed and all I could do was nod in response. He looked at me a second longer before turning to his parents who immediately engulfed him in a hug and started whispering how much they loved him.

I looked back to Bella and she was staring at me with a grin. I couldn't help but smile back at her. She hopped up onto the porch and right in front of me.

"Thanks for trusting me." Bella said sincerely as she placed her hand on my arm and squeezed lightly. There was a brief pause and she looked like she wanted to say more. Instead she took a deep breath before heading into the house before I could formulate a response.

I wish she had said more, but it was something at least.

The sun was starting to set so I decided to sit in the rocking chair and watch the colors change as I thought.

Things were definitely improving between Bella and me, but it still hurt to see her act so distant.

And Ryan… he was causing problems, but I think he's helping too. From what Bella told me of her past she was always helpings someone, whether it was her mother, Daniel, or a patient. Perhaps having Ryan here gave her someone to focus on, someone to help. Having that important aspect of her former life is probably a comfort to her, a reassurance that this new life isn't all about blood and death.

Hopefully having him around will help my mate let go of her past life so she can finally embrace this one...

For the first time in what felt like years I was hopeful.

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**Did any of you expect that? What do you think of how Bella handled the situation?  
**


	34. Hero Worship

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Hero Worship**

I could hear Bella downstairs on the phone with a stock broker. Her voice was clear and cutting as she ordered him to buy and sell stocks. I had to admit that it was rather a turn on to hear her be so commanding.

After yesterdays hunting debacle Bella had drifted away from me again and had started immersing herself back in the business world. She had already made just shy of a million dollars even though she'd started with just 10,000 dollars.

She suddenly slammed down the phone with an annoyed growl. Edward stopped his piano playing.

"Are you alright, Bella?"Edward asked.

"Everything that used to be hard is now too easy. When I was human it took me weeks to do research on stocks. Now it only takes me a few hours to make an accurate prediction." Bella sighed. "It takes all the fun out of life when everything is a cake walk."

"Well, you'll just have to find more challenging activities." Edward paused. "How about sparring? Carlisle mentioned that you used to kick box. How about we go outside and spar a bit. I might be able to teach you a thing or two."

"Are you sure you want to do that? I'm quite good."

"Bella, just because I look like a teenager doesn't mean I am. I have over a century under my belt. I think I can block a few jabs." I could hear the two of them moving outside.

"Is it alright if I watch?" Ryan asked meekly.

"Of course." Bella answered kindly.

I stood and walked over to a window overlooking the backyard, but I still couldn't see them.

"Let's go a little further out. I'd rather not have to repair the wall." God bless his soul. Edward knew I wanted to watch my lovely mate.

I suddenly realized that I was always watching Bella from a distance.

I was overcome with the feeling that she was and would always be out of my reach.

Maybe she really was too good for me…

I sighed and pushed my doubt aside. I knew I was morally a good man. I shouldn't doubt myself now.

Bella and Edward started exchanging blows. They both blocked quickly, but I could tell Edward was slowly gaining the advantage. She backed off suddenly.

"You're better than I expected." Bella said with a smile.

"You can thank Jasper for that. Years of losing to him have made me a remarkably good fighter."

"I guess I'll just have to step up my game." Bella grinned and raised her fists back up. "Ready for round two?"

"Bella don't say it like that. You'll make me blush." Edward said in a teasing manner. Bella rolled her eyes and I heard Ryan chuckle.

"Oh shut up!" Bella laughed before she started another barrage of hits and kicks. Her movements had picked up in speed and Edward started falling back.

"Get him Bella!" Ryan shouted.

Bella did a magnificent spinning kick and Edward ended up on his butt.

"Well, goodness I think we should get Jasper out here." Edward brushed himself off as he stood back up.

"As fun as that all sounds I'm really thirsty." Bella held onto her throat and frowned as she looked back towards the house. "Don't have such a glum face. Me being thirsty is in no way your fault, Ryan."

"She's right. You really shouldn't take the whole situation to heart." Edward agreed and I heard Ryan let out a puff of air before going inside the house.

"Jasper, Alice," Edward said in a slightly louder voice. "Bella and I are going hunting. Come with us." Jasper and Alice appeared a second later. I was slightly disappointed Edward didn't invite me along, but I figured he had his reasons.

After they left I went back to my desk.

So Bella thought everything was too easy?

I quickly opened my laptop and typed in a web address Aro had given me two years ago. It directed me to a series of math and word problems that any self respecting vampire could solve in under five minutes. The large red countdown on the top right corner only gave me two minutes for ten problems. My mind started racing, putting together the answers faster than I could type them out. After a minute and a half I was on the private website that Aro said was 'unhackable'. If I remember correctly Aro said that the problems changed after two minutes and if even a single question was wrong a virus would be released on the user's computer.

The bland webpage asked me for a name and I typed in: Carlisle. In grey letters it told me that there were only three others on the site: Felix, Jane, and Alec. I clicked on the 'Current Activity' tab and it told me that Jane and Alec were playing a game of Go and Felix was watching the match. I opened their game and watched Jane and Alec placed their pieces on the digital board. They were playing slowly for vampires, but I could tell they were really concentrating.

There was a slight ping and a message popped up on the bottom of my screen that told me Felix invited me to play a game of mahjong with him. I declined the invitation.

In the side panel was a list of games that ranged from Go, chess, Chinese chess, shogi and to games I didn't recognize.

Though I didn't like the idea of Bella associating in any way with the Volturi if she wanted a mental challenge this was the place to find one.

I watched them play for an hour before a knock on my door startled me. I logged off the website before inviting the person in.

Ryan walked in with an unreadable expression.

I gestured towards a seat and he plopped down with a frown and his arms crossed over his chest. He looked like the epitome of every angsty teenagers on earth.

"So Bella…"Ryan said in a leading tone.

"So Bella." I said in a more decisive voice, already not liking where this was going. He looked away from me and out the window.

"She's pretty awesome."

"I agree." I tried not to give him a condescending look, but I'm sure he could see it.

"She's not happy."

"Ryan, you keep telling me things I already."

"If you already know she's unhappy then why aren't you fucking doing anything about it?!" He shouted suddenly and I simply raised an eyebrow at him. Esme appeared in the doorway, a worried look on her face. She was about to speak to Ryan, but I held a hand up to tell her to remain silent.

"This is something Bella needs to work through herself. I want nothing more than for her to be happy." I suddenly felt physically exhausted as I spoke. "This is something she needs to work out herself. Unlike you she didn't have a warning on how painful the change would be, she had to leave behind people she loved, a life she loved. I'm giving her all the support I can, but if she doesn't want to accept my help I can't force her." I glanced at Esme.

"Ryan, please come downstairs with me so we can keep working on your gift." Esme said, her voice slightly nervous. He didn't move at first. "Ryan." She said in a scolding, motherly voice. Ryan pouted, but followed her out.

That kid… Why did I allow that family to come here again?

I couldn't bring myself to be mad at the boy though. It was easy to fall for Bella. And as he put it she is 'pretty awesome'.

Before I could relax there was another knock on my door.

"Enter." I said, not hiding my annoyance at all. Robert tried to look confident, but I could tell he was unnerved about being around me. Damn right you better feel guilty, you wife stealing shit. I pushed back my anger, that was neither here nor there and I had Bella now anyways.

"How may I help you, Robert?" I said, surprisingly cordial.

"I just wanted to apologize for Ryan. He's a very loving person, he actually got bullied a lot for it in middle school…" Robert explained

"I don't care that he has a crush on my mate, so long as he doesn't act on his feelings." Robert nodded, but didn't leave. "Anything else?" He shook his head no and left.

Today had already been too exhausting and it wasn't even half way over. I leaned back in my chair.

I could hear the soft footsteps of my mate and those that went with her heading back.

That had been a quick hunt…

And then I heard Alice's voice whisper: "Shhh, Bella, please stop crying."

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**What do you think of the website and Ryan's crush? Any guesses on what happened during Bella's hunt? **


	35. The Pain of Almost

**Sorry this took so long and is short. I'm just so uninspired. This chapter is fucking awesome though. **

**Really try to put yourself in Bella's shoes. **

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**Chapter Thirty-Five: The Pain of Almost**

My breath caught as I heard Alice speak.

Oh God please let Bella be alright! Hasn't she been through enough already?

A second later I was by her side just as she ran into the house. Her clothes were wrinkled and covered in dirt. As she spotted me here pitch black eyes went wide.

"Carlisle…" Her voice was strained and I could feel my heart breaking. Before I could even speak she was in my arms, crying with more pain than I'd ever seen her, even during her change. I held her tightly as she clutched onto me, sobbing harder with each breath she took. I lifted her up, not knowing what else to do. I started whispering soft words to her as I carried her upstairs.

"Dad, we were out hunting a-and-" Alice said as she followed us.

"She'll tell me when she's ready." I said while holding Bella tighter. Her fingers were digging into my arms, but I didn't care about such an insignificant pain, not when the love of my life was crying her heart out.

I breathed her in, trying to calm myself down so that I could properly comfort her. I didn't want to think about what could cause my angel such pain. God's best creation and she was suffering. I held her tighter.

It took her an hour to calm down enough to speak to me.

"I was so close… so close to killing them." Bella's voice was weak and shaky. "If I had just been an nth faster or Jasper a little slower they would have been dead, their lives ending at my hands."

"Shh, Bella it's alright. They're fine, everything's fine." I whispered and I felt her shutter.

"I love you, Carlisle, I really do." I felt my heart clench in both joy and pain. I'd wanted to hear her speak those words to me for so long, but not in this sort of situation.

"I love you too." I whispered to her and she started crying harder. Another ten minutes passed before she was silent again, only stuttering breaths showing her pain.

"I've spent my whole life trying to help people, trying to save them." Bella said. I waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"You've helped more people than anyone else I've known in all my years." It was the truth. There was no one more giving than Bella. "You're truly an angel."

"I just wanted to help people and now- and now I'm this monster who was made for massacres, to kill and destroy."

"Shh, that's not true. You're no monster-"

"Then what am I?!" Bella shouted while pushing away from me. She was across the room before I could react. "I just wanted to help- and now- what if next time Jasper isn't there to stop me?" I reached out to her, but she cringed away. "I just want the world to be a better place- If I ended up killing someone- if I destroyed a life, Carlisle," she looked me right in the eyes and I could feel my heart breaking, "I'd die. I'd be dead on the inside. There'd be nothing left of who I used to be." Her voice was lifeless, scaring me to my very core.

"Bella-"

"One day… I'm going to kill someone. It's inevitable. I couldn't control myself- even when I couldn't smell those men anymore I was still out of control, unable to dictate my own actions… I should have died that day at the bridge. I can't live like this, being a constant threat to what I hold dearest."

"Please don't say that." I begged while inching closer to her.

"I can't, I just can't. Please, Carlisle, I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can't stop. I'll kill someone some day and then I'll be dead in all but body."

"You can't know that, you can't be sure. I know you Bella, you'd never hurt a fly."

"I'm hurting you right now- don't try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes. I love you and I'm hurting you. I'd ask you to kill me, but that would be too cruel." As I looked her in the eyes it was like she was collapsing into herself, collapsing under the weight of this new life. "I love you so much, but I fear the day I can't stop myself."

"That day will never come. I promise you that." I said while hesitantly reaching out to her. She didn't move away so I engulfed her in a hug. "Please, I know it's selfish of me to ask, but I love you, please stay by my side. I put you in this horrible situation and I hate that I'm the one causing you this pain, but I need you, please don't go away, please don't talk about dying. You're everything to me."

* * *

**Did I stir your emotions?  
**


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